I Have No Endings

Friday, October 31, 2014

Why I Wear a Bow Tie



Joe all ready to perform a marriage ceremony.  

The Supreme Court recently declined to hear protests against the overturning of several same-sex marriage bans, instantly legalizing same-sex marriage in enough places that over half the US population could be guests at a same-sex marriage in their home states.  Well, Miss Janet was into marrying those couples long before it was popular everywhere.

I started at the Marriage Factory at her behest the day same-sex marriage was legalized in California - in 2008.  My first wedding joined a pair of women.  Proposition 8 was heavy blow to me.  I took it very personally, despite being in no way personally affected.  The wait for that same court's Prop 8 & DOMA rulings last year was long.

While waiting for all that hash to get settled, Jesse Tyler Ferguson of Modern Family started a website called Tie the Knot (tietheknot.org) that offers stylish bow ties through The Tie Bar (thetiebar.com), with most of the proceeds going to marriage equality organizations.

I dress rather formally when I go to the Marriage Factory.  If I dressed the way I do to go to work, couples would be getting married by a guy in a polo shirt & jeans - hardly "most important day"-worthy.  My wife thought I'd look good sporting one of the aforementioned bow ties, and bought one for me last year, before the court's decision.  I wore it the first day I married same-sex couples, and for weeks after.  After a while, I surrendered to routine and stopped wearing the tie.  It's hard to tie one well, and not every shirt looks good with a bow tie.

Earlier this month, she bought me the George Takei tie (http://www.thetiebar.com/product/BT044). George is not only Lieutenant Sulu, he is a gay rights icon.  I think it looks more like Eddie Van Halen's guitar from the "Jump" video (http://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/evh_van_halen.jpg) than anything to do with Star Trek, but I wear it with pride.  Pride in a job well done.



Joe standing by for the next couple to marry.
--
Joe Mallon
j


Janet A at 4:27 AM
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1 comment:

  1. Pat MachollOctober 31, 2014 at 9:51 AM

    What a handsome devil! We always knew that under the polo shirt'n'jeans, but you clean up and dress up so nicely!

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Janet A
I am a retired teacher who volunteers in an Oakland first grade classroom. I also volunteer as a Deputy Marriage Commissioner. I performed the first same sex marriage in Alameda County. I've been married over 47 years. We have lived in Oakland since 2000. In January of 2013, we moved to San Leandro, a little town next to Oakland. I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer in October 2014 and have been undergoing chemo treatment since then. My blogs since then have been about the treatment I have been receiving. Needless to say I had to retire from my marrying activities and my school activities with the first graders. Looks like there is going to be an ending after all.
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