Joe is here to share some wedding news

Tears & Kisses

News of Janet's diagnosis hit me pretty hard.  She asked me to keep blogging about weddings, and I immediately promised to do so.  Then things got kind of boring at the Marriage Factory.  The best I can offer you is a few tales of tears and kissing.

The bride & groom have a Spanish wedding.  Both speak English but the family doesn't, including the bride's father.  The ceremony is lovely, and the couple are very happy.  Dad is also happy.  He is an older man, dressed in traditional western gear, and tears are running down his face.  His daughter explains that he is thrilled to see her married.

My next couple are women.  They also cry, very happy to finally be married, even though they are younger than me.  They were also very passionate.  I've seen many post-wedding kisses before, ranging from a dry peck on the cheek to the borderline pornographic.  These ladies - they knew how to kiss.  Quite beautiful.

I married several same-sex couples that week.  None were matchy-matchy.  Better luck to me next time.  Get better soon, Janet.

Joe Mallon

A little bit of everything

Even though I wasn't well enough to do marriages Monday, I have weddings from other weeks. 

The couple was Chinese.  They were dressed beautifully.  His shirt, slacks, and tie were a rich silver grey.  Her dress was a floor length grey chiffon.  The grey knife pleats bled to different shades from top to bottom.  Then there was the MAJOR diamond jewelry.  I noticed the couple didn't talk, the witness did.  Not a good sign.  Yep, little English.  They couldn't understand anything I asked them.  Now the funny part of this is the clerk who did the paper work is the one who we called to do the ceremony in Cantonese.  She swears they asked for English. 

Screaming children are a part of the job.  The couple's 4 year old son started to climb a support beam in the Wedding Room.  I asked him not too.  I didn't fuss, just told him it was a no no.  He was not happy with me.  I thought here we go.  No, he sat on the floor and just sulked, not a sound.  His mother said that is his go to mad stage, great quiet sulking.

One wedding had many fashion statements.  Plus the Vietnamese bride was so insecure.  She did not want any pictures taken.  She was maybe 40 years old.  She held her hand up to her face and said, "No pictures, I am so old."  Since I am old enough to be her mother, I must be a real hag.  She did give in after the ceremony and allowed some pictures.   Her daughter wore Daisy Dukes, a turtle neck sweater, a thigh length leather coat, lacy thigh high stockings and Dr. Martins.   And the other witness (a woman in her 40's) wore a royal blue sleeveless sheath. She looked very sophisticated.  And then I saw her arm, she had tattoos.  It just didn't match her look.  She had a couple of Hello Kittys tattoos on her arm. 

Always something going on at the Marriage Factory

I know, I am way late in sharing the weddings for the last couple of weeks.  I have great excuses, but will just say I am sorry.  Read on.

First couple of the day:  There's only one couple in either lobby, so they must be it.  I called their names and they came up to me.  I hear a clerk calling, "Janet, no, that is the wrong couple."  Well where is the correct couple?   I found them in the computer room off the second lobby.   The couple was fun and taught me a new term, loaner rings.  The jeweler had not finished their real rings, so they had two simple gold bands loaned to them. 

The wrong couple was my next wedding.  The bride was so cute and bubbly.  Her dress was fabulous. It was a swing dress with huge geometric designs in pink, green, and turquoise.  It was very 70's.  I asked her if she bought it in a vintage store, no at Ross. 

Sometimes I play Mother and take sunglass off heads, have them spit out their gum, take off work IDs, what ever needs to be done for good pictures.  But one wedding a clerk and I played concierge.  The wedding party was wanting a good brunch/breakfast on Telegraph Ave.  We both told them Aunt Mary's Café  .    Buttermilk pie, shrimp and grits with Tabasco gravy,  what isn't to like?

Sometimes we marry a couple we don't think will make it or we feel uncomfortable about.  I don't have to marry anyone, as a volunteer I can turn the couple over to staff.  But I usually go on and hope for the best.  The groom was 45 and this was his fourth marriage.  The bride was 20 years younger and no previous marriages.  They had a 2 year old who hated the father.  The child screamed bloody murder constantly.  He hated the elevator, he hated getting off the elevator, he hated going into the Wedding Rooms, he demanded to be held. If he was put down to walk, he kicked and yelled at the groom. Every time the groom touched the mother the child yelled no and tried to push the groom away.  During the ring ceremony the bride is holding the child and he kicked and screamed at the groom.  Clerk K and I think the child was trying to tell the world something.  We hope we are wrong. 

