Wednesday I was at the Marriage Factory. We were fairly busy, but not slammed like last week. Clerk M handed me the license and said, "They're a nice little couple. She is African American and he is Indian with the whole family with them." M then walked off. I started checking the license. Bride born 1940, never been married. Groom born 1975, married once. One of those dates has to be a misprint. I take it back to M and she starts laughing. "I wondered how long it would take you to come back to me." All the info is correct.
I am not one to judge. Love comes to all ages. So I gather everyone up and we go upstairs to the wedding room. As we walk in the bride says, "Where do you want us to stand? Let's get this over with. I have to go to work." That really sounds loving. The whole time everyone except the bride is talking in what I guess to be Hindi. I get information and give instructions and we begin.
Everyone is still talking as I am doing the ceremony. The groom is watching one of the men closely. I ask do you take this woman . . . nothing. The man barks out something in Hindi and the groom says yes. I yelled, "Hold it, doesn't he speak English?" Everyone, except the groom, says yes, he speaks English. I tell them I have to be sure, it is illegal to do the ceremony if he can't understand me. They all keep talking for the groom. Finally I get them to be quiet and question the groom. (I later found out M had done the same thing.) The groom did understand English fairly well. So we moved on in the ceremony.
During the ring ceremony he put the ring on her right hand, OK, some cultures do that. Then he slipped the ring back off and palmed it. She put the ring on his left hand and he kept it on. This is just weird. They then back away from each other. I pronounced them married and they just walked away from each other.
She was leaving when I told her the witnesses needed to sign, and they would then get their certified copy of the license. She didn't want to wait for the paper work. I explained if there was an error, we all had to re sign. She was up in my face with I'm busy and have to get to work. I said fine, leave. If there is an error, then you will all need to be here at 8:30 in the morning to re sign the license. While she was telling us how busy she was, Marriage Desk Clerk D found an error. The Bride decided she could wait.
While waiting the couple was talking privately, but I could hear them. She said something like that's done, do you have everything you will need? She signed the license again, and left while the rest of us signed.
After everyone left, D and I talked about the couple. We wondered how much the bride was paid to marry this man. Trust me there was no love in the room.
Just how dumb do they think immigration is?
Showing posts with label immigration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label immigration. Show all posts
Friday, January 6, 2012
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
X marks the spot
Clerk R put the license on my desk and said, “The couple is interesting.” I asked just what she meant. They were acting all lovey dovey, but aren’t. Also they were dropping the immigration word a lot. The bride was 26 years older than the groom. Now I don’t worry about age differences but usually it is a warning sign.
The couple was from Afghanistan, as was the witness, the bride’s aunt. The couple were friendly but didn’t seem “in love”. No rules you have to love each other to marry. I did the ceremony. I signed the license and the souvenir certificate. I called the witness up and she said by rote, “I don’t speak English”. I said, “That’s OK.” I show her where to sign on the souvenir certificate. She has trouble holding the pen and then marks an X.
Holy s#*t! She can’t read or write. This is a woman of least 70 who grew up in a village somewhere in Afghanistan. To make an X is legal. But you have to have a witness and sometimes notarize the mark. I don’t know what to do. I tell them it is legal to use an X but we aren’t signing the legal license until I know exactly what we need to do.
Clerk D to the rescue. She thinks she knows what to do, but is going to check with her supervisor B. B tells her to witness the X and then to type the woman’s name and put in witnessed by D. Also we had to see a picture ID. The Aunt makes her X on the license and D does all of the above.
The whole time the couple is asking us questions about whether Immigration will accept this. We tell them this is the legal way to sign an X. So they should be fine. They ask other questions and we give them our stock answer, You need to talk to an Immigration lawyer.
The couple was from Afghanistan, as was the witness, the bride’s aunt. The couple were friendly but didn’t seem “in love”. No rules you have to love each other to marry. I did the ceremony. I signed the license and the souvenir certificate. I called the witness up and she said by rote, “I don’t speak English”. I said, “That’s OK.” I show her where to sign on the souvenir certificate. She has trouble holding the pen and then marks an X.
Holy s#*t! She can’t read or write. This is a woman of least 70 who grew up in a village somewhere in Afghanistan. To make an X is legal. But you have to have a witness and sometimes notarize the mark. I don’t know what to do. I tell them it is legal to use an X but we aren’t signing the legal license until I know exactly what we need to do.
Clerk D to the rescue. She thinks she knows what to do, but is going to check with her supervisor B. B tells her to witness the X and then to type the woman’s name and put in witnessed by D. Also we had to see a picture ID. The Aunt makes her X on the license and D does all of the above.
The whole time the couple is asking us questions about whether Immigration will accept this. We tell them this is the legal way to sign an X. So they should be fine. They ask other questions and we give them our stock answer, You need to talk to an Immigration lawyer.
Saturday, November 12, 2011
Weddings high tech, immigration, too young
As regular readers know, I hate doing immigration weddings. They never say they are, but we can tell. They are always in a hurry, and some act as if they just met on the corner. I had an immigration wedding this week, and it was great.
The couple is French Canadian, lovely accents. She is here on a work visa ( she works at UC Berkeley) and he is on a tourist visa. They own a house, own two cars, and have two adorable children. When they go back to Canada he has to really jump through hoops to get back into the USA. Tourist are supposed to go home after a couple of months. They have been together 13 years and decided to marry so immigration will quit hassling him. Isn't it amazing we won't let Canadians live with a partner, yet we let all kinds of kooks from terrorist land waltz in.
