"One meal won't kill you", so he said

As posted before, do nothing planned.  So Thursday morning we decided to go out to eat and have a belated anniversary dinner.  I wanted something close, free parking, better than average food, good service, and a great view.  I made reservations at Horatio's.   I used Open Table and requested a window table, explaining a belated anniversary and why it was belated.

We arrived and the hostess ignored us!  Finally she noticed us, standing 2 feet from her, and we said we had reservations.  The other hostess came and asked us if we were celebrating something. Did she not read the note from Open Table?  They were not crowded, there were empty window tables, but she headed away from the windows.  I stopped her and explained our request, and the note on Open Table,  Oh, she will see what she can do.  This did not bode well for the rest of the meal.  She did put us at a window table and we had a great server.  Victor made up for the idiots at the hostess stand.

The doctor had told me one meal would not kill me, just don't put "one meal" killers close together. This meal was great, all kinds of evil food I don't get to eat.  Plus I had a glass of Woodford Reserve.  Bourbon sipping is very limited for Warfarin patients.

The happy couple.  Notice only one glass of wine.  No wine for me since I had my shot of Bourbon.

Sunset over Monarch Bay.  The other side of the trees is San Francisco Bay.

Looking to the left at the Marina.

Mussels in a cioppino sauce for Marty.  Which he shared with me.  Yummy, delicious.  The only healthy thing we ate. 

Fried calamari and fried artichokes.  There was an aioli sauce and a Bloody Mary sauce.  I was nice and shared with Marty.

Marty had halibut stuffed with crab.  The dark design is a thickened balsamic vinegar sauce.

My dish is smoked chicken over penne in a butter cream sauce.  Notice the bread, we had already had a wonderful garlic cheese bread with our appetizers.  So yes, lots of bread and pasta.  Killing  myself with a fork.  

Victor surprised us with a creme brulee with whipped cream and fruit.  We ate some, but we were so stuffed we left part of it.  So very good, and so rich and evil.  I loved every bite of that meal.  Trust me I have been very good since then.  

On the way home we took the scenic route around the marina.  This is looking toward San Francisco.

We had a great evening.  We forgot we both are physical messes right now.  We ate well, laughed, enjoyed a lovely time together, we celebrated love.  

And this is how things are going

I saw my primary care physician Friday.  He says basically I have a huge target on my back.  The  least little thing can set off one of my many aliments.  He says I am doing well, and to take things easy.  This week he said nothing planned, that meant no church, school, or marriage factory.  I have been good, slowly walking to regain strength; sleeping when my body tells me to rest; and eating a little more to slow down weight loss.

Also I have done laundry which made me walk up and down steps a lot, cooked, washed dishes, and waited on Marty hand and foot.  Remember Marty has bursitis and it to not walk except when absolutely necessary.  Thank goodness I am now stronger and can help him. 

Marty doesn't mind well, but he is trying to sit and let me take care of him for a change.  I bring water, ice packs, newspapers, mail, and whatever I can carry.  He is so miserable with pain that he can't sleep in the bed and sleeps in the recliner.  He now understands why I love our recliners.  They just wrap around you and support the hurt part of your body.

Every night I tuck him into the recliner.  He has a big down comforter that I wrap around his feet and tuck around his body.  I turn off all the lights in the living room except the one by his chair.  Then I go to bed.  I leave my phone on by the bed so if he needs something he can call me and I can go help him. 

Marty and I laugh and say between us we almost have one working body.  As pitiful as we sound, we are so much better off than many friends and family.  We are treatable, we have good insurance, and we have each other. 

Tonight we are celebrating our 47th anniversary, a week or so late.  We were not well enough on April 8 to be out and about.  Tonight we are going to a lovely place that is on the water.  We hope to have a window table to enjoy the view.  We will eat well, and I may even have a cocktail.  Then we will come home and watch Vampire Diaries. 

How we spent number 45

Yesterday was our 45th wedding anniversary.  It also was Easter.  Marty was Elder and did a great communion meditation.  After church we had brunch at a Mexican restaurant.  As we ate we discussed what we would do to celebrate.  We voted down going out to eat that night.

