Clerk F brought me the license. I checked it over and found what I thought might be an error. The bride's name was Mary Worth. Her mother's maiden name was Sally Forth, her dad's name was Rex Morgan. The bride had been married before and on the line for name at birth if different, it was blank. I looked at the names of her mom and dad and her name, it didn't add up. I was 99% sure Worth was not her birth name. Now she could have been adopted and they kept her birth name but I doubted it. I had to check it in case we needed to correct the license.
I went out to talk to to the couple. The couple was Japanese and the groom did all the talking while she looked to him for a translation. That is never a good sign. I told the groom he mustn't talk, she had to answer my questions. I asked her what was her birth name, blank stare. What was your name before you married? Is Worth your married name? No answer and then very broken English that I could not understand. I asked if she could understand what I was saying, blank stare. The groom says she has a problem with English. He said Worth was not her birth name. I told him we had to correct the license. Then I explained if she could not understand me I legally could not marry them. I told him it was for her protection.
I talked to F and she was bent out of joint. She didn't want to correct the license, and the bride spoke English. We have no Japanese translator so we would have to credit their credit cards. Not a happy clerk. I went to get the lead clerk Y to do the refund.
About 5 minutes later Y says, "She speaks pretty good English and if you aren't comfortable doing the ceremony someone else will do it." I agreed to do the ceremony, not understanding why the groom said she had a problem with English.
The bride and groom explained they only speak Japanese at home and it takes a while to totally switch to English. The bride said she just got nervous and couldn't think of any words. We laughed and I tried to make them comfortable. They both relaxed and I did the marriage ceremony. The groom asked if we really have men bring in non English speaking brides and we have to refuse to do the ceremony. Yes, yes we do. More than you would think.
I think the bride thought I was going to make her take an English test before they could marry. I feel bad that I might have scared her. I thought I was being nice and professional. Maybe I need to work on professional being a little softer.
Showing posts with label non English speaking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label non English speaking. Show all posts
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Thursday, April 22, 2010
WEDDINGS MONDAY AND WEDNESDAY
On this date in 1970, the first Earth Day is celebrated.
This was another slow week for performing wedding ceremonies. But the Clerk from Hell (CFH)spiced it up. On Monday she gave me a license and said, "Good Luck with this one". I told her she couldn't say that and leave, what's wrong. Now this is not racist, this is to clarify her right to slam this couple. I can call people white trash because I am Southern and know how to use the term. The CFH is African American and she said the couple were "ghetto". I said, "What do you mean by that?" She described them as loud, rude, and crude. Bless her heart she was right. In the elevator the groom was patting the bride's pregnant tummy as she was yelling at him. Alot of yelling going on. Then he pulled up his shirt (visualize the below the hips pants he wore), slapped his stomach, and said, "I'm pregnant". It was a stomach turning sight. And they continued to yell and curse and just really make me rush through the ceremony. Very unpleasant.
The second couple was adorable. They were from Slovakia. They were worried about their English. After talking to them I told them their English was better than mine and not to worry.
Wednesday I nearly walked out in the first 10 minutes I was there. When I arrived there was a license on the desk. I was not due to work for 25 minutes and the other volunteer was doing a wedding. So the room is in use and I couldn't marry them then anyway. I proofed the license for her but when I show up, she is done. So I was to do the ceremony. There was an error on the license, so back to the CFH to fix it. She said she would fix it later . . . and I better get the couple upstairs and married right now. They had been waiting too long. Consider folks, I had just walked in the door, not due to work for 20 minutes. And the bitch is yelling at me. Not good to yell at a volunteer. But I am a trooper and love this gig, so I sucked it up and went with the flow.
Sounded good didn't it? Well, first I explained to her I had just arrived and it wasn't my problem things were backed up. Then I mellowed out and went with the flow.
The second couple had lots of people with them. I asked is everyone here? Yes, we are ready. As we get on the elevator the bride is on the phone and I hear her yell, "Hesperian! Well, we are going up now and you might as well just go back home!" (Hesperain Blvd is several towns south of the County Building. Wednesday was a stormy day and traffic was a mess everywhere.) The groom grabbed the phone and started talking to the person, who turned out to be the bride's mother. The bride falls apart. I got everyone back in the lobby and started calming the bride down. I told her we could wait, there was plenty of time for her mother to get there before we closed. Everyone is happy, I go back to my desk and then the groom asks for me. Her father has to leave for dialysis, we are going to do the wedding with out the mother. Then the father says no, he can wait another day. Back to my desk. Finally mother arrives and we do the wedding.
