Weddings, and a suprising story

Wednesday was really stretched out between weddings.  As soon as I walked in at 12:45, I had two ceremonies to do.  And then nothing until after 3:00.

The couples were all very normal.  And you know for me, that doesn't happen.  They were sweet, in love, nervous, and then all happy the process was over.  So yes, very normal.  Yet I do get the strange ones, if not the couples then the witness.

Oh yes the witness for couple number 3.  I went to get the couple, and the bride is all a flutter, the volunteer witness B has disappeared.  I walked through the lobbies and called her name, nothing.  The bride went in the restroom and called her name, nothing.  The couple is in a panic.  Can they still get married?  I told them that we can always reprint and put someone else as the witness.  But don't give up, we will find her.  I asked where they found her.  She was at the desk next to them with her sister, and her sister is still there.  OK, I will go ask the sister where she is. 

I interrupt politely and the sister tells me B has gone to feed the meter.  So we wait some more.  I noticed the person talking to the sister is not a clerk.  It is one of the top level supervisors who is over the supervisor of the clerks.  Something serious is going down.  B comes running in and says she'll be right back.  I assure the couple that whatever happens they will be married that afternoon.  Finally B runs up to us and says, "Do I have a story for you.  This will be something for you to tell your grandchildren.  I was switched at birth at the hospital and I'm trying to find out who my birth mother is."  Well we were stunned.  You better believe we put the wedding on hold until she told us the story.

She had had some blood work done and found out she couldn't be related to her sister and parents. The blood types just don't match. The Navy hospital where she was born had closed. The records are somewhere.  She wanted the births recorded for the week she was born to be pulled.  That can't be done for many reasons.  She doesn't know if her birth date is correct.  In the 50's mothers and babies were kept in the hospital several days.  She could have been born the day before or 2 days later.   All this woman wants is to know her birth family medical history, and to maybe meet the family.  The family she grew up with wants to meet the blood daughter.  B wants nothing from the birth family.  She is not interested in suing anyone over the mix up of babies.  She said she has a great family who love her and she loves them.  But there are medical issues she needs to know.

Her next step is to try in Sacramento for the information.  If that doesn't work she will contact the Navy, her Congressman, and her Senator. 

And as my blog title says, I have no endings.  This one will haunt me.

Weddings, some

Wednesday was a little slow at the marriage factory.  I only did 4 marriage ceremonies.  The morning volunteer had more than she usually does, 4 or 5.  Nearly all the couples were Asian.  Wednesday was December 8, 2010.  And in the Asian community 8 is good luck. 

I did two ceremonies that had couples from India.  They could not have been more opposite.  The first couple asked for a short ceremony.  They stood apart from each other. They did not look at each other.  When the ceremony was over, they just walked away.  No touching, hugging, kiss, nothing. She had the traditional hennaed hands and lots of gorgeous diamond bangle bracelets.  I felt as if I were doing a business deal.  And basically that is what it was, an arranged marriage.  I hate, hate, hate doing them.  They really bother my old fashioned romantic senses. I may have been married 43 years, but still think you should be weak in the knees when you see your partner/lover/spouse enter the room.  Don't stand there and hope this will all go away.

The other couple from India and their 2 witnesses were so American.  They were the same age as the couple above, close to 30.  This couple was in jeans, no rings, IPhone for a camera, they were laughing, hugging each other.  So happy to be there.  None of them had an accent.  In fact they teased me about my Southern accent.  They were very in love, very intense during the ceremony, just a little teary eyed.  And yes, big kiss after I pronounced them husband and wife.

And my favorite wedding:  The bride was so nervous. When I got upstairs I asked my standard questions:  do you have rings, do you have your own vows, will anyone stand up with you, etc? After that, I said, "Please come up front and face your guests." The bride looked at me in panic and said, "We're going to do it now?" 

