Its Beginning to Look a Lot Like??

Well its been about 10 days since my last blog and much has happened.  Marty has been decorating for Christmas and preparing for the season.  It's not easy decorating around all of the equipment needed for me.  We've cut back on how we usually decorate.  Most of the stuff is still in boxes.  Christmas is a season of giving and our friends certainly have.  Chef Ben came over last Friday and prepared many meals for us to last a week or so.  He spent about 4 hours here cooking and putting the great food in serving containers so all Marty has to do is microwave it and serve it.  Hank and Thom brought a wonderful raspberry torte.  Mark brought us a Christmas tree and Krispy Kreme doughnuts.  Nancy and Lew brought us soups and lasagna.  Janet R sent candy canes and chocolate.  We are set for a few days.  Faithful Kirstin and Pat sat with me while Marty ran some errands.  We have received phone calls from friends across the country which filled our hearts with warmth and love.  Our church friends have been in high gear supporting us with communion and visits. We are in a pretty set routine with hospice and take care of Janet. 

Mr. Morphine has come out of the cabinet.  I have a blood clot in my leg that is extremely painful.  Walking is almost impossible.  I have done a fair share of crying and moaning.  Poor Marty is the one who has to listen to the bitching and moaning.  I know I need to move as much as possible to keep my muscles working. 

There is some humor in our life.  When Kirsten was sitting she drew bathroom duty.  As she was helping me get my underwear up it was not going well and she said "you've got your knickers in a twist".  Neither of us had used that word in a long time and we laughed and laughed.  Laughter is good. 

Today's post may sound down and whiny, but I am not that way very often.  Continued thanks and hugs to my prayer warriors.  We have been in this a long time. 

This was great for me, probably will bore all of you

Friday night we went out eat in Indiana,  just across the Ohio River from Louisville.

 

Not a bad view of Louisville 



Saturday we had a wonderful day.  We gathered friends and family from all walks of our life.  No we couldn't have everyone we wanted.  But we did get most of our family together. I have pictures of my family.  Marty hasn't shared his pictures of  his family yet.  So maybe later I can get those posted.

I as always have lots and lots of pictures.  I am going to put up way more than you'll want to see.  But this post is for me.  This is for me to remember that special day.  Feel free to skip through it.

 

 

The party has begun.  Marty, nephew A.J., me, and Holly.  This was the room with the champagne punch and the ginger ale punch.  Guess which one I drank.

 

 

Dining room table with some of our "light" hors d'oeuvres

 

 

Ann ordered a chocolate cake with butter cream icing.  I cut the first piece, a corner piece. This icing was wonderful, rich and gooey.

 

 

Little Brother and his pal Louie

 

 

No Belinda and I are not sitting down.  Kiel is my tallest nephew, 7 foot.   He just signed a contract to play pro basketball.  Belinda was excited to meet him.  She had had college classes with his father, who also played pro ball. 

 

 

Friends Marty grew up with.  Left to right, me, Ronald, Beverly, Billy, Marty

 

 

Friends I grew up with.  Left to right, Joyce, Wanda, me, Peggy.  Joyce and Wanda drove several hours to come visit me. Peggy lived within an hour or so from Louisville.  They are part of my Corbin Prayer Warriors. 

 

Below are several pictures of my side of the family.  We had nieces, nephews, spouses, great nephews, great nieces, Papa Jack and Yolanda, partners, and Friend Mark.  Did I forget anyone?  Oh Marty was there too.  Love my crazy loud family.

 



 

We laughed, told tall tales of family happenings. We told tales of my late sister, Maryann. Story were told that were new to some of the family.  Like one person had eloped and her children didn't know that.  It was such a wonderful day. 

 

Sunday we were again doing a family tradition.  Church and then out to breakfast at The Big Boy.  After breakfast we had to take pictures, lots of pictures.  And where did we take them?  In front of the Boy of course.

 

This should have been a video.  Getting this group together was like herding cats. 

 

 

 

This is all without me.

 

 

One of the waitresses came out and took a picture of all of us with me. 

