Everything is Same Oh Same Oh

Everyday we do pretty much the same thing.  Mornings is bathroom run, vitals recorded, meds taken and then breakfast.  Most things for breakfast taste  good.  I usually have Honey Nut Cheerios but a couple of times a week Marty fixes eggs and bacon with toast. 

Then its back to the recliner to either rest or take a nap if I have had a bad night.  When I wake up its bathroom run and lunch.  Boost Plus is my usual lunch.  Then a little idiot TV and then dinner time.  I am still a little nauseous at times and take a back-up nausea medication for that.

Marty and I are addicted to Jeopardy so that is our entertainment through dinner.  I am still a very picky eater but I am trying to eat.  Marty still keeps trying to find the magic recipe but it seems like each day my tastes change.  Then during clean up time we watch Wheel of Fortune.  Then its back to the recliner.  I have my meds again and vitals check about 9.  Then its bed-time about 11:30. Sleep has changed in the last week.  I was not sleeping well because all of the bloating around the ribs causes pain at night.  To help this they put me back on small doses of Morphine.  That seems to work because I am sleeping during the night now. 

So you see unless I have visitors, every day is about the same as the next day.  Overall the nurse says I am doing really well.  So I am still hanging in there.  We really appreciate the cards, Facebook, out of state phone calls, Skype, texts and email from everyone.  Thanks again for your prayers too.  Strength comes from all of you. 

Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like??

Well its been about 10 days since my last blog and much has happened.  Marty has been decorating for Christmas and preparing for the season.  It's not easy decorating around all of the equipment needed for me.  We've cut back on how we usually decorate.  Most of the stuff is still in boxes.  Christmas is a season of giving and our friends certainly have.  Chef Ben came over last Friday and prepared many meals for us to last a week or so.  He spent about 4 hours here cooking and putting the great food in serving containers so all Marty has to do is microwave it and serve it.  Hank and Thom brought a wonderful raspberry torte.  Mark brought us a Christmas tree and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  Nancy and Lew brought us soups and lasagna.  Janet R sent candy canes and chocolate.  We are set for a few days.  Faithful Kirstin and Pat sat with me while Marty ran some errands.  We have received phone calls from friends across the country which filled our hearts with warmth and love.  Our church friends have been in high gear supporting us with communion and visits. We are in a pretty set routine with hospice and take care of Janet. 

Mr. Morphine has come out of the cabinet.  I have a blood clot in my leg that is extremely painful.  Walking is almost impossible.  I have done a fair share of crying and moaning.  Poor Marty is the one who has to listen to the bitching and moaning.  I know I need to move as much as possible to keep my muscles working. 

There is some humor in our life.  When Kirsten was sitting she drew bathroom duty.  As she was helping me get my underwear up it was not going well and she said "you've got your knickers in a twist".  Neither of us had used that word in a long time and we laughed and laughed.  Laughter is good. 

Today's post may sound down and whiny, but I am not that way very often.  Continued thanks and hugs to my prayer warriors.  We have been in this a long time. 

Bad Health News

In the past 6 weeks I have had constant back/rib, nausea pain, unwanted weight loss.  Tests have been run and the results suck.  I have a mass on my pancreas.  They can not operate because it is wrapped around blood vessels.  Right now I am going through some yucky tests to determine the spread, if cancer, what type. There is very little hope with pancreatic cancer.

Kaiser has been great.  They are getting all the information needed to help me through this and to keep me comfortable.  I am on nausea medication and Mr. Morphine for pain.  I also will be taking a marijuana drug to help my appetite.  Soon I will go to my local dispensary and get a medical marijuana card.  No standing on the street corner in California looking to score.  The marijuana will help with nausea, lack of appetite.  We can buy oils, cookies, make brownies, what ever I need to be comfortable.

Marty and I need prayers.  This is bad for the patient and for the caregiver.  Please share this blog with everyone.  Prayer works, and all religions welcome.

My close friends are circling the wagons.  They have already started driving me for blood work, to book group, etc.  Because of the morphine I can no longer drive.  Also Mr. Morphine makes me just a little slow reacting.  Brain thinks it and mouth goes Whaaaat?  I noticed I type and whole words are left out.

I will post as able.  I am begging Joe to post about weddings.  Not sure if I can keep marrying if in chemo.  When in chemo, they sometimes restrict contact with people. We are living day to day.  

There are a few upsides.  The only foods I am able to eat in a real size servings are lobster and filet mignon.  Marty is suspicious, lobster? Also if we do chemo, no longer shaving my legs.  We also will save money on hair cuts.

Yes, I will go down cracking awful jokes.  In my family you have to laugh to stand life.