Saturday, September 21, 2013
Joe sends updates from the Marriage Factory
It finally happened. You'd think, with me having married so many
couples, that it would've happened several or even many times, perhaps
as often as once a month. But no - never before. Not once. There
they were in the lobby - my first 2 couples of the day. Both were
young, both were opposite-sex pairs - and both brides were wearing the
To be clear, they weren't both stuffed into the same piece of cloth.
Rather, the design of their dresses was identical, from the cream
color and strapless bodice to the dark brown applique and asymmetrical
tulle knee-length hem. The brides noticed this, and the clerks did,
too. Luckily, everyone had a healthy sense of humor and good
priorities. Both couples were just happy to be getting married, and
each wished the other good luck. So much for the stereotype of catty
There were a lot of gowns this week, mostly white or off-white. They
ranged from strapless and shiny to lacy and macrame-like. Other
standouts include two grooms in gray suits, the first a beautiful
steel gray with a purple and white pocket square and glossy patent
leather loafers; the second a matte gray with a lavender vest and tie.
I went through a dozen couples before my first pair in street
The most alarming part of a ceremony happened when a keening wail
started just as I was about to pronounce a couple legally wed. I
thought it odd that someone would be playing a theremin in a
government building, but one of the couple had set an alarm to remind
her to add money to the parking meter. After the pronouncement, I
shooed her away to feed the meter while her new spouse collected the
license. They'd already paid the state once that day. No need to do
The most unusual wedding was one in which the couple chanted several
mantras before and after the ceremony to welcome their guests and
prepare themselves for the ceremony. It was lovely, and would have
been even more so had I not been running late for my bus back to work.
Ah, worldly concerns!