The process of being given the chemo is not terrible. You sit in a recliner and they keep hooking up different bags of fluids and medicines over a 5 hour period. Before that they gave me a huge amount of nausea medicine. I had two chemo cocktails at the hospital and they started my take home one. It is hooked into the port in my shoulder. There is a little grenade shaped ball that hangs down and sends the medicine into me.
I told them I can't sit long without ice for the back pain. So they gave me some ice packs, but not often. So the back was a big problem. The reason they couldn't put ice on me is a side effect of one of the many chemo medications. I will be very sensitive to cold. Ice on my back will cause the muscles to cramp. I am not to drink anything that is cold or has ice in it. My throat will have spasms and I could choke. I must wear gloves because any metal will feel so cold it would feel like a burn. Even taking something out of the refrigerator could cause a problem.
When I got home I was tired just being up so long and hurting. I napped and then it was supper time. UGH! The smell was awful. The very same home made soup Marty had made for me and I had loved the night before. I was so nauseated. I made myself eat the broth and skipped the noodles and chicken.
I was very upset last night, I didn't expect to be tired and nauseated so soon. Maybe it was just me, maybe the chemo. Whatever it is I walked around the apartment carrying a wastebasket with a plastic liner in it. And I will continue that for a long time I am sure. I have a barf bag in my purse, just in case.
I don't feel very funny today. I feel teary and sad. I want to waller in the unfairness of this. I want to kick and scream. I will pull it together. But Marty and today's chauffer Kirsten said I am allowed to absorb all that is happening and just feel it. Maybe tomorrow I will be perkier.
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