Weddings on Wednesday

Yesterday I did 4 ceremonies.  I thought I was going to do another one, but in the elevator the bride asked in perfect English, " You will be doing the wedding in Spanish, won't you?"  And I said, "No."  Why don't they tell the clerks they want something besides English?  I turned them over to Clerk M and went back downstairs. 

It was a day of impatient rude couples and a couple not ready when called. They greatly irritated me, so much so, I had to work at being civil.  Two couples complained to a clerk that they were having to wait too long.  One had been in the building 35 minutes, the other couple had been there 25 minutes.  The first couple I checked the license and immediately called their names. The second couple I was waiting for the Spanish speaking couple to exit the wedding room.  Both of these couples had done a cultural wedding and now were just wanting the legal parts done.

One of these couples had brought a large framed picture of their cultural wedding.  They looked lovely.  The bride and groom kept talking about the wedding they had done.  The bride looked at me and said, We don't want a ceremony, just sign the papers so we can leave."  I explained that isn't how it works. 

But the couple that really ticked me, floored me, and even upset our volunteer witness was the family with three children.  I called their names, nothing, called again and the groom came up and said the bride was feeding the baby.  I understand babies have to be fed, no choice.  But tell the clerk you need 20 minutes or so before being called.  I went back to my desk.  They finally knocked on the door, they were ready.  I waved at them and gathered up my things.  Their two oldest children continued to beat on the door until I opened it.  Their parents just watched them.  I called to our witness M to join us and we went upstairs. 

I am ready to begin, and the groom says he left the camera in the car.  I had another couple after them, so did not want to delay the next group.  I said you can use your cell phone, we have already had to wait on you.  He said no, and walked out of the room.   M looked at me and rolled her eyes.  About that time the mother put the toddler down who then ran screaming around the room.  Before I can stop her from running, she fell and hit her head on a pew.  The clerk in the next room heard the crack of her head against wood.

I expected blood and gore, maybe even a concussion.  You just can't believe how loud the hit was. No blood. The child is now screaming in pain. We offered to go to the deli and get a cold soft drink (no ice) to put on the child's head.  The mother said she'll be fine.  And Mom didn't even run her hands over her head to see if there was a cut or bump.  M and I both rolled our eyes.  The mother later did check the child's head.

Finally the ceremony is over. Usually I go downstairs while the couple is getting their certified copy of the license.  I ended up riding down in the elevator with them.  I should have waited until they were gone. The baby had a dirty diaper that nearly gagged me.