 

The last few days have been a huge love fest for me to them, and them to me.  I do love these wonderful crazy fun people.  Hope you got through most of the pictures.  You can see how happy we all are.  

 

If I can get Marty and Mark to send me the pictures they took, I will post them and bore you all some more. Two more days and we go home.  Then we will be back to health updates.  Not as much fun but just as important.  Much love to all my friends, family, and Prayer Warriors.







No chemo this week

Monday I  had lab work.  I always get the results almost before we get home.  I check the platelets because if they are low, no chemo.  The other tests, and there a lot of them, I don't understand or don't think they are a huge factor in whether I take chemo.  Well that afternoon the nurse called me and said no chemo this week.  My white blood cells are too low.  I do know that one.  In the past they have given me shots to improve the white cells and talked about blood transfusions.  So this became an off week.

We are to leave Tuesday for Louisville and I was afraid they would want me to stay home.  Would they change my August schedule? Would I have to do chemo on my planned off week? The trip was planned around my off week and when Mark (our giver of frequent flyer miles) could take vacation with us.  I still get my off week.  Tuesday I will have chemo if all is well, and we take a redeye that night. 

When I asked the nurse if this would mess up our planned vacation, she said, "again a trip?"  ( yes this will be our third trip this summer:  Dallas, San Diego, and now Louisville)  I told her I have a limited time I will be able to travel and I have family and friends to visit. 

The rest of the week I did normal things.  I cooked more than usual and when I didn't cook I did the dishes.  I walked 30  minutes every day.  Wednesday afternoon Erik, our son, came to visit and to help out with domestic duties.  I had broken beans the day before and put them on to cook and fixed a chuck roast in the crock pot.  We all agreed it was a fabulous meal.  Nothing better than fresh green beans cooked low and slow, with just a little bacon grease and other Southern secret ingredients.

Friday I went to brunch with Kirsten and later Pat joined us at my home.  We had a gab fest and caught up on what each was doing. I am so lucky to have these ladies in my life.  

I have lots of friends that check on me, visit me, Facebook me, call me.  Another dear friend, Janet R (so you know it isn't me, they call me Janet A) texts or emails me nearly every day.  Janet R checks what is going on, how am I doing, am I happy, do I need anything.  We ask Janet R to join us, but since she owns a business, she can't get away often.  So we don't see her much. 

Today, Sunday, I went to church.  That is a big deal.  It is a 35-40 minute drive.  I have to be up and dressed earlier than usual.  Meds must be taken early. And there is the emotion of the love I feel from my church family.  When we get in the car to drive home I am pretty well whipped.  But it is worth being tired. 

So normal is good.  I felt good most of the week, not as tired, and very little nausea.  I am not sleeping very well, but I blame the bed hog I live with.  I love Marty so much, but this week he has royally ticked me off.  He is sleeping on a diagonal, that would be with his head on MY PILLOW.  He also stole the prop my arm up pillow.  He took all the covers, and then complained how hot he was during the night. My complaining about him is an indicator I am feeling better.  For some reason when I feel better I feel justified in being ticked at the best caregiver ever.

Keep your fingers crossed that I can take chemo on Tuesday.  I get scared when chemo is put off.  I am afraid the tumor will get ahead of us.  So never ever do I want to miss a session. 

A Team Brunch

The A Team is a group of friends who have become family.  We were neighbors and realized we all loved food, we loved to cook, we loved to be with each other. We get together and eat luscious food. We have highly planned pot lucks.  We also love deep down in our hearts to blow away the others with our cooking magic.  Not that we are competitive or anything.

Saturday we had brunch at our apartment.  Two months ago we said we will host in October.  As you all know, all I have done lately is plan doctor visits.  The brunch happened, it was spectacular, we planned it out and I gave up some of the finer entertaining rules in my head.  We planned our part of the meal to be something that we could prep the night before.  The brunch was all about being together.

Many, many pictures below of the prep and the party.

Marty and I made a Crab and Shrimp Tower with a citrus vinaigrette.  We used the black pipe to shape the tower.

Marty lined the pipe with foil and then layered the food.  Then the pipe was lifted off and the foil supported the tower until it was served.