I told her we would not begin until she felt ready.  If she wanted to sit down and pull it together, we could do that. She said she was ready and we began.  She was so nervous and expressed it in laughter and giggles.  Which is very normal.  After the the ceremony she thanked me for such a lovely moving ceremony.

All in all a very nice day of weddings.  What will Monday's weddings bring?

Welcome

I have some new followers.  Welcome to my world.  I hope you enjoy reading my blog.  I hope you will comment or at least check a box at the bottom of each post.  I don't know who the new people are, and that is exciting.  People are reading my blog who don't have to.  They are not family or close friends who I expect to read the blog.  As I said exciting.

I am honored to have you follow me.  I hope I never disappoint you.  Oh, and tell your friends.  :)

HOT , HOT, HOT!

Last Saturday Marty did a demo at the glass studio for Berkeley Open Studios.  He made a piece that is just gorgeous. I took 53 pictures of the hour plus demo. I cut it down to 14 for your viewing pleasure.  Below you will see Marty creating this piece of art.  Remember to click on the pictures for a larger image.

 Marty is heating the glass in the glory hole.  The  glass is at 2000 degrees in the glory hole.  The glass at that temperature is the consistency of warm honey.  The glass artist must keep the puntee moving at all times or the hot glass will just fall off. 

 Here he is letting the glass cool down a little.  He can tell from the color how hot the glass is.

 Here Marty is picking up pieces of dichro glass.  They are in a small oven that heats them so they will work with the glass he has on the puntee.

 Here Marty is using the marver (steel table) to shape the glass.

 Flo is opening the furnace doors so Marty can gather some more clear glass.  After several gatherings the glass can weigh 5 to 10 pounds.  Then you do the physics thing of weight on the end of a 6 foot pipe, and he is hauling around 40 or 50 pounds.  Some of the large pieces they make factor out to close to a 100 pounds on the pipe. Not an art form for wimps.

 Marty is starting to cut the piece in half.  Part he will pull into a Fleur de lis.

 Here he is putting the top he is cutting off in the little oven to stay hot.

Brendan is reattaching the part Marty cut off  now that he has shaped the Fleur de lis.

 Marty is hand shaping the piece with only wet newspaper between his hand and 2000 degrees glass.  Flo is shielding his arm with a wooden paddle.

 Can you say white hot???

 Marty is pulling the tip of the piece and shaping it for the finished look.

 He is twirling the puntee like a baton.  That will stretch out the glass.

 More twirling. He sure looks like he is having fun here.

Marty is knocking the piece off the pipe.  Brendan is catching it and will place it in the annealing oven. The piece stays in the oven for close to 24 hours.  It must gradually cool down.  If it cools too fast it will shatter.

As you can see, glass art is hard work and just a little dangerous if you don't know what you're doing. 

"Because I'm getting better."

Tuesday was a busy day at school. When I arrived the children were in small groups and each group had a different project.  My group was working on contractions.  They had a worksheet that had a Christmas wreath on it.  At the bottom of the page were contractions inside a circle that they were to cut out and then paste on the wreath.  All around the wreath were leaves which had the words that a contraction came from.  Between the words was a berry.  The children found the contraction, such as won't and glued it between will and not.  If they had trouble, a chart was in front of them showing the different contractions and their origins.  Not a hard project.  But two little boys just could not focus.  Every contraction I had to prod them to cut it out, find the two words, put on the glue, pat it down.  Then on to the next one.  They just were so easily distracted.  But they finished and it was correct.  YAY!

There are maybe 10 children that I work with regularly in reading.  They have a series of little books they read to me.  The books are 6-8 pages long.  They began with pictures and words in the sentences.  Now they are all words.  There are no more then 2 sentences per page.  We work on the phonics highlighted in each book.  Then they read to me.  Some struggle sounding out every word; some can't remember words they work out the next time it appears; some guess the words; some read slowly and get all the words, and some read quickly with expression.  We have many levels of skill. 

