Bring Your Friends!

More from Joe and the Marriage Factory.

Everybody Say Yeah!

As an amateur social scientist, I theorize that the size of a wedding party in no way correlates to the success of the marriage.  My wife & I were married in front of 4 people.  My cousin was married in front of almost 100 people. I'm still married.  She is not.  Kim & Kanye are still together.  Scatter-plot that all you want.  I bet nothing lines up.

Admittedly, my sample, though voluminous, is skewed.  Our wedding room holds only 40 people, and most couples don't even know we have a wedding room.  The number of times I've heard, "Oh, this is so nice!  We had no idea the room would be so cute!" as we enter testifies to that.  Still, enough know or have squadrons of friends to offer at least some anecdotal data as to the effect of a crowd on the wedding itself.

Large groups present a wrangling challenge that the couple-plus-single-witness model does not.  Getting all those folks into one elevator (or even several), herding them into the wedding room, getting all cell phones silenced, and making sure the couple stays the focus of attention - it all takes work.  The payoff is the eruption of applause when the ceremony concludes and the couple are actually married.  That release of energy is captivating.

So bring as many friends as you want!  We can pack people in, and there's plenty of seating space.  Just make sure your guests have met beforehand, as those benches can get pretty tight.

Fashion report: Today was all about coral: coral shoes and camisole vs. a coral blazer for one couple, and a coral strapless dress with brand new high heels (we lent a pair of scissors to cut off the tag).  The last bride wore a teal blouse with a peplum, and matching teal shoes.  Guess it's Southwestern palette day.

By The Numbers:

Ceremonies: 11

Formal wear: 6

Weddings with more than one official photographer: 1

​

Never Work With Children Or Animals

Joe again has word from the Marriage Factory.

Children at weddings are always a risk.  I've written before about how variable their behavior is. No child under the age of 7 will be interested in a wedding for more than 3 minutes.  There's nothing to capture the attention - just grown-ups talking a lot, including a strange one who might be in a robe.  The happiness of their parents/relatives/relative's friends carries no weight.

If you do want a child present at your wedding, bring something to distract him.  Infants are sometimes not aware enough to fuss more than a few minutes.  iPads and handheld video games usually do the trick for the over-5 set. The sour spot between those two generates the most tantrums, bench-climbing, and room-wandering.  The latter two are the most distracting for the adults, especially the officiant.  A child tearing down a window blind or falling on a hard wood bench and cracking his skull open is not the happy wedding-day memory most couples want to keep, so have someone in tow to wrangle the little ones.

Sometimes, even the fussiest baby gets a pass.  This week, a couple brought in their toddler, who fussed for the entire ceremony, so I just spoke louder (inadvertently learning that the wedding room has a great natural echo). The couple were good-natured and apologetic, but that's not why I couldn't be cross.  The boy was dressed to the nines in black trousers, a white shirt, and suspenders.  Baby suspenders!  Who knew such a thing existed?  I was so delighted by the way they'd dressed him - like a 1920s newspaperman at work - that I couldn't be cross.  Let that be a lesson.  Always dress for the job you want, even if you're pre-verbal.

Fashion report: beautiful green dress with a matching (but not samey) emerald necklace and earrings, a midnight blue dress with a silver neck piece - not a necklace, more Cleopatra-like in shape and sparkly copper/silver heels, another silver lace dress - that seems like it would be a dark look for midday, but some people can pull it off.

By The Numbers:

Ceremonies: 10

Formal wear: 6

Formal wear, toddler class: 1

Adorable couple over 70: 1

A surprise for Joe

This has a fun twist to it.  Enjoy

You Live Where Now?

When I get a license at the Marriage Factory, I scan it for age, county (non-Alameda county weddings require a little more processing and explanation), and names, so when I call out to the masses in the lobby, I have a rough idea of where to aim.  A Chinese couple in their 20s are unlikely to be the 3 elderly Hispanic gentlemen sitting together.

I rarely look at the other information until the ceremony is underway, and mostly just as a point of conversation.  "Oh, you were born in Michigan.  My wife grew up there."  The address is usually the least interesting thing about a couple, although if it's the same for both participants, at least they know each other well.

Imagine my shock when I glanced at a license and saw my own address.  Not my current address, mind you.  That would be a little too baffling.  No, this soon-to-be-wed duo live in the house my father bought in the late '80s when he first moved to California.  When I headed west to start my new life here, I stayed with him for a year, and then in that house for 2 more years while he headed back east.