Hank setting out the appetizers.  We had stinky French cheese, soft French cheese, wonderful charcuterie, and meat balls, 

Hank and Thom went all out.  We also had deviled eggs, veggies and dips, and mozzarella, basil and cherry tomatoes on a skewer.  I think they were afraid I would be too tired to prepare a main course.

We call this our Boudoir Dining Room.  The bedroom is huge and the only place to set up a table for 6 or more people.  

This is a long shot of the table.

The tower shot from the top.  I should have done a side shot.  The tower was lettuce, heirloom cherry tomatoes, shrimp, dungeness crab, carrots, and a crab claw.  We poured the vinaigrette around the tower.  There were sliced mangoes and avocados beside the tower.

The table is ready for our guests.  But first, just one more picture.

Nancy and Lew made an apple crisp for dessert.  The warm crisp was on vanilla ice cream, raisins, other wonderful rich goodness.

The A Team!  From left to right:  Janet, Marty, Nancy, Lew, Hank, and Thom.

Marty and me enjoying a little Bubbly.

The best part of this wonderful meal was I was able to eat.  The nausea pills work, Mr. Morphine worked, and everyone brought rich tasty food that appealed to my out of whack taste buds.  

It was a great day.  We laughed, we cried, we remembered other events.  And we planned the next event in November when our A Team Texas couple will be able to join us.  

Drama and Friends

Saturday Marty and I had plans.  We were having the carpet cleaned.  Saturday morning we would have to move furniture, get breakables in a safe spot, move a lot of plants.  Not huge but stuff to do.  Friday night I went into A-Fib again.  It was close to bedtime and I went to bed thinking in the morning the heart would have settled down.  Nope, didn't happen.  Still vibrating and very dizzy.

Again the call to the Kaiser Advice Nurse and Doctor. Again they said to come in now.  No problem, except we were close to the window of the carpet cleaners arriving.  I told Marty to just drop me off and I would call when they released me.  He didn't go for that.  He came in, made sure I was going to be kept and not in danger, and then left.  I received the usual excellent care from the ED staff.  And had to have all the same tests run that had been run last week.  After several hours I was to be discharged. 

Now how to get home.  The carpet cleaners are at the house so Marty can't leave.  I am too tight to call a taxi for a 7 minute ride. Plus I needed to pick up prescriptions and I needed someone to help me.  I was too tired to handle anything.  So I called friend Kirsten. She had Facebooked me to call if we needed help.  She lives less than 10 minutes from me and maybe wasn't tied up with her son's activities.  She said she would be there as soon as possible.

A tech wheeled me down to the pharmacy to get  my new prescriptions.  Kirsten was waiting there for me.  She went up to get my meds and they said, so sorry we don't have drug X.  (this is the drug Marty tried to pick up earlier this week and they didn't fill the correct drug.  I have since ordered it on line but it hasn't arrived yet.)  They could order it and I could come back in a couple of days. Or we could drive to Kaiser Oakland and maybe they would have the drug.  My powerful friend, Kirsten, explained to them I had to have the drug or I would have to stay in the hospital.  She said they needed to pull the drug from the supply the hospital staff  uses.  And they did.  Not a full prescription, but hopefully enough until the rest arrives by mail.  Then Kirsten drove me home.

We all have friends at different levels.  Some care about us, but we don't socialize much. Some are just party friends. Some we see rarely but they are close like family, some are there always when you need help.  Kirsten is one of my friends who is there for me always, emotionally and physically.  If she can't do it she will send her husband or a mutual friend.  She isn't my only friend I could have called, but she was the one I called Saturday.  She handled everything that I couldn't deal with.  She took me home, walked me up the stairs and handed me off to Marty.  Love you Kirsten!

A friend passed away this morning.

A long time friend died today.  I have known Ann Riley and her family since the late 1960's.  Her husband Mike worked with Marty and we moved around CHEVRON together.  Three families moved within a few months of each other, often to the same territory.   We noticed a pattern, if one of us fenced, carpeted, or planted a tree, we were all moved. 

We tried to see Ann and her family whenever we went back to Kentucky.  But time crunch and family duties kept us apart most trips.  With Facebook we could stay in touch a little bit.