One last story and it isn't about the couple.  I asked is everyone here, answer was no.  A guest's car had been stolen, or hopefully towed.  He was talking to the police.  When he came in the lobby he was the saddest young man I have ever seen.  I told him he looked as if he need a hug.  He said, yes please.  Did they find his car?  Of course, I have no ending.

A few wedding tales

Even though the  Marriage Factory was closed on Monday, Labor Day, I still have tales to tell.  I saved some stories from past weeks to cover the holiday.

A couple of weeks ago I was helping to train an intern.   She had just turned 18, so could now do marriage ceremonies.  She asked intelligent questions, took pictures, helped as needed.  But she was a huge help with one group.  We had a guest who was an elevator phobic.  And the poor guy was only about 10 years old.  So the intern walked him up the stairs to the Wedding Room.  In our building to go to the next floor is at least 2 stories of stairs.  I was tired by then and thrilled not to have to take the stairs. 

We had another elevator phobic, a toddler.  His twin loved the elevator, he was terrified.   What had triggered a phobia in a child so young?

 An example of the busy life of some of our couples.  They had come straight from work, got married, and then changed into casual clothes, and took off to go to class in Berkeley. 

I checked the license, the groom had just turned 40 the day before.  When he walked up to me, I thought we have to reprint.  His birth date is wrong.  He didn't look over 16 years old.  But he was really 40.  He says he is always carded.

People get emotional at weddings, the couple, the family, the guests.  I have even cried at some of the weddings I have done.  People will cry silently, they will have a break in their voices.  But this one was just weird.  The couple were so emotional they had to stop several times during the vows to pull it together.  One guest was sobbing loudly, crying and shaking, holding on to other guests.  Just really strange.  They all made it through, but I really wish I knew what the deal was.   Like I say, I have no endings.

A little fashion, names, very serious couple

The Bay Area has a population from all over the world.  And when they come to get married, I get a consensus from clerks on pronouncing names. Names are important, and I try very hard to pronounce them correctly.  Some names you think are easy and they aren't.  Andrea is just a guess.  It can be AN-dree-a,  AHN-dree-a, or ahn-DRAY-a.  Sometimes I get it right, sometime I don't.

My first couple on Monday were Ethiopian.  I saw his name and thought never will I get this one right,  Zewrigeberhan. But I did, and the bride and the witness.  They told me no one ever gets their names right.  Good job for me.

The next couple and witness were so sharply dressed.  The groom was in a grey pinstriped suit, white shirt, and white bow tie.  She wore a white chiffon floor length dress.  It had a halter top with a lace blouse under it.  But the best dressed was their witness.  He wore a suit with brown tone stripes, his shirt and tie had copper tones and his brown vest had copper buttons. 

One couple was so serious, almost frowning at each other.  I wondered if they had had a fight.  Their guests were having a great time taking pictures, laughing, teasing the couple.  But the couple just stood there, no smiles, not even close to each other.  This didn't look good.  I began the ceremony.  The groom had frown wrinkles, she was stone faced.  I pronounced them husband and wife and they laughed, hugged, kissed.  It was all OK.  I told them I didn't think they liked each other. She laughed and said, "He is my best friend, we have been together 10 years.  We were just a little nervous."

One group won best dressed group.  Everyone was dressed up, the women in long dresses, men in suits. little boys in dress slacks and starched shirts, and little girls in long puffy dresses.  The groom wore a gorgeous silver grey suit.  The bride wore a tiara with a finger tip layered veil and carried a bouquet of pink roses. Her dress was stunning, a long white princess dress.  It had a heart bodice in a satin like material with a beaded waist line.  The skirt was full and layered.  The top layer of organza was over  hundreds of three dimensional roses.  She was perfect for the cover of Brides magazine.