I've never been back to the house since leaving it to pursue employment and stability.  It was a nice house then and I'm sure it's even better now, especially with the real estate values in the Bay Area.  The couple were very kind in talking with me about the house after I performed their wedding, not at all unnerved as I asked questions about the wall color and carpeting.  Then they went on their way, back to the place I used to live.

Fashion report: a groom in Crocs and a bowling shirt with train illustrations, a groom who took off his hoodie for the ceremony, and...well, that should be enough

By the numbers:

Ceremonies: 10

Couples in formal wear: 5

Couples who live in a house I used to live in: 1

News from the Marriage Factory

I asked Joe to send reports on weddings when he had time.  He does work full time and volunteers other places besides the Marriage Factory.  Today he is writing about bouquets and he gives some history.  Thanks Joe.

A Rose By Any Other Name

The wedding bouquet has its origins in ancient times, to ward off either evil spirits or the smell of plague.  It wasn't until the 19th century that flowers supplanted herbs and leaves.  Nowadays, at least at the Marriage Factory, the bouquet serves mainly to get in the way of the couple holding hands and to block the photographers from capturing the moment the bride puts a ring on the groom's finger.

 

Bouquets take many forms: store-bought amalgams of mums, blossoms and baby's-breath; neatly shorn roses in red, white, pink, or coral; rubber-banded sunflowers with blooms the size of a baby's head.  Doesn't matter - they're all difficult to wrangle when the time comes for the vows and the handholding.  Still, some brides seem utterly stricken when it comes time to set aside the flowers.  I never demand one way or the other.  I just wonder how many pictures there are of a bouquet covering the groom's hand as his soon-to-be-wife slides an invisible ring on him.

Fashion report: a beautiful ecru dress matching a traditional Filipino embroidered shirt in the same color, with a flowered headband in the same palette

By the numbers:

Ceremonies: 9

Couples in formal wear: 4

Ceremony where the children outnumbered the adults: 1, although the kids were well-behaved

Love in the Room

I had several weddings on Monday, but one, on my word . . .

The groom was 68 years old and the bride was 61.  They beamed with happiness and love.  He wore a white on white shirt with tan slacks. She wore a long white dress that was fancy but not a true "wedding" dress.  She  had gardenias in her hair and carried a bouquet of calla lilies.  They looked just like everyday people.  But they were just a tad different.

They had been deaf since birth and were limited in their speech.  They read lips and did American Sign Language. They could read my lips and understand the ceremony and their friends signed questions I needed to ask them.

The couple had written their own vows. They signed and spoke them.  This was such a sweet touching ceremony.  The love radiated through out the room from the couple to the guests, from the groom to the bride, and from the guests to the couple.  I had goose bumps the whole ceremony.

The best part watching this couple, the bride was a bouncer/ laugher.  She grinned ear to ear, she laughed, joy was her middle name.  The groom could not stop smiling.  They were the happiest couple I have ever married. 

Happy, fun, sweet, and so much in love.  I asked if I could have a hug after the ceremony.  I really really enjoyed meeting this special couple.

JEALOUS! I am so jealous.

I have told you all about silly weddings, sad weddings, costume weddings, touching weddings.  I thought I had done every type out there.  No, I haven't.  The best wedding story this week is not mine.  I am going to tell you about a wedding done on Friday by Patricia.  And yes, I am very very jealous she got to do this wedding.  I can never top this.

Patricia volunteers on Friday afternoons, our busiest day.  She and our Marriage Desk Clerk posted pictures on Facebook of the Elvis wedding.  Yes, downtown Oakland not Vegas.

Elvis and Dolly Parton tie the knot.  The witness you see is the Easter Bunny.

Much happiness.

Santa, Dolly, Elvis, The Easter Bunny, and Patricia

Patricia said said she sang a few bars of Love Me Tender.  She felt that was more appropriate than Hound Dog.

WEDDINGS!!! Really, weddings

Monday for the first time in a little over 2 months, I was back at the Marriage Factory.  I wasn't sure if I would be strong, peppy, energetic enough to last 3 or 4 hours.  But unless I tried, I would never know.  I arrived before they opened at 8:30 and left at noon.  Thankfully it was a slow day and I could rest between ceremonies.