One little boy R was a book behind the others. This happens to many of them for different reasons.  They miss school, the adult helping them doesn't have time to get to all the children, there is special testing, there is an assembly.  I had him read the first book to me.  He struggled, he couldn't remember words from one page to the next. Nearly every word had to be sounded out.  He finished and I moved on to the other children.  They all read the next book and I had time to take R again and have him caught up. 

R came up, sat down, and we began.  The phonics, easy.  He began to read.  Slowly but surely every word was perfect.  Very few words did he even have to work out.  It was if a different child were reading to me.  I complimented him on his reading.  I told him what a great job he did.  I talked to him about how much trouble he had with the first book (which was no harder) and how he breezed through the second book.  I asked him how come he did so well.  And all puffed up with pride, R said, "Because I am getting better."

Weddings

Monday was very slow.  I did no weddings until 2:30.  Then shortly thereafter another couple.  And then I sat.  It was almost 10 minutes until 4 and P brought me a license and then another.  Timing was just bad yesterday.  I thought I would be out of there right after 4:00 and be off to the grocery.

My first couple was Chinese.  The bride had only a last name.  And the fathers of the bride and groom just had last names. I have only seen this one other time and the bride was from India.

We had one license with a big time error.  The couple are to put in the computer where their parents were born.  If they were born in the United States they put the state.  If they were born outside the USA they put the country.  The groom put his parents were both born in Europe.  Ding, ding, ding, not a country.  Luckily I caught it and the clerk got the correct information and reprinted the license.  The couple had the neatest ring box for the ceremony.  It was hinged blue enamel box with a jeweled butterfly on top.  It was lovely.

When P bought me the next license she said the bride is pregnant with twins.  I did my paper work and went out for the couple.  The bride comes up and tells me the groom has gone to feed the meter.  Great.  Those of you who are regular readers know it ticks me off when they are not ready when I come out.  But this woman is so pregnant, so upset,  so worried I will be upset with her.  She is so miserable carrying twins I can't say anything to her.

 I tell her we will wait, no big deal.  And we wait and wait, and wait. I now know her life story.  (She is 33, she has a 14 year old and a 5 year old by her first husband.  Her mother has a church wedding planned in the spring.  The bride said she won't have these babies unmarried. Her mother will just have to be upset.)  She says she will go look for her groom.  I hurried back to my desk to call Marty.  He was to pick me up in 15 minutes.  I told him to wait 30.  I grabbed the other license and plan to take them up. But the groom has arrived.  I did a lovely unhurried ceremony for them.  They both were so emotional, tear spillage.  After the ceremony the bride told me these are her last babies.  NO MORE!

The last couple were so happy, excited, so giddy.  All through the ceremony he would lean over and kiss her.  Then he would look at me and ask is that OK?  I told him of course kissing is allowed.  They were fun.

We had to wait to get the certified copy of the license.  Another couple was in the office asking about getting married on Valentine's Day.  They wanted to make a reservation right then.  They had the license and wanted a time so they could send out invitations.  We don't take names for Valentine's Day until a month before.  But this couple convinced the Marriage Desk Clerk to do it.  So she entered them at the time they wanted.

Even when I have a slowish day, things happen to make it interesting.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

Monday Weddings

Monday I performed seven marriage ceremonies. Wednesday I had an appointment and did work.  On Monday the lobby was packed when I arrived.  Everyone showed up within an hour's time.  At one point I had 4 licenses on my desk.  And then around 3:15, when we usually get the rush, nothing.

The first couple were probably the most extreme in tattooing and body piercing I have had.  Their arms, legs, necks, hands were covered in body art.  They both had multiple plugs in their ears and multiple piercings.  He was not wearing the plugs in his ear lobes and they were huge holes swinging. His lobes looked like a coffee mug would fit in them.  She had plugs which kept popping out.  Their faces had multiple piercings.  Looking at them made me just a little queasy.  Yes, I admit, not fond of body art, face piercings, nor the plugs. 