I have noticed

Whether it is a marriage ceremony or walking every day, I see things that are interesting.  I also am a little nosey and see interesting things around our neighborhood.

The reactions of brides and grooms are sometimes funny, sometimes sad, and sometimes worrisome.  Nervous brides/grooms will laugh uncontrollably.  One bride bounced the whole ceremony.  Others cry.  But the worrisome ones are the bored with the ceremony people.  I feel those marriages won't last the year.

But none of these may be an indicator of a lasting relationship.  I do have an ending on one marriage I did.  The couple separated two months after the wedding and now are in a court fight deciding if it will be a divorce or an annulment.  I know this because I was deposed to tell if I thought they knew what they were doing etc.  FYI, yes they were in their right minds and not on drugs.

When I walk every day I try to make eye contact with everyone I meet.  I say hello/morning to them.  Most will nod, and say morning.  But a few try to make themselves invisible and look away, ignore me, and just rush by.  I walk a regular route most days, if not at a regular time.  Some shop keepers and I wave to each other, which feels good.  Very small towny. 

Now to my neighbors.  Right in our parking lot I have seen stuff.  The man M who is always late for his ride to work.  Now that would be none of my business but his ride shows up at 5:30 A.M. with radio blaring.  M is never waiting for the driver.  The driver gets out of his truck and whistles loudly, nothing, then yells M, M, M, nothing.  Sometimes he goes up to the door and M finally comes out. 

M is also the idiot person who charges down the steps, starts their car, and then honks and yells for his wife and kids to get in the car.  He can be late but not allowed for anyone else.

Then we had the higher than a kite woman doing laundry.  Never had seen her before, she does not live here, but hey she was really mellow.

Across the street lives a very old sick woman.  She has several care givers who, from the little we can see, are very kind.  She has several young men that are there 24 hours a day.  Some come and go, some look like they are live in.  Marty and I have seen these men carry her out to the car.  It always looks as if they have a precious bundle in their arms.  If she is having a good day, they place her on their feet and put their arms around her and "walk" her into the house.  They wave to me when I walk by, and I wave back. 

Lots of stuff goes on in a neighborhood, place of work, school etc.  You just have to observe.

Love, all ages, fashion statements.

Love can strike all ages.  I have married couples who knew in the first grade this was the one for them.  I have married couples  who were in their eighties.  Love rules.

Two of my couples were older and made quite the fashion statements. 

The first groom was born in 1941 and his bride in 1947.  She wore a creamy silk shantung pant suit.  It had an almost tuxedo  jacket.  Her blouse was heavily embroidered in creams and pale blue.  He wore cream slacks with a tan blazer.  And he wore the greatest shoes, brown and white spectators.  All you young ones click here and here.  This couple was so in love, and so excited to be marrying.

The next couple wasn't as old, but still senior citizens.  The groom was born in 1945 and the bride in 1958.  He wore a blue suit and looked very dapper.  She wore a pale lavender dress that was tiered to the floor.  She wore white peek toe heels.  There was a tiny bow right at the toe of each shoe.  This was a couple you could really feel the love in the room.  After the wedding the groom kept saying he was so honored she was taking his name.  For some reason he was just knocked out by the name change. 

Older couples are the not the only ones who know how to dress up for the occasion.  A couple in their thirties were very spiffy, as were their children..  This couple is memorable for another reason, the groom's behavior.  But first to the clothes. 

The groom wore a gunmetal gray suit with a white knit shirt.  He looked like a GQ model.  The bride wore a long white tiered dress, which was off the shoulders.  As we were waiting to go into the Wedding Room, she pulled out a tiny fascinator.  It has a tiny veil and a little white flower.  She needed a  mirror to see how to pin it to her hair.  No mirror, so she used her IPhone camera as if taking a selfie.  Their son, the ring bearer, wore blue slacks with a button down white shirt and a blue tie.  Their daughter, the flower girl,  wore a mini copy of Mom's wedding dress.  Mom carried white hydrangeas and their daughter carried one hydrangea.

Now to the poor groom.  He was a nervous wreck.  He had zoned out and nothing was going in.  I had to say his name several times to get his attention.  During the ceremony it took prompting to keep him in the game.  After I pronounced  them husband and wife, I said, "You may kiss the bride."  Nothing.  The bride looked at him and said, "You can kiss me now!!"  And that woke him up. 

