Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like??

Well its been about 10 days since my last blog and much has happened.  Marty has been decorating for Christmas and preparing for the season.  It's not easy decorating around all of the equipment needed for me.  We've cut back on how we usually decorate.  Most of the stuff is still in boxes.  Christmas is a season of giving and our friends certainly have.  Chef Ben came over last Friday and prepared many meals for us to last a week or so.  He spent about 4 hours here cooking and putting the great food in serving containers so all Marty has to do is microwave it and serve it.  Hank and Thom brought a wonderful raspberry torte.  Mark brought us a Christmas tree and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  Nancy and Lew brought us soups and lasagna.  Janet R sent candy canes and chocolate.  We are set for a few days.  Faithful Kirstin and Pat sat with me while Marty ran some errands.  We have received phone calls from friends across the country which filled our hearts with warmth and love.  Our church friends have been in high gear supporting us with communion and visits. We are in a pretty set routine with hospice and take care of Janet. 

Mr. Morphine has come out of the cabinet.  I have a blood clot in my leg that is extremely painful.  Walking is almost impossible.  I have done a fair share of crying and moaning.  Poor Marty is the one who has to listen to the bitching and moaning.  I know I need to move as much as possible to keep my muscles working. 

There is some humor in our life.  When Kirsten was sitting she drew bathroom duty.  As she was helping me get my underwear up it was not going well and she said "you've got your knickers in a twist".  Neither of us had used that word in a long time and we laughed and laughed.  Laughter is good. 

Today's post may sound down and whiny, but I am not that way very often.  Continued thanks and hugs to my prayer warriors.  We have been in this a long time. 

A short update

I haven't updated for a couple of weeks.  Not since the scan fiasco.  There isn't a lot to tell you all.  My chemo sessions are not making me sick as the pre Christmas chemo did.  And that is the great news.

I feel pretty good, slight nausea and very tired.  I take a pill and the nausea goes away.  I am eating well, maybe too well.  Cheetos showed up on my plate this week!  YUMMMY!  The tiredness is helped by scattered naps through the day.  I sometimes almost forget I have cancer.  The tiredness is sort of strange.  I feel weak inside, as if I were boneless, it really is hard to describe the feeling.

One other possible side effect is I am wobbly and dizzy, more so then usual.  This could be from my long standing inner ear problem, heart and blood pressure medicine, the chemo, or all of them. What ever it is, it highly entertains Marty when I walk into a door, bounce off a wall, or grab banisters and furniture in order to stay upright.  He is not entertained when I grab him and nearly pull him down as I start leaning and can't stop. 

I am doing more of the cooking since I am feeling better.  I help with the laundry, I even have been changing the sheets. I admit some things I could do more often, such as dusting and maybe even run the sweeper, but I tell myself I am sick with cancer.  Why should I do things I hate now?  After a couple of days I talk myself into dusting and feel saintly for doing it.

 I feel stronger, but not totally normal.  But I will take it.  Almost normal is great.

A huge amount of pancreatic cancer patients don't make it 6 months after they are diagnosed.  I have passed that 6 months and into my 7th month.  Is it the treatment, was it found earlier than most people's, it is prayers?  I don't know, but I am betting on prayers.

Prayer warriors keep up the good work.

Quick update

As has been said, Chemo is not for wimps.  It is a powerful enemy/ally.  I was bedridden, commode hugging, running down the hall sick.  The  thought of food gagged me, swallowing anything was torture.  I  pushed and ate a little, and then each day I was a little stronger, able to eat a little more.  I had to eat, or chemo would win.  The last couple of days I could eat more calories.  It did not matter what I ate, I  just had to eat.  Milky Ways, M&M's, Hot Chocolate, calories.

This morning I woke up and said pancakes.  Yes, I wanted pancakes and Chef Marty made me bacon and pancakes.  I ate two pieces of bacon and two and a half pancakes.  Also I had a little milk with breakfast.  It was all so good.  I am going to eat lots of calories to try to stop the weight loss.  Never thought I would ever worry about being too skinny. 

Wednesday the chemo begins again.  At least there won't be so many surprises this time.  I have a little idea of what will be thrown at  me. 

Tonight or Monday I will put up Joe's latest post.  It is a good one.  So watch for it.  Joe will keep wedding info coming to us.  

Joe' s wife, Sue, is now on my babysitters' list.  She has sat with me and has offered to drive when needed.  I have such fabulous friends. Keep Joe and Sue in your prayers because I love them and they love me.  And we all need love and prayers.  I pray for all of you out there every night.  You are a huge support for me. 

Pet Scan update etc.

Last Friday I had a Pet Scan.  In a nut shell this was to see if there is a cancer spread, other problem areas in the body, inflammation anywhere.  After a long weekend, today the oncologist called with good news.  It looks like no spread, and no new trouble.  So some happiness in this mess.  Still an inoperable mass.  But we are only dealing with one problem.

Wednesday I have the biopsy and it will take at least 3 days for results to come.  That would be Monday the 13th. 

Monday the 13th  they put in the port for chemo.  Probably the end of that week I will begin Chemo.  We plan to be aggressive in attacking the mass.  I know that also means I will be icky sick through the chemo.  But we are going for more time. 

Your prayers are helping and I feel the caring from so many people that I have never met.  Thank you, and please keep praying.  You are needed.