Everyone here, Lost Grooms, Rude guests

Place: Marriage Factory lobby
Question:  Is everyone here?
Answer: Yes

Place: Elevator
Question:  What floor are we going to? I need to let my friend know where to join us.
Answer (in my head):  You dumb $#*+, what part of everyone did you not understand?

The above turned out OK.  We went back downstairs and they apologized.  One of the brides said that was their rehearsal, a practice run.  The marriage ceremony was fun and the brides were sweet and so in love.

I called for the next couple, no answer.  I called for them in both lobbies, couldn't find them.  Later a clerk located them sitting in a room off the lobby.  Where they were it was impossible to hear me. These two men were probably the most stressed out couple I have married.  They could not believe it was really happening.  They were finally being allowed to marry.  They told me it just didn't seem real that they were finally recognized as equal to the rest of the human race.  They were in tears and so appreciative of how kind everyone had been. 

First off I am not a bigot, nor am I racist.  But this next group was of a cultural group that looks down on women and is very controlling of women. That means since I am a woman any directions/rules I gave for the ceremony did not count.

Now to the stinkers.  This time the guests were soooo rude and would not back off.  I started the ceremony and it became all about the pictures.  I give them time before and after the ceremony for posed shots.  During the ceremony you would think the picture taking would be candid.  Not this group, and one person stands out for king of rudeness, aka KOR.

He talked over me telling a woman to fix the bride's hair. And a woman walked up and started fussing with the hair.  Then KOR kept telling the couple how to turn.  I told him no talking and nothing but candid shots.  Did not faze him, he kept talking and getting in front of me.  During the ring ceremony the groom dropped to his knees to slide the ring on his bride's finger.  How sweet.   KOR walks up to the groom, yelling instructions, stopped him, and started to pose him.  All the while I am yelling as if at a 2 years old, "NO! NO! candid only, be quiet."  The groom dropped back to his knees but the moment was shattered.  Again KOR tells them how to pose.  Again I am yelling at a 2 year old, no talking.  It was all I could do not to back hand KOR. 

I can't end on such a sour note.  My last wedding was so fun and so sweet.  He was born in 1944 she was born in 1957.  Her mother had made a lei of orchids for her and an orchid boutonniere for him. This was an older couple who were like a couple of giggly teenagers.  They laughed and smiled, they oozed love.  Her mother welcomed him to the family and laughed saying, "Now you aren't just the gardener."   He looked at me and said, "Long story and it isn't what you think."  They all laughed and wouldn't explain.  All I could think of was Desperate Housewives.

Again dammit, I have no endings.

Weddings, odds and ends Part 1

When you are doing wedding ceremonies in a government building, you gets all kinds of people.  Some are nice, some are just fun, some are rude, some make you proud to be an American, some are dumber than a red brick. This week we had them all.  I am going to write about a few of them today and later this weekend write about some others.

I read the license, the bride's address was USS Carl Vinson.  Yes, this time the bride was military. A beautiful young woman who was very proud of being in the Navy. Anytime I have a bride or groom who are military, I get teary eyed.  We owe them so much.  Be sure to read the link.  This is one important ship.

Another couple was really really nervous. When a couple comes in to buy a license, they input names and addresses into the computer.  Then a clerk pulls up information, she add some information, prints the license, they read over everything, and sign the licence.  They pre bought the license and came back for the ceremony.  The clerk who handled the ceremony transaction spotted an error and reprinted the license.  I then got the license. The license has spaces for the mothers' maiden names.  I checked the license and the couple had put the married names.  Back to another clerk and reprint and sign again.  The next one is partly my fault.  I hadn't checked the whole license.  We get into the elevator and I scan the license again.  Another error.  The license has a box for street, a box for city, a box for state.  They had put in the street address, for city Unit D, nothing for state.  Reprint again.  They were very sweet and very nervous.  We finally got it right and I married them.

This last couple were very sweet, very in love, but they had really rude guests.  The bride wore a white one shouldered cocktail dress.  She wore a pretty jeweled hair clip.  The groom wore a white suit, and their toddler son wore a white suit.  Well over 30 guests.  Loading them on the elevators took forever.  People kept disappearing. It was like herding cats.  I go up on the last elevator with the couple and some others.  The bride wants to walk in on her father in law's arm, she wants the groom to be up front with me.

I go into the wedding room and try to talk to the guests about rules of phones, taking pictures, how to bring up the rings.  They won't shut up.  One of the women kept trying hush them.   Not working.  I finally used my school teaching voice and said to please be quiet!  One of the men looked at me and said, "You certainly have attitude."  And I thought hell yes I have attitude, you're lucky I am staying to do this wedding.  I get the groom up front, signal the bride, and we begin.  The guests are still talking and laughing.  They did not quiet down until we are half way through the ceremony. 

I felt so sorry for the couple.  But the crowd wouldn't listen to me.  Rude rude rude.  And the rudeness continued.  I gave them extra time to take pictures, that many people it takes longer.  I gave them the 5 minute warning after all the paper work was done.  They wouldn't leave.  They just kept taking pictures.  I thought I was going to have to get the deputy to throw them all out.  After I became the alpha dog, I got them out of the room.  They were another 10 minutes leaving the downstairs lobby. 

Next time, elephants, lost couple, laughter.