More from my backlog of weddings

One wedding the bride was 20 years older than the groom.  This is a type of wedding I love to do.  It reminds me of my Mother and Papa Jack.  Mother was about 20 years older than Jack  when they married and they were together 50 years.  As I often say, age has nothing to do with love.  And this couple was bursting with love for each other. 

Then there was the couple who had a lot of baggage.  He had been married twice before and she had already been married 3 times.  They were older ( he was 82, she was 62)  but that was a lot of marriages between them.  The thing most memorable from this ceremony is the child from Hell.  He was 4 or 5, old enough to know better.  He was kicking people, screaming, throwing toys, standing on the pews and kicking them. Not one adult told him no.  I told him no when he was on the pews.  I explained to the adults that children had bled when they fell and hit their heads on the pew.   Still no one corrected him. He needed a knot yanked in his tail. 

Now to our hyper bride.  She was stunning in a long white dress with a fingertip veil.  He was in a blue suit.  Most of the guests were dressed very nicely.  There was just one problem, the bride was so very nervous.  She was bouncing off the walls nervous.  She was loud, crass, crude.  After one really awful crude action, I stopped all the stupidity.  I told them no pictures until I got the bride calmed down.  I took her up front, called the groom up, and told her no talking just breathe deeply.  I told the groom to talk to her and hold her.  She was shaking so hard I was afraid she would fall over.  He held her and talked quietly to her, and she became calmer.  Finally I was able to do the ceremony. 

I have had a lot of nervous brides and grooms.  But never have I had the craziness of this bride. 

YAY! Joe took the bribe

I offered Joe a bribe to write a post for us again, and after much thought, he caved.  May he write many more for us. 

And now a word from one of our Friday Marriage Commissioners, Joe Mallon. 

I'm No Dummy

Weddings are a time for joy and laughter, but not all laughter is created equal.  Some jokes are funnier than others, even when the humor is unintended.  A recent groom was bald, save for what appeared at first glance to be an  unsightly pink rash.  One look at his wife's lips and a second glance at his head revealed the "rash" to be a perfect set of lip-prints, earned no doubt during preparations for the final part of the ceremony.

I've never been a fan of ventriloquism.  It's a skill, certainly, but not one whose practice I find amusing.  Imagine my reaction then as I returned from performing a wedding to see someone in the lobby dressed up nicely and balancing a dummy on his knee.  The dummy had a plastic head with painted-on red hair, looking like a creepy toddler.  I hoped against hope that the gentleman in question was not a groom who would want the dummy to recite his vows.

As luck would have it, he was a witness for a couple who, it seemed, found his interest quirky and charming and not distracting or attention-hogging.  I called the couple's names and the party came forward, the witness with the dummy cradled in his arm.  I was steadfast in my resolve; I would not engage it at all - not talk to it or even acknowledge its presence.  A cry for attention requires an ear.  That ear would not be mine.

The wedding went smoothly, with no contributions from any inanimate objects.

When a ceremony is complete, the witnesses must sign the license.  Janet's mentioned plenty of signature shenanigans - misspelled names, misplaced signatures, leaky pens - and I've had my share.  Never before have I had a witness turn to the babylike toy in his arms and say "Why don't you hold this for me while I sign?", and then place a tiny plastic hand on the top of the certificate to secure it while he signed.

When I dropped off the finished paperwork with the couple, the dummy was in a carrying bag.  Thus ever so, as far as I'm concerned.

Yes, I need to post about weddings. And so does Joe!

I am always complaining about bloggers who don't post regularly.  Today I realized that would also be me.  Sorry I fell down on the job.  I want to blame it all on Joe, our guest blogger.  I heard he had such a day last Friday and hoped he would write about it.  So far no luck on a post from him.  Not his responsibility to keep my blog going.  But I wish he would write more often for us.  Please Joe, write another post sometime soon

I have all kinds of notes on weddings so I can write a blog today, and maybe later this week get another one in. I write about confidential licenses often.  How only the couple has access to the license, and how it takes a court order for anyone else to see the license. 