It was great to be welcomed back and to receive the hugs from staff.  They are a great group of people to work with.  They checked on me, my staff back up kept saying,  " ... just let me know if it is too much.  I'm here if you need to rest."

The timing of ceremonies has changed.  People used to arrive when we opened and that would be the rush of the day.  Now they are arriving around 10:30 and it builds through the day.  So, I didn't have a lot of ceremonies, only 3. When I left at noon, the lobby was packed.

The first bride wore a white dress with black polka dots.  Her shoes were gold matte finish heels with little satin roses on the toe. The groom was from Virginia and very preppy.  He wore an oxford cloth button down collar shirt that was nicely tucked into khaki Bermuda shorts.  But the things that really struck me were his face and hair.  His hair was shoulder length and he had a mustache and small goatee. I kept thinking I recognized him.  Who was he, was he famous?  And then it hit me, King Charles.  Look at these pictures.  The first picture in the first row and the second picture in the second row are this young man to a tee. 

The second couple were Chinese.  I called the first name and the bride ran up and said yes we are here.  I introduced myself, asked the standard questions, and did the ceremony.  We found an error when I took the license in to be recorded and had to resign the new copy.  That is when I found out I had been calling the bride and groom by each other's name.  They laughed and said Chinese names are always mixed up.  I then had to think was the ceremony legal?  Yes, they had given consent at the right time, and thinking back had used their correct names in doing so.  I was soooo embarrassed.  Names are really important and I messed up.  Thankfully they were not upset.  But also why did she answer for him when I called for them in the lobby?  Oh, well.

My last one is embarrassing in a different way.  One witness was a well dressed man wearing a gray on gray double breasted suit and a crisp white shirt.  Very striking man.  We got in the elevator and I look over and his fly was down.  I then looked everywhere but at him.  What are you to do when you see someone with their fly open?  I took the coward's way out and acted like everything is hunky dory.  Later I noticed he had zipped up, thank goodness. 

Worst wedding dress ever, and other happenings at the Marriage Factory

Lots of weddings on Monday.  Some in English for me, and others in Cantonese and Spanish.  My first wedding was a destination wedding.  A same sex couple from Arizona had come to California to marry.  They were so nice, a couple of teddy bears.  They loved how nice and easy everything was handled in Alameda County compared to complicated wait times in San Francisco.  Then they noticed the art work was all marriage related. They took lots of pictures by each piece of art.  A great couple to start off the day.

Sometimes I get couples with hard to pronounce names.  Remember I grew up in a little town in Kentucky.  Not much diversity there.  Until I started doing marriages I didn't have to be able to pronounce hard names.  Friends taught me to pronounce their names, and that covered it.  But now, lots of diverse names, Mongolian, Chinese, Vietnamese, Romanian, Hispanic, Indian, and on and on.  For an example check this out: Qixia.  This is Chinese and I do pretty good most of the time.  But a Q and a X in the same word threw me this time.  I was close but no cigar.

Remember my rule, ask if everyone is here, before we go upstairs?  Didn't go as planned. The clerk told them they were next and I would be right out.  (Wish she wouldn't do that, what if I needed a bathroom break, or another commissioner is doing a Spanish wedding?)  Any who, I go out and one of the grooms is missing.  He is paying the parking meter.  They made a point to tell me how long they had been there, an hour!  Really, you think you are the only ones getting married?.  The lobby was packed.  Finally the groom comes back, everyone is here, and we go upstairs.  I call the two grooms over and only one shows.  The guy is missing again.  He had gone to the bathroom.  I admit I got a little testy.  I had a desk full of licenses and these people have taken as long as a ceremony and we haven't started yet.

In my defense for being testy the couple before this one had been a problem.  I started asking questions and realize the groom did not speak/understand English, not a word. The clerk had to know this.  So I had to get them out of the Wedding Room, and then go get the above couple. That is always awkward. 

Now about the awful wedding dress:  Visualize this. . . a mullet dress.  It gets worse, the top is black strapless but she is wearing a black bra that is not strapless.  It gets better and better, the mullet skirt is a leopard print and sheer.  Thank goodness she had on black hot pants under it.  I just can't unsee this hot mess.

Columbus Day Weddings

Columbus Day is a Federal Holiday, but not all businesses or government agencies close.  Alameda County was open for business.  But not many people showed up for weddings or other business done by the County Recorder's Office.  We decided people thought we were closed.

