A Hellish Morning

Today I had a CT Scan to see what is happening after the 3 rounds of chemo.  I have had several scans and it is no big deal.  They inject dye through an IV, you go back and forth in the tube several times, and it is over. Being agoraphobic I have to convince myself that I am in my safe place and not  in a closed in tube.  I can do that, so 10  minutes or less I am out the door.  Not today, we arrived at 9:45 and left at 12:15.

We arrived for our appointment and the receptionist tells us they are running an hour or more behind.  Come back later.  We went for breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.  Not exactly up to our local diner.  Then we upstairs to get an appointment straightened out for Monday.  We go check in and they are ready for me.  Marty helps me change into a hospital gown and I am ready for the tech to start the IV.

She checks veins and worries that they are thin, rolling, not pumping up well.  She doesn't want to have to stick me umpteen times.  So she studies my arms and hands.  She picks a vein and she is in.  No problem.  Oops, she hit a valve.  And then it will let her draw blood, but not inject anything.  The vein shuts down.  New vein, same story.  The tech so doesn't want to hurt me or upset me.  She contacts a nurse who is known for working through this type of problem.

They wheel me down to ER and the nurse starts working on me.  She is in, and the vein holds. Back we go for the scan.  The tech starts the saline and something moves in my wrist and I am screaming in pain.  What happened?  No ones knows.  No reason for anything like that to happen.  She starts it again and now the damn IV tubing is leaking.  Neither of us is happy.  Nothing is going right.

The tech checks everything and tries again,  still leaking.   She  pulls the tape ( fancy new pre cut tape for IVs ) off and re-tapes the IV, "old school".  Then she held everything together by hand until I finally receive the dye.   Finally I am ready for the scan. 

By now I am so upset that my calming thoughts have gone to hell in a hand basket.  I am crying, shaking, and in a full blown panic attack.  I just want it over, I want off that sliding tube thing.  I want Marty and I want to go home.  The tech was so sweet and trying to not hurt me, trying to calm me down, trying to get the test over so I could go home.  It is a wonder she didn't join me in the panic mode.

Now I have to get off the table and I am shaking so hard I can't get up by myself.  She grabbed the sheet under me and lifted me up gently.  After I was steady, she swung my legs around and got me off the table. I told her while I was stuck crying in that tube the song I've got tears in my ears from lying on  my back crying over you kept going through my head.  She puts me back in the wheel chair and takes me out to Marty. 

I WAS FINALLY GOING HOME.

Don't think the tech did anything wrong.  She didn't.  I have rolling thin veins.  She tried so hard to not hurt me.  No one's fault.  Just the problem of old veins, stuck too many times veins, it was just a crappy day.