I had a couple with a confidential license last week.  And they had no idea what it was.  They had just marked the box on the form and that is what they were sold.  Before I married them I gave them the pros and the cons of their license.  After I was sure they understood what it meant, then I did the ceremony.

The next couple also had a confidential license.   They totally understood what it meant, and it was what they needed.  They were a same sex couple from Texas, which is not a same sex friendly state.

And then there was the bride in the long turquoise dress and the groom in a suit.  All of the guests were dressed up. Little girls were  in frilly dresses.  It was a large group and when I asked the necessary question, is everyone here, I expected a yes.  Nope. Some of the guests had a fussy baby and decided to walk him outside.  They told the couple they would be back in 30 minutes.  Who does that do a couple?  I had to tell the couple if they wanted the others there for the ceremony, they couldn't go up to the Wedding Room.  I had other couples waiting.  They were unhappy, it was their turn.  They wanted to wait upstairs.  Sorry, but it is a Wedding Room, not a waiting room.

Weddings: reasons to marry

People get married for many reasons.  We always hope that love is the main reason. Today society accepts living together and lots of people feel no need to marry.  They love each other, so why do they need a legal paper to prove that love?  Well other issues factor in:  medical insurance, hospital rights, just felt like the time to marry, visa running out, pressure from family, tax benefits, and on and on. 

One couple came in to get a birth certificate and said we might as well get married while we are here.  They had been together for several years.  Monday just felt like the right time to marry.

Two women came to be married.  Their 2 sons were with them.  The couple had been together for 14 years.  You could feel the family love, the happiness these four people had built together.  They told me they said to each other, "We can now, so why don't we?  Let's get married."  They also told me how scary and at the same time wonderful to be able to walk in and buy a marriage license.  They felt real for the first time. 

There were other weddings.  And I will post about them later. 

When I married it was for love, it was because I adored (and still do) Marty Appel), and I did not want to think about a life without him.  And in 1967 marriage was the only acceptable way of life. 

Why did you marry, or have you married?  Living together is no big deal in today's world.  Children do not have to be born to a married couple, so there are very few shot gun weddings, although I have done one or two.  Is marriage now just a contract to have legal rights?  Is marriage more than that?

Weddings Part 2

As I mentioned before, Monday was a little busier than usual.  Some of the weddings stand out.  One for a not great reason. 

The couple was just silly and insincere, constantly kissing (dipping the bride or she had one foot up) and hugging, then checking the witness was taking pictures of them. I got no feeling of love or caring.  I have seen better acting by Paris Hilton.   I just wanted to smack them.

On to a better couple.  The groom wore a blue suit with a crisp white shirt and blue tie.  The bride's white dress had a gathered chiffon bodice and a lace over chiffon skirt. Their sincere feelings made up for the couple above.  Oh I forgot to tell you we had to wait on the groom before going up to the Wedding Room.  He was busy throwing up because of nerves.  He calmed down as I started the ceremony and was fine after the ceremony.  Now I feel like Gordon Ramsay as I yell  . . . For the first time ever on I Have No Endings, the volunteer witness was found on Reddit.  

The above couple had posted on Reddit asking for a witness.  Getting married on a work day, they didn't think any of their friends could come.  The witness responded and told them how great Alameda County handled weddings.  She had been married at the Marriage Factory 3 months ago.  She met them at the county building, hand held them through the paper work, and was fabulous to them.  I thought they were long time friends until they told me the story. 

I can't wait to see what  next Monday will bring.

And More Weddings

There are a couple more weddings from Monday I want to share with you all.

I had first, a sighing bride. Dictionaries usually define a sigh as a cry, relief something is over, or even sadness.  This sigh was  tender, happy, full of love.  After the bride said her vows, she gave this sweet sigh .  It was the most heartfelt, happy, loving sound I have ever heard. 

The next couple had a large group.  I asked is everyone here.  And of course,  the answer was no.  But this time I wasn't upset.  Grandmother had gone to the bathroom, and since she is 98 she takes a little longer.  We waited and then we all started laughing.  Here came Grandmother rushing toward us pushing her wheelchair.  They got her to sit in the chair and they pushed her onto the elevator.  This wedding was already fun.