Again you can't judge a book by its cover.  This was one of the sweetest, loveliest couple I have married.  They were so serious about what they were doing.  They were very intense during the ceremony; listening to every word I said and to every word they said.

Another couple turned out to almost be my neighbors.  They live a couple of blocks away.  And he was from the deep South and even had lived in Louisville.

One couple had lots of family and friends with them.  The bride wore a cocktail dress that was black and white.  That seems to be the choice for the majority of brides lately.  I began the ceremony, the groom was hesitant when I asked Do you take . . .  finally croaked out yes.  Everyone laughed.  I thought that was weird and rude.  Then I began the vows and nothing is coming out of his mouth.  I asked is there an English problem.  More laughter.  It turns out he had laryngitis and sometimes nothing comes out.  Just a squeak. I offered to let him skip the vows since they aren't a legal part of the ceremony.  He said he could do it.  And he did.

Lots of weddings, lots of ethnic groups.  Some deeply touched me. And one I hope will last but doubt it.  The bride was 35 and this was her 4th marriage.  That seems to me to be a person who doesn't do marriage well.

What a great day at school.

Today was a great day at school. The children were working on different projects when I arrived this morning.  I worked with the group who were working with antonyms and with blends.  Part of them worked with words that were opposites-such as many/few and some worked on words that began with blends. The blend group worked with cards that had the beginning sound and the ending of the word- sk/unk or br/idge.  The children then had to write sentences with the words they had made. 

Making a sentence is a big deal for a first grader.  It is very difficult to make a sentence, spell words correctly, and to write the letters correctly.  And two I worked with zoned out as we worked.  I had to constantly restart them writing.  They just could not stay on task.

We had a wonderful bonus today.  We had an assembly.  The Pacific Boychoir sang for us.  This is an amazing group of young boys. They are a group of children from the 5 Bay area counties, who attend a school in Oakland dedicated to music.  They are a professional choir that has traveled the world: China, Russia, South Africa, Denmark, Ohio, Hawaii, Germany, Hungary, France. . .They visit schools in the area, they sing with major symphonies, they are Grammy winners.  I have never heard children sing so wonderfully.  I wish I had had my iPhone with me.  I really wanted to record the performance.  Pretty amazing assembly.

After the assembly we had recess and then back to the real world.  We had a math test to do that all first graders in Oakland would be doing.  It is multiple choice, they just bubble in the correct answer. Testing first graders is so hard.  They want help and we can't do more than read the question; they can't find the problem we are on;  they yell out the answer; they get upset because the answer they think is correct isn't one of the choices; they check out the answer their neighbor has; they can't find their answer and are one question behind.  It really is hard to keep all of them on track.  We made it through, mostly.  Some of the children were so upset they just quit.  So Ms. H gave the test individually. 

After the test I read the book The Very Cranky Bear by Nick Bland to the class. I can't find a good web site. He also is a well known photographer.  The sites are more about his photography than his book.

This was a special day.  The children really enjoyed the holiday show from the boy's choir.  They worked hard in class, and they loved the book I read.  The math test, not so much.

Thanksgiving from Hell

Below is an email from my sister in law.  She and my brother have had the Thanksgiving from Hell.  Their son Tres and his family flew to Louisville from Davis, CA for Thanksgiving and to have their baby christened.  Before they arrived their 6 year old son, Hall, had been ill with a "bug".  They arrived Monday and then the bug went through the family.  By Thanksgiving, when we talked to them, everyone seemed to be well.  Seemed to be.  The California group spent the day with Casey's family. The "bug" was stronger than thought. Hall and Bella are children, Tres and Casey the parents.  Ann and Henry, my sister in law and my brother.  The event Ann is talking about is the baptism and party at her home afterwards.

"Yuck!!!


