Oh Hell, I said it out loud, then . . .

I keep saying don't tempt fate, don't say it out loud.  But I did, I said several times how great I feel, how nice not to have real icky side effects.  Yesterday it bit me in the butt. 

I felt fine when I got up.  I ate breakfast, made the bed and started my walk.  (I walk in the house because I am too wobbly to walk alone on the sidewalks. Thanks goodness I was home when all hell broke loose.)  Marty was taking a shower and 15 minutes into my walk suddenly I have severe cramping.  We are a one bathroom home. 

I kicked Marty out of the bathroom and try to live through the cramping.  I was also very nauseated.  And then I broke out in a sweat.  Sweat was pouring down my body just to add to the discomfort of diarrhea and nausea.  I took meds for nausea and diarrhea.  I looked in the mirror and I was white as a sheet.  Let's just say I looked like death eating a cracker. 

Finally the meds kicked in and I was not so uncomfortable.  The nausea was not gone, but was bearable.  I slept off and on all day.  I was exhausted.  I couldn't stand the thought of food and only had broth for supper and a little water.  I took meds again before bedtime and slept fairly well.

This morning I feel better, but still have some nausea.  I have taken my meds and plan to sit in the chair and sleep most of the day.  This is all was normal for chemo.  But it really threw me for a loop.  Denial had cropped up in my life.  I was thinking I could sail through this type of chemo with minor side effects forever.

I just hope this is just a one time awfulness and I go back to my side effects of minor nausea and tiredness.  This episode scared me and scared Marty.  He was to give a presentation and was worried about leaving me.  I sent him on.  I was sick but not as sick as last fall.  And I knew if I texted him to come home he would come running.  Plus I always have the Kaiser Advice Nurse and 911.

So friends, I don't know what time will bring.  Next week is a chemo off week.  Maybe things will settle down.  Keep your fingers crossed and keep those prayers going.  Also thank you for letting me vent to you.