The bride wore a white lace knee length dress.  It had cap sleeves and a scoop neck. The skirt was a lined lace semicircle.  The bride's jewelry was stunning.  She wore a mother of pearl and turquoise necklace.  The turquoise was set to look like little leaves between each oblong mother of pearl part.  Her earrings were Mother of pearl. 

The bride cried and the groom wiped her eyes and hugged her.  She was so happy and so emotional.  After the ceremony she asked if she could hug me.  Of course she got to, hugs are my big payment for volunteering. 

Weddings, we have weddings!

Monday I was beginning to think no one wanted to be married.  Then about 10:30 it got busy.  From then until 12:30 I did 6 or 7 ceremonies, and there were two foreign language ceremonies.  Not a huge number, but a lot was done  in 2 hours.   The pink wedding took forever to sort out.

My first two couples were witnessing for each other.  You would have thought they were close friends the way they interacted.  One couple was in their 20's and the other in their 50's.  The older couple were African American and dressed in a light shade of orange and in white.  The other groom also had on an orange shirt.  The older bride had on a white "brocade" dress.  Except it was a heavy cotton with a linen orange stole.  Beautiful outfit.

I asked the older couple if they had their own vows: he said no and she said yes.  Big worry lines on his face, "Do I have to create something right now?"  I told him he could do the traditional vows and she could say what she wanted to say.  Well they both said their own thing, and made me tear up.  He began with, " I can't imagine my life without you . . ."

Then we had the pink satin wedding.  The groom and all the little boys wore black slacks, black vests, and Pepto Bismol pink satin shirts.  The bride wore the same pink colored satin blouse with a white lace skirt.  The little girls wore pink and black dresses.  The bride and groom were each 21 and two of the children were theirs, the oldest was 5 or 6.  Babies having babies.  The ceremony was lovely, everyone was happy.  I took the license in to be recorded and it all hit the fan.

The bride was changing her name to his, except it was his middle name (Smith), not his last name.  The law won't let you do that.  ( I had never been told about this particular law.)  His ID showed his name as John Smith Doe, as did the marriage license.  Their children had the name, Smith.   He told us the ID had been wrong for years.  Why didn't he correct it years ago?  He said his birth certificate had John Doe Smith on it.  The Marriage desk clerk told him to take the birth certificate to DMV and they would tell him what he needed to do.  I am not sure what name the bride ended up with.  I had another couple to marry.

More weddings later this week.

ONE THOUSAND POSTS!

October 27, 2008 I posted my first blog.  I felt a need to write and knew I wasn't good enough or disciplined enough to write a book.  I was going to write for me, and hope to entertain a few people.  I have not picked up lots of readers, but that is OK.  The ones who read me seem to like what I am doing.  And I enjoy writing.

I have posted pictures of events we have gone to, testing recipes, parties, building a storage shed, hospital pictures, and updates on weight loss.  I have written rants on bicyclists with a death wish, some political views, and mostly about weddings and first graders.  I write what's happening to me or mine.

This is to show you a picture before A-Fib and diabetes changed my life.  I was just a little fluffy.  This is from an anniversary celebration for Marty and me year or so ago.

This picture was taken last weekend in Monterey Dunes.  Marty and I are on the left,  Hank (Little Brother) and Ann are on the right.  I'm not quite as fluffy as the picture above this one.

One Thousand posts, that is writing about a lot of stuff.  My readers probably know me better than some family members.  That's right, some family members don't read my fabulous blog (the non-readers are not immediate blood kin).  Their loss.  I will continue to write as long as I am able.  If you remember I have posted during the great drama of multiple diagnoses, selling a house, and moving. I keep on writing whatever is going on. There will be drama, humor, sadness, happiness, I will tell you about my life as a youthful senior citizen.

I hope you will continue with me, maybe you'll even share my posts on Facebook.  Yes, I am vain and want more readers, more likes, more comments.  If you have questions about what I do , like, support, tell me and I will try to respond.  If you want to, share the date of your favorite post.  I think that would be interesting to know.

Thank you for hanging in there with me.