I had only 4 ceremonies all morning long.  Clerk Q who does the Spanish and also English ceremonies if we get backed up, had no weddings Monday morning.  It was slow, but for me that was a good thing.  Sunday had been a bad day for me and I was worried about doing much on Monday.  My ceremonies were spaced out nicely, so I got to rest between couples.

Three couples really stand out in my mind.  A Hispanic couple in their early forties.  He was so solemn and matter of fact.  UNTIL I said, "Do you take this woman as your wife?"  He looked at her and broke out in a huge loving smile. Love just poured out of him.  Goosebumps time.

The next couple were from South Carolina.  This was a destination wedding for two men.  They found us on YELP and were impressed with our reviews.  They weren't sure who should stand on which side during the ceremony.  I asked them when they walked down the street and held hands, who was on which side?  They laughed and said, " We are from South Carolina, we don't hold hands much in public."  Good they could laugh about it, but a sad statement too.  The men were so happy and so emotional.  They were so pleased with our Wedding Room, and the kindness of the staff. 

Now for my favorite couple of the day.  They were in their early thirties, and casually dressed.  This was a spur of the moment wedding.  The bride was on her way to work.  He was on his way to pick up their kids at school.  She was not worried about her outfit.  But he worried about he looked.  He took off his hat and his hair was prematurely gray.  It was beautiful.  Silver at the temples with flecks of silver throughout.   He kept saying if he had known they were getting married he would have gotten a haircut first.  Then he worried about having on a T-shirt and jeans.  He was a head taller then his bride.  She was leaning against his shoulder, and every few seconds he leaned down and kissed the top of her head, and then hugged her.  I wanted to cry because it was so touching.  This couple radiated love and devotion.

This last couple is the prime example of why I volunteer.  I was so touched and happy doing that ceremony.

Weddings and Training

Wednesday they asked me to help train one of the staff, Clerk Y.  He had not been sworn yet as a Marriage Commissioner, he had just observed a couple of weddings.  I showed him how to check a license, and most importantly to ask is everyone here.  He was not as cocky as some I have helped to train, he brought a legal pad and wrote down my pearls of wisdom.

We had several types of weddings: same sex, hetero sex, bored with this, three sentences, and a double.  Y was lucky to see so many types of people that come through the Marriage Factory.  You need to be prepared for anything.

One wedding was two men who were in gorgeous suits.  The wedding was sweet, emotional, had lots and lots of guests.  But I have a question readers, what is up with leaving the brand tag stitched on the left sleeve and not picking out the stitching on the vent in the back of the coat?  Lots of men do this and to me it just looks wrong. It is a new fad?  Marty says they plan to take the suits back after the wedding.  What do you think?

The double wedding was interesting, couple 1 was 2 women and couple 2 was 2 men.  Neither couple had a witness, so they were each others witnesses.  I start telling them about the types of ceremony and both couples stop me cold.  They want the shortest ceremony there is, no fluff just do a quick legal ceremony.  And they do not want any pictures.  There is no need for any of that stuff.  With great reluctance I did the three sentence ceremony as a double wedding.  No kisses after the ceremony and they were ready to go.

Y commented on the difference in the feel in the room of the double wedding and the other weddings we had done.  He wanted more romance too.  But not our call, the couple gets the wedding they want.

So Few Weddings

I am not sure what has happened to all the couples in love.  Wednesdays have become an almost nothing day for weddings.  And I have been told other days have slowed down too.  But the numbers don't really matter.  When there is love there is love.

I have done a wedding each Wednesday.  I was going to do my fashion thing, and write about the nervous groom.  I changed my mind.  The best wedding was on last Friday.  Joe may have done it, or Patricia, it could have even been done by staff.  A staff person posted on facebook  a fabulous comment.  I am stealing your comment, L.

 

Today, an 83 yr old man and an 85 yr old woman came in to get married. 

 Love is love wherever and however you are  

- I raise my party cup to u folks! Cheers!

On this date, April 8 . . .

Lots of important things have happened on April 8.  Some are listed below.  I know which one I consider the most important and wonderful.

Catfish Hunter was born, 1946

Jacquqes Brel was born, 1929

Sonja Henie was born, 1912

Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home run record, 1974

Janet and Marty Appel were married, 1967

Marty and Janet. 

 

The couple with Janet's parent's, Anna and Jack Hollin.

