Monday Weddings

I only did weddings on Monday.  Wednesday I had a conflict.  That is the beauty of volunteering, you get to pick what you will do.  Monday was really busy before I got there.  When I walked in at 1:00, one clerk yelled, "I love you, Janet!".  Then she handed me a marriage license with a big smile.  She had done a lot of ceremonies that morning, and it wasn't her turn.  For some reason the clerk on call was not answering her phone.  That meant W had to do them.

I perforomed 3 1/2 marriage ceremonies.  Regular readers know what that means.  Someone didn't tell the clerk they needed a translator.  The clerks should figure that out.  If only one person is talking in English and translates to the other, big sign English will not work.  I hated not to do the ceremony.  The bride wore a white chiffon knee length Greek style dress.  The groom wore a black suit with a lighter black stitching on the lapels.  Their toddler son wore a long sleeve white shirt, black tie, black vest, and black slacks.   Guests were dressed up, everyone was nice.  But it wasn't mine to do, Marriage Desk Lady got to do it.

I had a Confidential Wedding to do.  (a confidential license doesn't require a witness, the record of the marriage can only be accessed by the bride and groom, anyone else wanting information about their marriage must obtain a court order which are rarely given.)  The couple was relaxed, excited about the wedding . . .  until the ceremony started.  The groom became very emotional, he barely could say I do.  And then for the vows, he lost it.  He cried, then he could not utter a word, she held him until he calmed down enough to finish the vows.  Then she cried during her vows.  I was worried I was going to cry, it was pretty emotional.  It was very touching.

The last wedding left a bad taste in my mouth.  The couple used the young man from the Deli for the witness.  I asked if they wanted him to take pictures for them.  The bride looked at me as if I were crazy, and said, "Why would we want pictures of this?  We were married yesterday. We had a huge wedding yesterday. Just get this done."  OK, bitch, heard.  I explained this is the wedding/marriage for legal purposes and she can't use yesterday's party as her marriage date.  She glared at me, crossed her arms, and looked between pissed and bored.  The entire ceremony she and the groom had their arms crossed, looked bored, and did the vows in a dead I am so over this voice.

Usually if there is no interest in the ceremony, I do the 3 legal sentences ceremony.  This chick had ticked me off.  She was rude to me and to the volunteer witness.  She felt no importance for her legal ceremony.  So I out bitched her, I am way older and have much more experience as a Southern Belle in handling rude people.

I gave her and her bored groom the longest fluffiest ceremony we have.  I also read it as slow as molasses in January.