Let's see, Tres and Casey arrived back home with both kids puking in the (er, MY) car at about 730P on Tgiving night. Hall finished the barfs about 9P and Bella's last episode was somewhere around 230A :) --shortly after, I began feeling like a sledgehammer has descended on me--aches, chills, headache, and a bit queasy  (never the barfs though)--then at 6A I began enjoying the rear end weight loss sessions which lasted till about 11A--took a bentyl--gutted through the rest of the food prep that the kids hadn't completed (bless their hearts) and the baptism. (Yes we DID miss you all!) I finally threw the towel in with about 40 in the house and went to bed with aches, etc. at 3P, followed by Bella (still gagging and fussy), and then joined by Henry around 430P--by 530P when I arose with Bella, Henry was driving the back toilet bus and continued off and on with chills and pukes till 930P. Until 3P or so today, he was totally wiped out--revived by lots of gingerale, gatorade, sprite, mashed potatoes, chicken soup and Zestas. Casey, Tres and Hall are fine as I am now and Henry and Bella recovering, although whenever she even hiccoughs, she thinks she will puke and immediate squeals and panics, bless her heart. This has been some week! Good thing I don't mind doing wash--dishes or linen--and cleaning bathrooms--and blessed be for four bathrooms!!!

Our dinner was pbj--good for me or I would never have gotten off the john with regular meal. Henry was not so lucky as he ate everything twice on the reception buffet we provided! LOL--I just drank tea and wine and had another pbj! I have actually lost 5 pounds.

The baptism was lovely and very sweet--Fr. Moran (Boston Irish) was very sweet but kept correcting himself--he called baby Anna Elizabeth ( my note the baby's name is AVA) 4 times!!! ALL the Duttons were there from 93 year old Grandmother Cordova to 5th generation gtgtgrandchild Molly May! Peggy, Sean, Amy, Mother and Jack and friends of ours made it--Later Frank and Linda (she and Tres took over the party clean up bless them), Jim, Nick, Laura and Tiffany were at the house."

So how did your Thanksgiving go?

Weddings

If you read my blog on Tuesday, November 23, you will understand why I was nervous doing weddings on Wednesday.  Luckily nothing awful happened.  Very nice couples and fairly normal problems.

By the time I got upstairs with the first couple, I had figured out the bride spoke very little English. I had to go to the Marriage Desk Clerk and have her call several people to get a translator.  I wish the clerks would talk to both the bride and groom.  We have commissioners to do foreign language ceremonies.  I sometimes think some of the clerks just don't want to bother tracking down a bilingual commissioner.  They want me to take it to the Marriage Desk Clerk and let her do the work. 

I shook hands with the next bride and groom and their toddler walked up and stuck his hand out too.  So I shook hands with him.  This couple was young, each 22.  They had 2 children, the little boy and an infant. The bride wore a black and white satin dress and the groom wore a white dress shirt and white slacks.  They had close to 20 people with them and all were dressed for the occasion.  The groom was a nervous wreck.  I was worried he would pass out before we finished the ceremony.  He made it OK. The family was so thrilled with the marriage.  Lots of love in the room.

One more problem couple.  The couple and the witness were Iranian.  He was 68 and she was 56.  He was very debonair looking:  Silver hair, ascot, sport coat and dress slacks, major jewelry. His English was perfect.  The bride said hello and then was quiet.  I asked them if they had rings and the witness started translating to the bride.  I stopped her and asked if the bride spoke English.  They said just a little.  I explained I could not marry them if she didn't understand me.  Oh, they would translate, I said no you can't.  Why?  So I explained that women could be brought in from other countries and married and not know what was  happening.  I don't know what they are saying and brides don't know what I am saying.  So for their protection only our translators may speak for the bride.  We have to be sure they know why they are here.  The groom and the witness were floored.  Who knew there were evil people out there. I questioned the bride, why was she here, did she want to marry, could she understand what I said.  Turns out she could understand basic things.  So I did the ceremony.  Because vows are not a legal part I let the groom translate them and they said their vows in Farsi.

I hated being hard nosed about the translating.  But the rules are the rules.  Good thing the bride could answer my questions.  Because to my knowledge we have no Farsi translators.