 

Favorite Wedding Moments

On Monday we were fairly busy.  I had several ceremonies and there were several non English ceremonies.  We never felt slammed, but a nice brisk pace.

One couple had the perfect witness, Sam.  Sam took pictures, signed the license, and was the best baby wrangler ever.  The 6 month old baby was in a stroller, wide awake and just watching us.  Sam took pictures while rocking the stroller and even plopping a pacifier in the baby's mouth at the least sound.  After the wedding he was holding the baby and taking pictures at the same time.

I saw them in the lobby, flowers in their hair, very hippy outfits, and very loud,  The bride wore a red and black Mullet chiffon dress.  She carried red and coral roses.  The groom wore a black suit, shirt, tie, and hat.  His hat had flowers on the brim.  The women guests had flowy dresses and flowers in their hair.  The men had flowers behind their ears.  I had a group of hippies.  No I was wrong, they were in the theater.  One of the guests sang a love song a cappella that was wonderful.  So, Janet, don't go judging a book by its cover.

The bride had on a striking white dress.  It was tight to the knees and then ruffled out to the floor.  The bodice was heart shaped with a tiny bit of cleavage.  She also wore a purple bra with straps wider than the dress' spaghetti straps.  AND the cleavage was filled in with a tee shirt material camisole.

My favorite moment that was not staged by a photographer as has happened in the past:  the groom dropped to his knees as he gave the bride her rings.  Every woman in the room went awwwww.

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day at the Marriage Factory went surprisingly well.  The new supervisor had us organized within an inch of our lives.  Each Commissioner was assigned his/her own wedding room.  Two of us took all the appointments and the other three rotated taking walk ins.  When I was given a Spanish ceremony Joe, our guest blogger, took that couple and would give me his English ceremony.  About a third of our confirmed appointments did not show.  So Joe and I also did walk ins.  Total weddings from 8:45 to 4:30, 76.  That is not a record but still a busy day.

A few favorite things:.
The couple dressed in jeans, dress shirt, blazers, and one in a top hat.
Lots of little girls in beautiful long red dresses and flowers in their hair.
Little boys in bowties, red dress shirts, and even red shoes.
Brides in red dresses, white dresses, and grooms in red shirts.
Beautiful red shoes, silver sandals, wonderful boots.
Red roses bouquets, Cataleya bouquet and boutonniere, gardenia bouquet and boutonniere
One of Joe's grooms was talking about being so hot.  He told me he just doesn't do heat well, wedding room is a cool 69-70.  He had a tattoo on his arm that said Keep Refrigerated.

What I did not like:
Disappearing guests, brides, grooms.
Channel 2, an Oakland TV station, being in our way and wasting our time filming weddings and then showing a Berkeley wedding
Rude group who told me I was rushing them.  They did not have their act together. They would not do as asked, told me I was ruining their special day.  This is the couple that let me start the ceremony and then remembered they had a special wedding rug to use, then wanted the brother to do a reading, and then the groom left the arch and started digging in a backpack for a special camera.  They then wouldn't leave the room.  It all ended well, the Southern Belle smoothed things over as I visualized killing them.

Now for some pictures:

 

As elevator doors opened, this is what we saw.  This area was for photo shots after we gently moved couples out of the wedding rooms.

Main Wedding Room

 

 

Little lobby outside the Wedding Room

 

 

These pictures are of my Wedding Room, a decorated conference room.

 

 

This is an atrium off the staff lunch room.  It was like an outdoor venue.

 



 

Two of our Alameda County Deputies at the front desk. 

 



 

The part of the back lobby where marriage licenses are sold.

 

 

My favorite group yesterday, my Hell's Angels.  The bride was in a lovely black sheath and killer heels.   The groom and his friend were typical bikers.  They were big burly men with gorgeous silver skull rings.  They were a just couple of Teddy Bears.  The witness took pictures and as he was signing the license told me he had taken a selfie. That made me giggle.  All 3 were so sweet and fun.  As they left I got big Teddy Bear hugs.   

 

Now for the winner of best bride: Commissioner Patricia won with her transgender bride sporting a full beard.

As promised, Star Wars

Monday was not very busy at the Marriage Factory.  I did several weddings, most of them very ordinary.  But one wedding really stands out.

