Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Courtship and wedding with Marty

Today is our 48th Anniversary.  We can't believe it has been that long.  This post will be about our meeting and time around the wedding.

We met on a blind date in February 1966, not the best date I was ever on.  But we clicked and dated every weekend.  Marty was working full time for CHEVRON as a station  manager and finishing night school at the University of Louisville.  I taught first grade in Oldham County, KY.  I have always said we married because it was the only way to have more time together.

Being a man has nothing to do with age, it is what you do and how you react to situations.  I had dated males older than Marty, but they were boys.  Marty was a man.  We had grown up dates: dinner in restaurants with strolling violins, we went dancing, to movies, to the theater, and to church with his Mother.  He always wore a suit and I was dressed to the nines.

I have taken a job in Florida but I no longer wanted to leave Kentucky.  I told Marty I loved him, asked if  he was going to let me move away.  Pretty pushy for 1966.  Luckily he loved me and I backed out of the job.

A couple of weeks before we married I had (the doctors thought) an allergic reaction to the measles shared by one of my students.  I ended up in the hospital for a week.  There was talk that the wedding should be called off.  I said if I had to be pushed down the aisle on a gurney I was getting married.

We married April 8, 1967.  Our Mothers invited every person and relative they knew, over 500 invitations went out.  Maybe between us Marty and I knew 100 of the guests.  The dress rehearsal was a nightmare as the mothers tried to take over.  Manly Marty shut that down and said the non traditional music was our choice and it was our wedding.  We used the wedding march from the Sound of Music and Trumpet Voluntary.  It was wonderful.

But that night I was a wreck.  Marriage is a huge step, You are an adult with no safety net.  I cried all night.  Mother got in bed with me and said, "You don't have to marry that boy.  We will call off the wedding."  This is less that 12 hours before the wedding.  Best Mother ever.  But I wanted to get married, I was just scared. 

That  morning I went to my hair done.  When I got home everyone but one bridesmaid was gone.  They had gone to the wedding without the bride.  They had told my bridesmaid I would drive her to the church.  So we had two cars at the wedding.  Not real sure how my car got back home.

 
You can't even tell I cried all night. 
 
During the ceremony I saw movement up in the balcony.  It was my brother in law running with a fire extinguisher.  One of the candles had fallen and his fireman training kicked in.  All was well.  No fire.   
 
As we came up the aisle, our next door neighbor leaned over to Mother and said, "Poor Marty, he's married a doctor bill." (boy was she right)  Her very young daughter asked in the clear voice children have, (Where is their baby?)  She hadn't had that sex talk yet and thought babies just arrived with the ceremony.
 
Now to our wedding night, not that part.  Because I had been so sick we went back to our apartment.  The honeymoon had been canceled.  Only one person knew where we were, fireman brother in law.  Mother heard Marty's fraternity brothers talking about crashing/trashing our apartment, one had a key.  She found out we were there and was really worried.  So they called us and warned us.
 
My wedding night was spent at Sears buying a dead bolt lock and installing it.  After all that, the guys never showed up.  Thank goodness.
 
Good thing we had canceled the Honeymoon.  We would have been called back for Marty to work. He had graduated from college and was a Sales Rep.  One of his station managers had embezzled from CHEVRON.  Marty spent days straightening out the mess.  This was warning about how CHEVRON I was married to them to.
 
This is just a little that went on during that time.  I was going to write about events over the 48 years.  But this has become too long.  So in later posts I will share.  Hospitals over the years, how we spent anniversaries over the years, shoveling snow, putting in yards, ER runs with our son, and lots more. 
 

 
 


Friday, April 3, 2015

Hope Springs Eternal

Joe has sent us another report on marriages.  He wants you all to have the chance to read it.  Thanks Joe.


Samuel Johnson called second marriages "the triumph of hope over experience", and I think were he to join me for a week of weddings, he'd double down on that. This past week saw several return Marriage Factory customers, including one couple who'd had 5 previous swings and misses between them. If there's one thing marriage teaches, it's that everyone makes mistakes.  Sometimes the marriage is that mistake.

It would seem that being married before affects the chances of success, but luckily, my personal experience belies that. My mother stayed married to my stepfather from 1981 until she passed away. I have relatives and friends in very happy second or even third marriages. I am married to someone who has been married once before. We have been married almost 15 years, so it seems to have taken. Since America is the land of reinvention, why shouldn't that apply to weddings?

Fashion report
It was all about tiger print this week, with one bride in tiger-print heels and another in a tiger-print blouse.  The winner was my final couple, with guests dressed in flowing multicolored saris and the bride in a black gown with gold detailing and beads.

By the numbers
Ceremonies: 10
Formal wear: 8
Couple who had a large crowd at their confidential wedding: 1

--
Joe Mallon

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Weddings: reasons to marry

People get married for many reasons.  We always hope that love is the main reason. Today society accepts living together and lots of people feel no need to marry.  They love each other, so why do they need a legal paper to prove that love?  Well other issues factor in:  medical insurance, hospital rights, just felt like the time to marry, visa running out, pressure from family, tax benefits, and on and on. 

One couple came in to get a birth certificate and said we might as well get married while we are here.  They had been together for several years.  Monday just felt like the right time to marry.

Two women came to be married.  Their 2 sons were with them.  The couple had been together for 14 years.  You could feel the family love, the happiness these four people had built together.  They told me they said to each other, "We can now, so why don't we?  Let's get married."  They also told me how scary and at the same time wonderful to be able to walk in and buy a marriage license.  They felt real for the first time. 

There were other weddings.  And I will post about them later. 

When I married it was for love, it was because I adored (and still do) Marty Appel), and I did not want to think about a life without him.  And in 1967 marriage was the only acceptable way of life. 

Why did you marry, or have you married?  Living together is no big deal in today's world.  Children do not have to be born to a married couple, so there are very few shot gun weddings, although I have done one or two.  Is marriage now just a contract to have legal rights?  Is marriage more than that?

Friday, April 9, 2010

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY

Yesterday marked Marty's and my 43rd wedding anniversary. Yes, we are older than dirt. We celebrated with friends at a favorite restaurant, The Terrace Room. The view of Lake Merritt is lovely and the food/service is wonderful.

In those 43 years we have moved 10 times. And I wouldn't be surprised if we moved again. I kind of like moving (except for packing and unpacking), new house, new friends, that is exciting.

Forty Three years is a long time for anything. In this day and age 43 years for a marriage is rare. Most everyone marries madly in love. They think the marriage is for life. So why do so many marriages fail? Who knows why one marriage works and another doesn't. I credit our marriage to a lot of luck, hard work, and that we have rarely been furious with the other at the same time. One of us has been sane and calm while the other has been ballistic. That is where the luck comes in. Thank God we don't go ballastic at the same time.

But we work at the marriage every day. We drive each other crazy at times, but we ignore/forgive those crazy things (agoraphobic issues, stealing the pillows and covers, control issues with the remote, and other petty things). We know it isn't worth the battle. In the long run we love each other. We will forgive and forget the problems. We want to be together. We adore each other in spite of our complete opposite personalities. We will work out the problems.