Ann was a special lady.  If she liked you she would do anything for you.  If she didn't like you she still was a lady and was nice to you.  She was a Kentucky Southern Belle, whose accent out did mine.  She also could teach a sailor how to cuss.

When we all came to California in the 70's we clung to each other as family.  None of us thought we would ever be transferred across the Mississippi.  We were so far from home and so different from our neighbors.  Southern folks are pretty formal when they entertain. We had sterling silver dip bowls.  Neighbors were more causal and put the dip out in the containers.  Ann loosened us up and helped us blend in.

I asked Marty his favorite memory of Ann.  And he said all the times we got together.  And he was the one who remembered her cussing abilities.

One of my favorite memories is of a cookout at their home.  The women were in the house, (AC was on, it was a very hot day) and the phone rang.  It was an obscene phone call.  Ann thought it was one of the husbands on the neighbor's phone and every thing the caller said, Ann topped him with something worse.  The caller hung up on her.  It wasn't one of our husbands. 

She and her family (children included) helped us paint the outside of our house.  Her husband and mine never got a spot of paint on them.  Very neat men.  Ann and I fixed that.  The men were on the ladders painting high up, so we painted their legs.  They won though, they painted our faces.  Good times. 

When we transferred back to Louisville, the Rileys were already there.  Ann knew the best resell neighborhoods (corporate gypsies' first item, will it sell in a heart beat) and rode with me and the Realtor.  She helped me find a home that would resell, in a good school district, and would fit in our life style.  And when the movers showed up and I was losing my mind with the help from my aunt, my mother, and Marty's mother, she took over.  She called Marty and told him to come home before the two of us were arrested for murder.  He did.

Ann, we moved each other in and out of homes over the years.  We protected our husbands from their jealous rude co workers.  We laughed and we cried together.  We were friends. 

Babysitters!

At my age needing a babysitter is ridiculous.  I am an independent senior citizen.  I do not need in home care.  Did you all buy that?  Yes there are days I should not be left alone.  My puny fainty days I do need a little help. 

As I last posted, Marty wanted me to have a babysitter while he had to lead a seminar.  As the day wore on, I was not getting much better.  He, and I, were afraid I would stand up and pass out.  So a call went out to friends, could someone come in a couple of hours and stay for 3 or 4 hours?  One dear friend, Pat, said she could almost make the window and had it covered.  She texted her son, Aaron, and he rode public transportation from San Francisco to get to me.  

Now if I ever have to walk down a dark scary alley, Aaron is who I would want to have my back.  He is street smart and intimidating.  The guy is 6 foot 9 inches tall.  But is he the person to help me out of the chair, walk me to the bathroom, recognize I was too tired to talk, and to be ready in an emergency.  Remember we had no car.  Yes, Aaron is a great babysitter.

Aaron had a plan.  If I needed medical help he would not let them take me to the bad Hospital that is closing in June.  He would text for an Uber car and take me to Oakland Kaiser.  He watched me like a hawk, followed me down the hall, sat quietly and let me rest.  And it gets better.

Mom Pat arrives and she and Aaron start planning supper.  Did I mention he is a culinary student?  The two of them pulled everything out of my refrigerator, threw out stuff I have been too sick to deal with, and started fixing roasted veggies and salad for dinner.  They did a compromise on the entrée.  When I mentioned wet burritos at Ana Rosa's across the street, the game plan changed.  Pat kept doing her thing and Aaron walked across to get our entrees. 

I wasn't real hungry but did damage to the veggies and the wet burrito.  They then cleaned the kitchen and walked me back to the living room.  I was better and we watched some Jeopardy yelling out our answers, talked, and laughed.  Bathroom breaks, I had both walking me down the hall.  Very protective of me, very kind to me.

I am very very lucky in my friends.  Other friends have offered to shop for us, run errands for us, have offered to bring meals.  Thank you all for the support.  And big hugs to my babysitters.  Much love.

Great Excitement

Monday, tomorrow, we are going back to Northern California!  Yes, there is excitement.  And there is a little fear.  We have to find an apartment/condo/duplex/whatever to live in.  There is not much in our price range in the rental market.  So I am afraid we will be living in a pup tent in the next county.

