IF IT COULD GO WRONG, IT DID!!!

I am told I am a strong woman, a brave woman.  I am handling my life like a trooper.  Well yesterday I was reduced to a quivering mass of tears.  I cried most of the morning, screamed and cursed and was ready to kill anything one or anything.  No, cancer had nothing to do with any of this.  Well a little, stress upsets me a little bit more now.  This will be long and ugly.  So bear with me.

I began the day by picking up (like an idiot) a large piece of art glass.  So I messed up my back a little.

Then I did laundry.  Or I tried.  The second load did not spin out of the soak cycle.  This is a regular problem.  I had dirty wet towels.  I  tried to wring them out and threw them in the dryer (which I ran twice) and ended up hanging on a make shift line.  I talked to the landlord and he called a repairman. I have two more loads to wash.  The repairman won't be here until Monday.

I tried to give myself my Lovenox shot.  The syringe wouldn't push.  I pulled it out pushed and it worked.  I stuck myself again, and it didn't work.  I got a new syringe and this one worked. 

People it is not 10:30 and all of this is making me crazy.  I am upset, I hurt, and I can't fix anything.  Then I made a butt call to my brother.  This scared them because I never call early in the day.  We nearly always talk around our supper time and just before their bedtime.  Anyway, they called me and wanted to know what was wrong.  Bless my heart, I told them and cried some more.  They calmed me down and I moved on to my next task.

Background: And this is the short version.       For 40 years I have paid for a cancer policy.  Most women on my Mother's side of the family had one.  It was a cheap policy and after 40 years the pay out has not kept up with inflation.  But they owe and I have tried since October 2014 to  make a claim.  First I was told no such policy number existed, then they found me and after a couple of months they gave me my agent's name and phone number, a woman in Virginia.  She was very nice, but their computer system would not let her access my records in California, which is not her territory.  It took until June 18 to get someone in the Bay Area to help me. 

A lovely man came to my house, filled out all the forms, had me sign release forms for health records, copied my flash drive with all my Kaiser bills from 2014 to present.  He sent that in to headquarters. He told me Kaiser sometimes is slow releasing data if the insurance company needed more info.  He told me to wait a couple of months then do a status check. 

Okay, yesterday I decided 3 1/2 months was long enough for me to have heard something.  I called, they said my policy number did not exist.  Finally after I explained the last year to them they found me.  And then all hell broke loose.  She said I had not sent in complete records.  I asked why they did not contact me.  Why didn't they contact Kaiser?  Well they said I should have gotten a letter, but looks like it was never sent.  They didn't contact Kaiser because there was no release form signed.  I started yelling and being one of THOSE customers.  I told her she had just read what I had sent in and she said I had signed a release form.  Oh, right.  They should have contacted Kaiser. 

I now needed to re send everything to them.  They would MAIL me forms and information on what they needed.  I was reaching through the phone for her throat at this point.  She wouldn't let me talk to the person who was handling the claim.  I started yelling and crying.  Get me your supervisor.  Same crap from the supervisor.  All my responsibility, even though they had lost the forms and had not contacted me or Kaiser.

I told her off, yes there was cursing and crying involved.  I explained they are dealing with very sick people and they should care a little about us.  The whole time she talked over me with her set spiel.  I then told her I would be calling 7 on Your Side and would see them on the news. And I hung up.

I called the lovely man who had helped.  I am not one of his clients, he just agreed to help when asked.  He had kept all my records, and had records he had sent the information.  He sent everything in again.  He told me to wait until Monday to call for a status report.  And if they didn't have their act together, to call the TV station.

I felt better after talking to him and thought maybe I could finish the day as planned.  I was emotionally and physically exhausted and the day wasn't over yet.  We were taking a friend out for a birthday dinner. I really was too tired to go.  But I did.

We go to the restaurant and have octopus stirred fried and calamari deep fried.  It was delicious and I had no problem eating it.  I ordered a safe pasta dish not wanting to push those chemo taste buds.  Well the server set my bowl down and I nearly gagged.  The smell and taste was awful, to me.  So no main course for me.  Marty gave me some of his wonderful pork chop and always, pork tastes good to me. 

And that was how I was reduced to a puddle of tears all day.  Today I am calmer. 