The couple with Marty's parents, Happy and Dolly Appel.

 

 

 

 

A couple of weddings

Wednesday was really slow at the Marriage Factory.  No one to marry until 10 minutes before the cut off time.  Yep, 3:50 and I was handed 2 marriage licenses.  Now usually I would be pleased to do the ceremonies.  But that day I was having an eye problem.  Or maybe a head problem.

I have silent/painless migraines. (Usually I have no pain)   I just get an aura and can't really see much except swirling prism lights for 30 minutes to an hour. The older I get the longer they last. Afterwards I am exhausted and feel weird for the rest of the day.  The aura starts as a tiny circle and spreads throughout my total vision blocking everything   At half way through it begins to diminish and the circle opens gradually.   I can see some things as the aura wears off.  I was just past half way through the aura when I was handed the licenses.  I knew as it diminished I would have a wider circle of normal vision.

I could see just enough to check the licenses.  I could see to walk, and I have several ceremonies close to memorized.  Although I don't trust my memory and always have my book open.

I went out for the first couple.  She was 45 and this was her third marriage.  He was 40 and this was his second marriage.  That is a lot of baggage between them.  They were bubbly and happy as any couple should be.  I married them and  by the end of the ceremony my vision was almost normal. He was gorgeous to look at and charming.   I looked at her and thought what a good looking blond.  Her hair was pulled back in a loose bun with tendrils hanging down.  She wore a tailored silver grey pant suit, just one long look of Grace Kelly.  And  then I really looked at her:  her hands were scarred and discolored, her face had a lopsided smile, that smile caused by a two inch puckered scar on her cheek, and her face was discolored in places.  This woman had been in an awful accident and was scarred.  But she came across as a lovely classic blond princess.  I think her personality was so charming that you saw her inner beauty that was covering her scars.

The next couple were Chinese.  They were very Americanized and traditional at the same time.  He was sedate and she was giggly and bouncy.  After the ceremony, no kiss or hug  Just a thank you to me.  They were dressed causally, jeans and Tee shirts.  She kept on her down vest during the pictures.  When I said I would take pictures of the couple and their 2 guests, the guests both took off their coats and started primping for the pictures.

Weddings from last Wednesday

Today I am writing the blog post I should have written Friday.  We had a busy weekend.  Marty and a friend brought most of what was left in the storage unit to our storage shed.  So Saturday and Sunday we were unpacking again, putting up things, repacking what doesn't work, and taking the boxes back to the shed.  We are still going through things.  And there is more to bring to our shed.  Not much, but some.  Now to the weddings.

Wednesday was again a slow day for weddings. The first wedding the groom asked me, " Do you know my friend, Joe, who works here.  I thought of our Joe who guest blogs, and is the only Joe who volunteers.  I said yes, he and his wife are my friends.  Oh, groom's Joe is not married and doesn't do weddings.  He works for a County Supervisor.  Not in this building and not our Joe.

The bride wore a black suit with a pencil skirt, short jacket, and the under blouse was black.  She wore a wrist corsage of white roses and carried white roses.  The groom wore a black suit, white shirt, and no tie  He had a white rose boutonniere.  The witness pulled out a beautiful pearl tiara for the bride's something borrowed. The bride wasn't sure, was it too much?  I told her it was one of the few times in her life she could wear a tiara and she should wear it.  She looked beautiful wearing it.

It was sad to be with the next couple.  He (64 looked 100) was legally blind (some sight) dragging an oxygen tank. The canister was not even on wheels  She (59 looked 79) was totally blind and could barely walk.  Their caregiver was with them and the brides' daughter and two grand daughters.  He would bend double trying to breath after walking.  I suggested they do the ceremony sitting on the bench.  No, they wanted to stand under the arch (the daughter had told them about it).  They held hands tightly during the ceremony.  When we went back downstairs, the daughter reminded him that he had a doctor's appointment later Wednesday.  He said I am too sick to go to the doctor.

When I returned to my desk, the lead clerk asked me to help train clerk K who is new to Vitals.  K and  I went over the license. It was a reprint, and it and the souvenir certificate couldn't be completed because of mechanical problems. Wedding Desk Clerk C was going to finish the paper work.  K joined me to observe this ceremony.  The couple was from Ethiopia.  She was gorgeous and he was very handsome.  He wore a black suit with a crisp white shirt.  She wore a long blue wrapped dress which had long sleeves.  The couple looked very elegant.  I noticed she wasn't talking and that he was translating.  I asked if English was going to be a problem, and he said that he thought she might be OK.  Might be?  Great.  I questioned her and she was able to answer me in very short sentences.  I was sure she could understand what was going on.  I did a ceremony that the couple did not have many vows to say to take the pressure off the bride.

