Thursday, October 16, 2014

Chemo Day, not bad, yet awful

The process of being given the chemo is not terrible.  You sit in a recliner and they keep hooking up different bags of fluids and medicines over a 5 hour period.  Before that they gave me a huge amount of nausea medicine.  I had two chemo cocktails at the hospital and they started  my take home one.  It is hooked into the port in my shoulder.  There is a little grenade shaped ball that hangs down and sends the medicine into me. 

I told them I can't sit long without ice for the back pain.  So they gave me some ice packs, but not often.  So the back was a big problem.  The reason they couldn't put ice on me is a side effect of one of the many chemo medications.  I will be very sensitive to cold.  Ice on my back will cause the muscles to cramp.  I am not to drink anything that is cold or has ice in it.  My throat will have spasms and I could choke.  I  must wear gloves because any metal will feel so cold it would feel like a burn.  Even taking something out of the refrigerator could cause a problem.

When I got home I was tired just being up so long and hurting.  I napped and then it was supper time. UGH!  The smell was awful.  The very same home made soup Marty had made for me and I had loved the night before.  I was so nauseated.   I made myself eat the broth and skipped the noodles and chicken. 

I was very upset last night, I didn't expect to be tired and nauseated so soon.  Maybe it was just me, maybe the chemo.  Whatever it is I walked around the apartment carrying a wastebasket with a plastic liner in it. And I will continue that for a long time I am sure. I have a barf bag in my purse, just in case.

I don't feel very funny today.  I feel teary and sad.  I want to waller in the unfairness of this.  I want to kick and scream.  I will pull it together.  But Marty and today's chauffer Kirsten said I am allowed to absorb all that is happening and just feel it.  Maybe tomorrow I will be perkier.

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