Showing posts with label suspenders. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suspenders. Show all posts

Monday, February 23, 2015

Never Work With Children Or Animals


Joe again has word from the Marriage Factory.

Children at weddings are always a risk.  I've written before about how variable their behavior is. No child under the age of 7 will be interested in a wedding for more than 3 minutes.  There's nothing to capture the attention - just grown-ups talking a lot, including a strange one who might be in a robe.  The happiness of their parents/relatives/relative's friends carries no weight.

If you do want a child present at your wedding, bring something to distract him.  Infants are sometimes not aware enough to fuss more than a few minutes.  iPads and handheld video games usually do the trick for the over-5 set. The sour spot between those two generates the most tantrums, bench-climbing, and room-wandering.  The latter two are the most distracting for the adults, especially the officiant.  A child tearing down a window blind or falling on a hard wood bench and cracking his skull open is not the happy wedding-day memory most couples want to keep, so have someone in tow to wrangle the little ones.

Sometimes, even the fussiest baby gets a pass.  This week, a couple brought in their toddler, who fussed for the entire ceremony, so I just spoke louder (inadvertently learning that the wedding room has a great natural echo). The couple were good-natured and apologetic, but that's not why I couldn't be cross.  The boy was dressed to the nines in black trousers, a white shirt, and suspenders.  Baby suspenders!  Who knew such a thing existed?  I was so delighted by the way they'd dressed him - like a 1920s newspaperman at work - that I couldn't be cross.  Let that be a lesson.  Always dress for the job you want, even if you're pre-verbal.

Fashion report: beautiful green dress with a matching (but not samey) emerald necklace and earrings, a midnight blue dress with a silver neck piece - not a necklace, more Cleopatra-like in shape and sparkly copper/silver heels, another silver lace dress - that seems like it would be a dark look for midday, but some people can pull it off.

By The Numbers:
Ceremonies: 10
Formal wear: 6
Formal wear, toddler class: 1
Adorable couple over 70: 1