The last wedding was a good one for K to observe.  I had told her that you never know what is going to happen, and this wedding proved the rule   We had license problems,  the couple had to sign again, a dead typewriter, and had to prove the bride understood English.

Some Rules Need to be Broken

Wednesday was really slow at the Marriage Factory. I sat for an hour and a half, nothing.  I was falling asleep.  So I went out to bother staff, the deli people, just walk around. 

I saw the family come in the door.  Dad in a white shirt and blue slacks.  Mom in a white satin sheath.  It had layers of flat satin about 2 inches wide on a slant from shoulder to the knees.  She had rhinestone earrings and a drop necklace.  The guests were dressed up .  Everyone was respecting the occasion.  And then I saw the little girls.

Two little ones, 4 and 6 years old.  White dresses, white ruffled socks, white Mary Janes.  Each dress was trimmed in a bright color.  They had head bands in the bright colors.  I told one of the Deli workers I hoped they spoke English, I wanted this wedding.  And they did!!!!!!!!!

The wedding was lovely.  The little girls stood by their respective parent.  The girls got tired toward the end and sat on the floor.  The dresses were puffed out around them.  It was lovely to look at.

I have a rule, I do not take pictures of the weddings for my blog.  It seems an invasion of their privacy.  But I asked if I could take a picture of the girls, and I would not show their faces.  The parents said yes.  They seemed so pleased I wanted to take the pictures.

The overskirt is tulle that is folded and comes back up to the waist.  It makes a pocket for the silk petals.  The top and the under skirt are of a satin like material.  The sashes and the petals are removable and the colors/items can be changed.  Be sure to click to see this larger.  It is well worth the click.

The girls loved their dresses.  They swayed and the petals moved around.  The little girl in orange held the overskirt up and watched the petals slide around.  They were so cute.

His daughter, her daughter, and they already felt like a family.  The girls held hands.  The oldest leaned over to me and whispered to me, “I’m going to be in the first grade.”  She was so proud of herself.

I fell in love with this family.  Not just the couple and their girls.  Her mother, aunts, his father.  They stole my heart.

Mike Sugerman’s Day With Me

Last Friday we had reporters at the County Building. They were there to get the word out about the County’s need for volunteer Marriage Commissioners.   I wrote about that last week.  And as  promised here is the update on Mike Sugerman’s report on KCBS.

Mike spent a large part of the day with me.  He was sworn in as a Marriage Commissioner and I trained him.  He shadowed me to see how we do weddings and then he was to do a ceremony.  Only everyone was too shy and didn’t want to be on the radio.  So he interviewed me and two other commissioners.  Finally we had a brave couple who would be on the radio.  The bride listened to him every morning, so was excited to have “that voice” do the ceremony.  He does have a magnificent voice.

Sneaky Marriage Desk Clerk D took pictures of the wedding. Some are through the glass door, some she took with door opened a little.

Mike doing a little interviewing.

Don Ford filming Mike doing the ceremony.  I am holding Mike’s recorder.

Another angle of the ceremony.

Us from the front.  Mike was having a great time.  Big smiles.

The witness taking pictures too.

Last shot of Mike as he pronounced them married.

He was high as a kite on excitement after the wedding.  He said he understood why we volunteered as Marriage Commissioners.  It was such a happy fun job. 

This morning Mike Sugerman gave his radio report.  The link goes to a written report.  Down in the middle of the page is a link (this is a small pop up window) to the audio report.  I have my fingers crossed this works.  Every one has had trouble with this.  If you have trouble, leave a comment and I will try to get a better link.

The on line news agency has not put up their report.  If it shows, I will link it too.

The Obama Connection

This will be a little long.  Get a drink, get comfy, and enjoy.

Monday was my day to volunteer at the Marriage Factory.  We knew President Obama was in Oakland.  The paper had given the routes he would be taking, and the streets that would be closed by security.  He was to have dinner off the main road close to us.  But he was being brought in through a different route.   Later he would be at the Fox Theater downtown.  Again we could get around those road closures.  He was no where close to the Marriage Factory.  Wrong!