Through the years we tried going out, but there was always something to stop us:  curfews because of race riots, 6 months pregnant and a broken foot, baby had a reaction to vaccination, small child had bronchitis/pneumonia every April for 7 years, transferred to California and couldn’t afford to go out, family commitments, conflicts with school and jobs, and on and on.

We found out we liked staying home and cooking together.  So yesterday we went shopping.

We bought two Dungeness Crab.

Into the pot to steam.

Ice bath to stop the cooking and get them ready to pick.

While I took a Sunday nap, Marty started picking the crab.  And he took the picture for you all.

                                                      

We are making Crab Cakes and Avocado Salsa.  The shrimp will be chopped up and become the binder in the crab cakes.

As we worked we had some Champagne.

Popping the cork.

                                                                         

Let the celebration begin!

Marty shaping the crab cakes.  This is a very expensive shaper.  It is a can with the ends cut off.  Perfect.

Dinner is served.

                                                                                

A close up of the crab cakes and salsa. 

We had a lovely day together.  Cooking together is one of our favorite things.  Marty made the crab cakes and I made the salsa.   For dessert we had Hershey Kisses.  It seemed appropriate. 

April 8, 1967

I met Marty in early February, 1966.  It was a really interesting blind date.  And after that first date, I didn’t think I would see him ever again.  He said those words that every woman knows is the kiss of death,  “I’ll call you sometime.”  But he did call, and we began to date. 

I was teaching in Kentucky, but I had accepted a job in Florida for the next year.  By April I was terrified Marty would let me take the job.  He was being the good person and letting me decide which job I wanted.  I didn’t give a damn about a job.  I was in love with him and wanted to be where ever he was.  We worked that out and in August he asked me to marry him.  We set the date for April 8, 1967.

It was a lovely wedding.

Marty and me with with my parents, Anna and Papa Jack.

 

Marty and me with his parents, Happy and Dolly.

If you do the math you will come up with 45 years of marriage.  Marriage is a wonderful adventure if you do it right.  To be with someone you love and who loves you is the best.  Not everyone gets that life.  We are very lucky to have each other. 

We work at our marriage, sometimes one is working harder than the other.  Marriage is sometimes a 50 – 50 deal.  Many times it is 99 -  1.  Over 45 years that works out to be even. 

Life is not an easy adventure.  There are illnesses, transfers that are hard and scary, deaths, and just unfair shit goes down.  Being with Marty has made me feel safe, brave, and independent.  I think I have made him laugh and relax in life, I hope I  have allowed him to be what he wants.  I have supported him in all things to the best of my ability.

Neither of us are saints. Well, he might be a saint.  He didn’t kill me as I went through the menopause.  We care for each other, we love each other, and are looking forward to another 40 years or so together.  We come from long lived people.

Happy Anniversary, Marty!  I love you.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Yesterday marked Marty's and my 43rd wedding anniversary. Yes, we are older than dirt. We celebrated with friends at a favorite restaurant, The Terrace Room. The view of Lake Merritt is lovely and the food/service is wonderful.

In those 43 years we have moved 10 times. And I wouldn't be surprised if we moved again. I kind of like moving (except for packing and unpacking), new house, new friends, that is exciting.

Forty Three years is a long time for anything. In this day and age 43 years for a marriage is rare. Most everyone marries madly in love. They think the marriage is for life. So why do so many marriages fail? Who knows why one marriage works and another doesn't. I credit our marriage to a lot of luck, hard work, and that we have rarely been furious with the other at the same time. One of us has been sane and calm while the other has been ballistic. That is where the luck comes in. Thank God we don't go ballastic at the same time.

But we work at the marriage every day. We drive each other crazy at times, but we ignore/forgive those crazy things (agoraphobic issues, stealing the pillows and covers, control issues with the remote, and other petty things). We know it isn't worth the battle. In the long run we love each other. We will forgive and forget the problems. We want to be together. We adore each other in spite of our complete opposite personalities. We will work out the problems.