Doom and gloom, and then you make jokes?

It has come to my attention that there is confusion caused by my health posts.  I tell you all how sick I am, the runs to the ER, tests, being scared and on and on.  And then I make jokes about it, or just write how normal an ER run is for us.  Some people think I haven't been very sick the last year if I am able to joke.  Others think I am too negative about my chances.  They don't want to hear about death.  Some think if I say how low the chance of survival is, I have given up.  So let me clarify the mud.

I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP!

I handle the awful things in my life by laughing.   I can't be sad all the time. So I have crying jags, and then I laugh about no need to shave my legs anymore.  If I cry all the time I will have no energy for this battle.  I have to recognize the bad odds and help Marty with practical things we have to handle.  I have to suck it up and be a big girl.  I have to keep fighting and keep laughing.  I do believe a little bit in miracles.  The Pet Scan was way better than we were braced for.  Prayers helped that one I am sure.

Trust me, I have been very sick for over a year and will be sicker.  I write about my health to help  me vent.  A friend told me it was important that I shared, now she knows how to pray for me.  I also write hoping maybe I will help some one else who is sick.  Maybe they can see some of  my issues are fixable and theirs might be also.   Maybe they will try prayer.  Maybe I can give them comfort and they will see they are not alone.  Maybe they will just get a laugh from the weird woman writing this.

Everyone handles illness differently.  Most people are much more private than I am.  They need to keep it all close. That is perfect for them, that is how they keep their sanity.  Anything that helps the sick person and their loved ones is perfect.  Crying, anger, laughing, hugs, prayers, venting, holding it close it is their choice for making it through the crap of illness.

Listen to and watch your friends.  Accept their ways to handle tragedy. 

A few wedding tales

Even though the  Marriage Factory was closed on Monday, Labor Day, I still have tales to tell.  I saved some stories from past weeks to cover the holiday.

A couple of weeks ago I was helping to train an intern.   She had just turned 18, so could now do marriage ceremonies.  She asked intelligent questions, took pictures, helped as needed.  But she was a huge help with one group.  We had a guest who was an elevator phobic.  And the poor guy was only about 10 years old.  So the intern walked him up the stairs to the Wedding Room.  In our building to go to the next floor is at least 2 stories of stairs.  I was tired by then and thrilled not to have to take the stairs. 

We had another elevator phobic, a toddler.  His twin loved the elevator, he was terrified.   What had triggered a phobia in a child so young?

 An example of the busy life of some of our couples.  They had come straight from work, got married, and then changed into casual clothes, and took off to go to class in Berkeley. 

I checked the license, the groom had just turned 40 the day before.  When he walked up to me, I thought we have to reprint.  His birth date is wrong.  He didn't look over 16 years old.  But he was really 40.  He says he is always carded.

People get emotional at weddings, the couple, the family, the guests.  I have even cried at some of the weddings I have done.  People will cry silently, they will have a break in their voices.  But this one was just weird.  The couple were so emotional they had to stop several times during the vows to pull it together.  One guest was sobbing loudly, crying and shaking, holding on to other guests.  Just really strange.  They all made it through, but I really wish I knew what the deal was.   Like I say, I have no endings.