Marty headed down  toward the Lake Merritt to avoid downtown.  We turn on Madison, and it was closed.  Marty kept turning, the roads were closed.  I was beginning to think we couldn’t even get home as they were closing roads behind us.  What was going on? 

I call to tell the clerks I can’t get there.  It is all blocked off.  Marty was determined.  He kept turning, and suddenly there was a street open.  Even Madison was open above the closure.  No parking allowed, lots of police and vans.  He dropped me off and we laughed and said hope he can get in to pick me up.

I asked the Counties Deputies what was going on.   They didn’t know but guessed Obama was making an unscheduled stop down the street.  Great.  I am locked in and the customers can’t get to us.  But I was wrong.  People parked several blocks away and hoofed it to us.  I was doing marriages.

Then the news ran through the building:  at 3:00 the President’s motorcade would go by our building.  At 5 minutes till the building was emptying out on the street.  Camera phones at the ready.  As I was headed out, K brought me a license.  I said, “I don’t think so.  I’ll be back in a little bit.”  She told her customers what was going on and they joined us on the sidewalk.

The couple was so excited.  They had gone to Obama’s inauguration.  Now Obama would be “there” for their wedding. 

The whole time we are standing there we can see the Interstate has been shut down.  (Major ramp just a few blocks away)  The motorcycle police ride back and forth.

First this way

Then back again

The police standing along the street look sterner and sterner.  And then we see the cars coming.  We had CHP, Oakland police, San Francisco police, Secret Service, more motorcycles, press vans, local officials, Hummers, and an ambulance. They are breaking the speed limit going the wrong way on a one way street.  It is good to be President.

This time it is for real.

Antennas galore.

A sign on the windshield said Wire 1.  Anyone know what that means?  Other vans said press, officials, stuff like that.

This is what we were waiting for, the limo with the flags and the Presidential Seal.  If you look closely you can see the reflection of us on the side of the car.  Even though the windows are heavily tinted, we could see someone waving at us.  We are sure it was Obama and not a flunky.  And then they were all gone.

I took the couple in and did their wedding.  She wore a white stretchy lace dress that had a slip under it.  Unfortunately the dress did not stretch enough and it and the slip rode up.  She spent most of the ceremony pulling one or the other down.  They were a sweet couple and really excited about Obama.  They do have a wedding story like no one else.

 I finish my last wedding, gather my stuff, and go around the corner to where Marty is parked.  The streets are closed off again.  What is going on?  Oh right, Obama has to leave where he is down the street and go to dinner. 

Marty sees the street in front of us is stopped and has been for 10 minutes.  He starts to back up and take a tunnel beside us.  Oh the big policeman did not like that move.  The tunnel is closed.  Really?  There is no barricade.  We don’t argue and go to the gridlock in front of us.  Marty finally sees a side street open and we swing around the Lake and gets to a street that will get us home. Success.

Well, we get to the main road to turn off onto our street.  The police are everywhere and are shutting down the side streets.  Guess who is coming in a different route than announced.  I guess this is how they keep him safe, unannounced routes. 

We were lucky.  Our street is a main artery and they are saving it until last to close.  We got home by the hardest.

Lots of a hassle when the president comes to town.  This was really bad because they were closing highways and streets at rush hour.  Well to be fair, rush hour here is 4:30-10 in the morning and 3-7.  It is hard not to mess up rush hour.

 

Weddings

Monday I did 5 marriage ceremonies. It was a nicely paced afternoon.  I would finish one wedding, go back to my desk, and then another license would be brought to me.  Five weddings and each one was different.

The first couple were both close to 50.  He wore a beautiful white three piece suit.  She wore a white silk suit that had a rolled collar and lapels. She had on fire engine red heels.   His mother was in a wheelchair and dressed to the nines.  She wore a white suit and a white hat that would have done Queen Elizabeth proud.  The brim was rolled up so her face showed.  And there was a fluttery delicate feather on the side.  The rest of the guests were dressed up too.  This couple was so happy and just beamed during the ceremony.

One couple had a very very loud little boy.  He was 4 and really all over the place.  He all but shouted every word he said.  I usually think I can out shout loud children and crying babies.  This kid had me worried, would I be heard?  I started the ceremony, and he stopped talking.  He sat still, listened, and watched what was going on.  As soon as the ceremony was over, he went hog wild again. 