   

Health Update and other stuff

Monday

I had a lab appointment that morning to check platelets and other things to see if I could have chemo on Tuesday.  Everything was all good.  That afternoon I had my two year eye check up.  Then we were off to our regular store, Embry Bay Optics to pick out new glasses. Marty and the owner have picking out my frames since the late 90's. 

After that Marty needed to stop at an Alameda County Office to pick up a survey plot.  He parked in front of the Marriage Factory.  I put on my protective mask and headed in to surprise and visit with the staff.  As I went in I waved at  my favorite Alameda County Deputy.  He looked at me funny and then came over and said, "Janet, is that you?'  The mask, glasses, and my cap did hide my face. I went upstairs to the Marriage desk and said I needed a hug.  Christine (who does have a vision problem) looked at me and said, "I don't think so." She then recognized my voice and we laughed. Then I saw most of the staff.  It was wonderful to see them again.  They had been such a huge part of my life and now I can't do marriages.  Too weak for all the walking and standing, and too many germs from the public. 

Tuesday

At 9:00 I had a dental check up.  A friend who was a nurse had warned me I couldn't have a cleaning.  All that scrapping would spread germs into my blood stream.  The oncologist agreed.  So no cleaning just a check up.  No cavities.  That was a good things, don't know how we would handle the drilling, that could really spread germs into the blood stream.

That afternoon I had my chemo session.  It has been over 24 hours and no side effects other than fatigue.  I will take that any day over all the troubles I had with the other chemo. 

Wednesday

Today I did really normal things.  I did the laundry.  Marty carried down and back up the clothes. I needed to hold on the banister down and up those 26 steps.  Why you ask am I doing the laundry.  Son Erik, who comes every Wednesday to help us out, is out of town on a business trip.  Marty would have done the laundry but I wanted to try to do it.  I need to do more things to build my strength so I can do fun things. 

I had to rest after going up and down the steps.  Then I put clean sheets on the bed.  I had to do it.  I  had stripped the bed that  morning.  We have to have sheets to go to bed tonight. 

Who knows, maybe I will get strong enough to clean the apartment.  Not sure I want to be that normal.

Plans for Thursday and Friday

Friend Kirsten is driving me downtown for a little shopping Thursday.  The plan is to have a late lunch and then shop for Valentine cards.  Marty would have taken me, but then he would have to stand in another part of the store as I picked out his cards.  That wouldn't be much fun.

Friday I plan to watch the pouring rain and rejoice. The meteorologist better be right. It hasn't rained in over 40 days.  And we are running out of the rainy season.  This drought is big time scary. 


I am feeling good, doing more, and thank all my prayers warriors for getting me back to a better level of health.  Friday week we meet with the oncologist and work on our game plan. 

DOMESTIC GODDESS, almost

Yesterday and today I have been in domestic mode, not mood. I don't want to do the things I have done and still need to do. But someone has to and it is in my job description of Domestic Goddess.

So yesterday and today I cleaned out drawers in the guest room, put clean sheets on the bed, and worked on the closet. We have company coming. The guest room is my closet and my storage area. Remember we live in an old 2 bedroom house. Small closets. When guests come, I have to rearrange stuff so they don't live out of their suitcases. I am almost there. We have three large empty drawers now. And the closet has had things hung double and on multiple blouse hangers. Of course while they are here, I will be in the room anytime I dress, undress, need a jacket, purse, shoes, jewelery. It isn't bad sharing with family, really awkward if they aren't related.

I also did laundry, cleaned the bathroom, found a leak in the sink pipe (Marty fixed it when he got home) and changed the sheets on our bed. I then fixed a great cumin chicken for supper.

Today I continued in the Domestic Goddess mode. More laundry to do and to put up. We are either the dirtiest or cleanest people in the world. Always doing laundry. I don't mind washing and drying laundry, I don't mind putting up underwear, shirts, nightgowns, towels; but I hate matching socks. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Marty has navy and black socks that look just alike. You need bright sunlight to tell them apart. And then there is the problem of the vanishing mates. Where do they go? Why do they show up the week after you give up and throw the other sock away? Just asking.

Next Wednesday final cleaning and shopping. Little Brother and Ann arrive on Thursday morning.