The first couple of weeks or so we are back we are staying with a friend in Alameda.  We will use her as a fine hotel and do our search.  Then the later part of December we will house sit for a friend in Concord.  She is having knee surgery and then will be in a rehab center.  She has had us "house sit" before.  When we moved in 2003 and couldn't get into our house for a couple of weeks, she took a trip and turned her condo over to us.

We are blessed with generous friends taking care of us. 

I will let you know how the search goes.  Keep your fingers crossed for us. 

Still Packing and Packing

Friend Pat has been helping me pack up the house.  Today was her third day here.  She is either a great friend, or totally nuts.  Maybe a little of both.  Pat keeps me on track. I have had a lot of trouble staying focused.  She keeps reminding me to get the tape gun, get the step stool, write down the box number and contents . . .

Pat loves empty shelves.  She throws open cabinet and closet doors and says, "What can I pack in here?  Do you really need all these glasses?  Let's pack these up, you and Marty just need one glass each.  Are you throwing a dinner party?  Get that china in the box." 

Today we packed 9 big plastic containers, and several book boxes and medium boxes.  We also sorted through the cedar chest.  It held 45 years of tablecloths, place mats, and napkins.  I did manage to get rid of some them. And then I found them. Things from Erik's childhood: baby book, little silver comb and brush, a silver rattle, silver diaper pins, part of his blankie, and his Robin costume that Granny made him.  Yes, I cried.  Then we laughed, who but a Southern Belle has sterling diaper pins?

Pat is coming back Monday to work with Kirsten and me on more packing.  I think she will be disappointed if friend Lisa (coming Saturday) and I get everything packed up.  I don't think there is any danger of that. Marty has to make some decisions tonight on many things.  Do we donate, throw it away, or pack it? Even if he throws stuff away, there is a lot we will still keep .  Lisa and I will be packing tomorrow. 

Monday, Kirsten, Pat, and I will still be packing.  We have stuff.

August 24 is getting closer and closer

Moving is awful.  It is emotional.  It is way too physical.  It hurts on every level. But our friends are taking care of us.

Our house closes on August 24.  That means we have to be out on the 23rd. We have so much stuff. We have cleaned out each of the last 2 moves and now this one.  Where did this stuff come from?  Does it breed in the storage under the house?

OR maybe neighbors put stuff under our house.  We keep finding things we have never owned.  For example: a camping stool, we do not camp, we hotel;  three portable picnic tables, they fold up like card tables; a fireman's ax; a huge suitcase; yard tools. Where did this all come from?

Today was our free bulk pick up.  We had so much stuff up on the parking pad.  I was afraid they wouldn't take it.  Waste Management is picky about what they will take.  We heard the truck stop and we jumped out of bed, lowered the shade, and watched them load the trucks.  Would they take it all?  Please take it all!  Yes, everything was legal!  The parking pad again has cars on it. 

We spent the weekend packing.  Marty borrowed Big Blue, a huge huge pick up, from friends Frank and Janet.  Marty moved boxes to the storage unit.  Friend Pat helped me sort through Christmas ornaments and decorations.  She would unpack it, I would then decide if it needed to be thrown away, go to consignment, or keep.  The decision to keep was easy.  If I cried, she re wrapped it and put it in the keep box.

Then we moved on to wine glasses.  Three boxes later, not done with wine glasses.  She is taking me to lunch today, and then back here and packing more wine glasses.

Marty and I took 9 boxes of ornaments and decorations to the consignment shop.  They do not accept Christmas items until September.  I had said I would bring the items in the first week of September.  Well the house sold so quickly, we couldn't wait until September.  The owner very graciously broke her rule to help us out. 

People have been so kind helping us.  Having us to dinner. Friends are great.

Guest Blogger Joe and his wife took us to dinner Saturday.  Fabulous food.

Our son has set up and torn down two yards sales. He chatted up the customers.  He worked like a dog.  He is coming Saturday to move furniture.

Paul has packed art glass and going to store it for us too.  Plus when the kitchen is packed up this weekend we will stay at his house. 