The next couple was just fun and giddy.  Their witness had two huge Nikons and was snapping away.  The bride wore a white lacy dress, with a slip thank you very much.  We all laughed and cried together.  Mostly we laughed.

Couple four were in their early 30's and they were nervous wrecks.  They didn't know they had to have a witness, so we used the Deli guy D.  D kept trying to calm the couple down.  He told them this was the greatest day in their lives, but that tomorrow would be even better.  In the wedding room they were just too nervous to start the ceremony.  I hugged the bride and held her, and D hugged the groom.  We kinda sorta calmed them down and did the ceremony.  The couple was fine.  No one passed out.  No one ran away.  When the ceremony was over, the two of them laughed, and had huge smiles.

The last couple ended my day with a bad taste.  I started asking questions, rings? own vows?  The groom interrupted me and said, "All we want is our certificate.  We were married last weekend."  And I thought, "OK, you had a party, and you are not married."  I said you had a cultural wedding, and then I explained the three legal sentences plus a license that were needed for a marriage to be valid.  They stood there and all but patted their feet in boredom as I did the quick ceremony.

The afternoon as a whole was lovely.  We don't often get people like couple 5.  Most of our customers are happy and excited. 

The Week’s Weddings Part 2

 I did bare bone civil ceremonies for couples who had had a cultural wedding.  There were ceremonies for couples who had been together for years and years.  One of the couples, the groom was 54, the bride was 68.  He had never been married, this was her fifth marriage. One clerk said we will see her back next year.

One ceremony the bride was crying, not much but there were tears.  The groom was so worried.  He kept saying, “Don’t be sad, don’t be sad.”  She told him she wasn’t sad, just very emotional.

Not being unkind, but one couple looked a little strange together.  She was tall and big boned, not fat, just big boned.  He was tiny, tiny.  He looked like a jockey.  Maybe I thought that because the Kentucky Derby Festival was this week.  Anyway he was very emotional during his vows and cried.

When Marty dropped me off at the County Building on Wednesday, we saw a long dress and flowers heading toward the front door.  Well, there was a woman in the dress.   I lucked out and the couple spoke English and I was to do the ceremony.  She was from Italy and he was from Argentina.  They spoke English with heavy accents. 

The dress was one shouldered with a drape at the  bodice.  It was a silver blue heavy satin that went to the floor. The skirt was gored.  It was fitted to just mid thigh and they gently flared out.

The bride had a tiny “diamond” glued by one eye and another one on her check.  Her bare shoulder had a swirl of larger “diamonds”.  All very tasteful.  All very gorgeous.  Her bouquet was a mixture of pastel flowers.   The groom wore a rich blue suit with a blue shirt and tie.  They looked fabulous.

It was a busy week and fun.  I love this volunteer job.

 

The Ring Bearer was the Child From Hell

The first wedding on Monday almost did me in.  The couple was from India.  They had a toddler and a daughter around 7.  The daughter insisted on holding the rings.  I spent time with her showing how to cup her hand, how to open her hand so the parents could take the rings.  You think that sounds funny.  Even adults drop rings, put them on their fingers and the rings get stuck.  So a cupped hand is best.  It didn’t matter what I said,  she was going to do it her way.

The couple stood under our wedding arch, the groom holding the toddler.

The daughter, let’s call her the Child From Hell,  CFH jumps up from the bench and throws the mother’s ring in the floor.  We took the other ring from her.  CFH is whining and screaming, no words, just noise. She pulls the wedding arch down. She is in a full blown temper tantrum.  She wants to be held like the toddler.  This child was nearly 4 feet tall and probably weighed over 50 pounds.  Throughout the ceremony she hit her mother and father, kicked them, pulled on them, whined at the top of her lungs.   Temper, temper, Janet, don’t kill the child in front of the security camera.

The parents said nothing to her beyond a quiet don’t.  I told them we would continue the ceremony and act like CFH wasn’t there.  Of course I didn’t call her that to her parents.  I got them married and then downstairs to finish the paperwork.  The whole time CFH is still ranting and raving, punching and kicking.

While we were going home I talked about this with Marty.  My whole thing was get them married and get them out of the building.  Marty said I should have refused to marry them until the child was under control.  I think he is right.  But, I think if I had refused we would still be there waiting for them to control CFH.