Two brides had been friends for 30 years.  They wanted back to back ceremonies with mutual friends there for both weddings.  No problem.  I took both couples, their friends, and their families up to the Wedding Room.  The first couple wanted a very traditional ceremony.  After they were married I asked the second couple if they wanted the same ceremony or a different one.

The bride asked if I had anything not so traditional, something fun.  I flippantly said there is a Star Wars ceremony.  The room went crazy.  That was what they wanted.

I wasn't sure I was allowed to do the ceremony.  It contains the legal points.  But the county had had some weird ones wanting the  ceremony, and I think the press even made fun the ceremony.  I asked and was given permission to use the Star Wars ceremony.  I also was told to try not to offer it again.

So I began.    We are here in a galaxy far far away to form an alliance   . . .   remember to stay away from the dark side   . . .   I then asked permission from the Jedi  Knight and the Princess to marry them   . . .   the force of love is strong in you   . . .   the force will be with you always.  The ceremony ended with my power to marry them coming from the Alliance of Planets and the state of California, Planet Earth. 

The laughter and the fun of this ceremony was great.  The couple was serious during the vows, but laughed through the Stars Wars points.  They were really happy with the ceremony.  And I had just as much fun as everyone else. 

Reading, not marrying

Over the holidays the Marriage Factory was crazy.  We broke records for one day of weddings, licenses sold, total weddings for the week.  And remember we are talking 4 day weeks. We joked were there any couples left for us to marry.  Well, Monday we decided not many left.

I did 2 ceremonies and there was one Spanish ceremony.  Mighty slow Monday.  I read nearly a whole book waiting for couples to come in.  The book was great fun, Janet Evanovich's Takedown Twenty. 

My first couple told me they came last Monday, the day we did 56 ceremonies.  When they saw the crowds, they turned around and went back home.  The bride was carrying a gorgeous bouquet of peachy and cream roses.  I wondered if this was from last week or she bought another bouquet.  I am betting a new bouquet.

The other ceremony was for two women from Nevada, a destination wedding.  They had been together for over 10 years and the wedding was very emotional for all of us.  Such love and tenderness expressed.  As we say in the business, there was love in the room.

Weddings, we have weddings

I had several weddings Monday morning.  Some stand out, some were a blur.

My first couple were two men. They were dressed in shades of blue.  Their ties were of the same material, one bow tie one regular tie.  They were so thrilled and overwhelmed at being allowed to marry.  We had tears and laughter.  When they  asked me to stand between them for pictures I could feel one groom's heart pounding.  He was very emotional.

The next couple were interesting.  The groom was changing clothes and took forever.  While we waited I talked to the bride.  She was originally from Green County, Kentucky. She talked about helping to set tobacco when only 7 years old. Then as she watched her brother cut tobacco she dreaded being old enough to do such hard labor.   It was nice talking to someone whose accent was thicker than mine.  I wish her luck with this marriage.  She is 33 years old has an 18 year od son and this is her fourth marriage.

Another couple also had Kentucky ties.  It was like old home week.  The groom's father was from Owensboro, Kentucky and the witness was from Lexington, Kentucky.  We all agreed the weather is so much better in the Bay Area.  We also like earthquakes better than tornadoes. 

I had two same sex couples who were witnessing for each other.  They were friends, the women from Colorado and the men from The Bay Area.  They were all older in their fifties and sixties.  And so much fun.  The men were terrible flirts and I loved it.  Safe flirting is always fun.  They declared me hot and wanted to take me home.  That perked up my day.

Now for the wedding that was the talk of the day.  Clerks kept coming to my desk and telling me about the bride.  They were all horrified.  I thought they have to be over reacting.  NOPE, she was something.  She almost had on bright blue hot pants.  I have underpants that cover more than her hot pants.  Camel toe in the front and butt cheeks hanging out.  Her socks were blue and white "Where's Waldo socks" that were above the knees.  She had on a headband that was a giant gold bow with sequins on it. She finished the look with a Tee Shirt and a heavy multicolored cardigan.   And the bride made sure all could enjoy her body.  She sat on the bench with her legs pulled to her chest.  Butt cheeks everywhere.