Pat I have mentioned above.  She is great on stopping me from going in circles. I just get over whelmed. 

Kirsten sends love and hugs from work or  England even Wine Country, drops by to give hugs, and will be packing Monday.  She, Karl, Frank, and Janet are having us to dinner Monday night. We will take Big Blue back but will borrow it again from Frank and Janet.

Yesterday four of the clerks at the Marriage Factory took me to lunch.  We had a great time.  They are so worried I am not coming back from San Diego.  They worry and then one of them cried.  So I cried too.

Saturday night we are going to Ben and Dan's for dinner. 

The love and help has been so touching.  Lots of email, Facebook love.

FRIENDS

I had a lovely lunch with Kirsten today. She is a college professor. She also is a lovely young wife/mother, highly intelligent, and funny as hell. I am old enough to be her mother. But we are friends in the truest way.

I thought about friendship as I was cleaning windows this afternoon. Hey, I do domestic stuff sometimes. I have waited for the window washing fairy to show for months. She is so lazy she skipped our house. So I cleaned windows in two rooms ( that would be the back of the house, all big windows ) and thought deep thoughts as I worked.

Friends not acquaintances but friends, why do you click? They say if you have one true friend in your life you are lucky. Why does this young woman like me? Why do I like her? She is so highly educated, knows stuff I will never know, nor have the vocabulary to understand. I love her energy; I love to hear her passion for her field of literature; and I love hearing about her everyday life. The first time we met, we knew we needed to get to know each other. A blessing.

I have been blessed with many friends. These are not talk on the phone everyday, go to lunch every week, these are caring, be there when needed friends. I may not see them often, some live thousands of miles away, but they are friends.

One dear friend gave me such a wonderful gift years ago. It was an awful time in our life. We were downsizing, leaving the perfect dream house, before we had to. We saw the stock market tanking and knew it was downsize or die at 65. That wasn't an option. My friend Janet brought wine and sat and cried with me for an afternoon. That is a friend.

Our special group of eight friends began as a cooking group. We now are as close as family. We call ourselves THE A TEAM. We are obnoxious when we are together. We are loud, loud, and louder. We cook, eat, drink, and laugh. And wonderful Thom takes hundreds of pictures for memories. We live less than 10 minutes apart.(except for the couple who accepted a transfer and left us) But we remaining six see each other maybe once a quarter. We are all busy and email to keep in touch. The eight of us have been through death, loss of income, job changes, scary health issues, a transfer out of state, and I married the deeply in love Hank and Thom. These are friends who we love and they are open with their love for us. We are there when needed. We are there to have food with. We are there. The couple who moved away is sorely missed. And we keep in touch with phone calls and emails. And blessings of all blessings they will be here Sunday to visit us and other friends. The A TEAM can hardly wait for them.


Why do we do things for some people that we would refuse others? We used to drive from Oakland to San Francisco to feed and walk our friends' dog. They didn't trust anyone else to care for him. I would sit in the car and go why are we doing this? Are we nuts? We left our dog alone to go take care of their dog. Of course we did that, they are our friends. I loved my dog, I totally understood them not trusting others to care for Benito. But on the balance scale of friendship they win. When we did our remodel from hell, they offered their second home( 15 minutes from our home) rent free. We lived there for nearly 6 months. We could not have paid rent and our mortgage for that long. That was a gift.

Sometimes group friends are the best. I belong to a book club. We bicker, we totally disagree sometimes on whether the book is good or not, we offer reasons for the book being boring to me exciting to someone else. But it is just discussion. We are a tight group. If there is trouble, we are there for each other. I have had some health issues over the years and they were a support group. Last winter I was sent to a surgeon with a cancer scare. The group was on the phone with me planning who would be taking me to the doctor, giving me advice, who would be there to hold my hand if my husband couldn't go with me. Thankfully, I didn't need the help, it was a false alarm. But they were there.

These are some of my friends. I am so lucky. Friends, a gift from God. Friends, what makes life worth living. Friends, so many types, so many wonderful people. Thank you dear friends, mentioned and unmentioned.