The last couple of the day are from India. I talk to them and the groom does most of the talking and the bride speaks a little bit, and nods and smiles. Do you see this coming? I begin the ceremony, the bride says I do, and then to the vows. She can't even repeat them. I stop the wedding and ask the groom if he forgot to tell me his bride doesn't speak English? He says, "Is that a problem?" The top of my head blew off.
I tried to see if she understands but doesn't speak English. Everytime I asked her something one of the guests started answering for her. I told them to sit down and let me talk to her. I told them if I felt she didn't know what was going on, I legally could not do the wedding. They sat. Turns out she understood some English, spoke very very little. I told the groom to translate every word I said and began the ceremony from the top.
Why do people think the non English speaking person does not need to understand what is going on? I never want to insult people by asking if they speak English. But everytime I wonder if I should but I don't, it blows up in my face.
This was another slow week for performing wedding ceremonies. But the Clerk from Hell (CFH)spiced it up. On Monday she gave me a license and said, "Good Luck with this one". I told her she couldn't say that and leave, what's wrong. Now this is not racist, this is to clarify her right to slam this couple. I can call people white trash because I am Southern and know how to use the term. The CFH is African American and she said the couple were "ghetto". I said, "What do you mean by that?" She described them as loud, rude, and crude. Bless her heart she was right. In the elevator the groom was patting the bride's pregnant tummy as she was yelling at him. Alot of yelling going on. Then he pulled up his shirt (visualize the below the hips pants he wore), slapped his stomach, and said, "I'm pregnant". It was a stomach turning sight. And they continued to yell and curse and just really make me rush through the ceremony. Very unpleasant.
The second couple was adorable. They were from Slovakia. They were worried about their English. After talking to them I told them their English was better than mine and not to worry.
Wednesday I nearly walked out in the first 10 minutes I was there. When I arrived there was a license on the desk. I was not due to work for 25 minutes and the other volunteer was doing a wedding. So the room is in use and I couldn't marry them then anyway. I proofed the license for her but when I show up, she is done. So I was to do the ceremony. There was an error on the license, so back to the CFH to fix it. She said she would fix it later . . . and I better get the couple upstairs and married right now. They had been waiting too long. Consider folks, I had just walked in the door, not due to work for 20 minutes. And the bitch is yelling at me. Not good to yell at a volunteer. But I am a trooper and love this gig, so I sucked it up and went with the flow.
Sounded good didn't it? Well, first I explained to her I had just arrived and it wasn't my problem things were backed up. Then I mellowed out and went with the flow.
The second couple had lots of people with them. I asked is everyone here? Yes, we are ready. As we get on the elevator the bride is on the phone and I hear her yell, "Hesperian! Well, we are going up now and you might as well just go back home!" (Hesperain Blvd is several towns south of the County Building. Wednesday was a stormy day and traffic was a mess everywhere.) The groom grabbed the phone and started talking to the person, who turned out to be the bride's mother. The bride falls apart. I got everyone back in the lobby and started calming the bride down. I told her we could wait, there was plenty of time for her mother to get there before we closed. Everyone is happy, I go back to my desk and then the groom asks for me. Her father has to leave for dialysis, we are going to do the wedding with out the mother. Then the father says no, he can wait another day. Back to my desk. Finally mother arrives and we do the wedding.
The last couple of the day are from India. I talk to them and the groom does most of the talking and the bride speaks a little bit, and nods and smiles. Do you see this coming? I begin the ceremony, the bride says I do, and then to the vows. She can't even repeat them. I stop the wedding and ask the groom if he forgot to tell me his bride doesn't speak English? He says, "Is that a problem?" The top of my head blew off.
I tried to see if she understands but doesn't speak English. Everytime I asked her something one of the guests started answering for her. I told them to sit down and let me talk to her. I told them if I felt she didn't know what was going on, I legally could not do the wedding. They sat. Turns out she understood some English, spoke very very little. I told the groom to translate every word I said and began the ceremony from the top.
Why do people think the non English speaking person does not need to understand what is going on? I never want to insult people by asking if they speak English. But everytime I wonder if I should but I don't, it blows up in my face.
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