One couple took pictures in a very high tech way. The witness had her iPhone out to take pictures and then remembered she had her ipad with her. She used that to take the pictures. I am so far behind, I didn't even know ipads had a camera. The pictures turned out beautifully.
Just to show what a great product Apple turns out, one wedding used an iPhone to take pictures. They turned out great also. Oh I forgot to tell you the screen was broken, big crazed cracks in it. But it worked.
As I remind you every week, love comes to all ages. Love comes to couples I don't think should be marrying ( 7 weddings already between them and they are in their 30's). Love hits all kinds of people, but when really young couples come to marry the clerks and I get upset. We are so much older and we know how hard marriage can be. We know going to school and running a home is really hard. We are worried for them.
A couple came in, he was 20 she was 18. The clerk told me she wanted to refuse to sell them a license (we don't have that option, if a legal age, we sell it to them). She wanted to scream at them, "Do your parents know you are here?" She controlled herself and did her job. Now it was my problem.
The bride was so nervous and shaky, he seemed calm. I asked it they were ready. I told them we had all the time in the world, we don't start until they feel comfortable. They say they are ready. I did not feel comfortable that the bride really wanted to get married. I felt she loved him, just she seemed unsure. I stalled and then had to go for it. I did our longest fluffiest ceremony. If she wanted to back out, I wanted to give her time. She didn't back out, and I pronounced them married. I thought she would calm down them, nope. She was as shaky when she left as when she came in. I am thinking family doesn't know they were marrying and she is afraid to tell them. One clerk thought maybe she was marrying because she is pregnant and scared.
As I say, I have no endings.
The couple is French Canadian, lovely accents. She is here on a work visa ( she works at UC Berkeley) and he is on a tourist visa. They own a house, own two cars, and have two adorable children. When they go back to Canada he has to really jump through hoops to get back into the USA. Tourist are supposed to go home after a couple of months. They have been together 13 years and decided to marry so immigration will quit hassling him. Isn't it amazing we won't let Canadians live with a partner, yet we let all kinds of kooks from terrorist land waltz in.
One couple took pictures in a very high tech way. The witness had her iPhone out to take pictures and then remembered she had her ipad with her. She used that to take the pictures. I am so far behind, I didn't even know ipads had a camera. The pictures turned out beautifully.
Just to show what a great product Apple turns out, one wedding used an iPhone to take pictures. They turned out great also. Oh I forgot to tell you the screen was broken, big crazed cracks in it. But it worked.
As I remind you every week, love comes to all ages. Love comes to couples I don't think should be marrying ( 7 weddings already between them and they are in their 30's). Love hits all kinds of people, but when really young couples come to marry the clerks and I get upset. We are so much older and we know how hard marriage can be. We know going to school and running a home is really hard. We are worried for them.
A couple came in, he was 20 she was 18. The clerk told me she wanted to refuse to sell them a license (we don't have that option, if a legal age, we sell it to them). She wanted to scream at them, "Do your parents know you are here?" She controlled herself and did her job. Now it was my problem.
The bride was so nervous and shaky, he seemed calm. I asked it they were ready. I told them we had all the time in the world, we don't start until they feel comfortable. They say they are ready. I did not feel comfortable that the bride really wanted to get married. I felt she loved him, just she seemed unsure. I stalled and then had to go for it. I did our longest fluffiest ceremony. If she wanted to back out, I wanted to give her time. She didn't back out, and I pronounced them married. I thought she would calm down them, nope. She was as shaky when she left as when she came in. I am thinking family doesn't know they were marrying and she is afraid to tell them. One clerk thought maybe she was marrying because she is pregnant and scared.
As I say, I have no endings.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Not so much fun doing the weddings.
Monday I only performed 3 wedding ceremonies, and Wednesday none. Where have all the loving couples gone?
Monday I had one sweet loving couple. They had several friends with them and her daughter was the ring bearer. This one wedding kept me from losing all faith in marriage is a loving wonderful thing.
Wedding number 1:
Background, bride was an American citizen, groom was not. A third party was doing all the talking, another witness is taking lots and lots of pictures.
The clerk handed me the license and said this is an immigration wedding. Oh crap! I hate, hate these. They don't tell us that the purpose of the wedding is to get someone a green card. But it is so very obvious.
I start asking questions, lots of questions. One witness is taking pictures fast and furiously for proof. And the organizer is trying to answer the questions before the bride can. I looked at the organizer and said, " If they can't understand me and can't respond to my questions, I can not legally marry them." She backed off. I asked if they had their own vows or did they want to use the traditional vows. The bride said, "Oh, I'm not ready to say vows to him yet." That right there tells you a lot.
I did a down and dirty ceremony. Do you . . ., Do you . . ., and then By the power vested in me . . .
I hate doing the three legal sentence ceremony. No romance, no feeling, no happiness. It is a business deal.
Wedding number 2:
I am back at my desk waiting for the next license. The clerks had told me two were in the works. I am reading, the clerks in the back are working away on their computers. Power failure. We are in an area that has no windows, it is as dark as the inside of a cow's stomach. I don't do dark. Let's say dark makes me panic. Luckily I have a flashlight app on my phone. No dark, YAY! Then the generator kicked in. Not dark, but sort of like half power. The clerk brings me the license.
The couple is dressed up for their wedding. The guests are pretty spiffy too. I ask if everyone is healthy, they are going to climb stairs. No elevators when the generators is running. We have to use the stairs to the second floor. But this is like a third floor climb. The lobby has really really high ceilings, so lot of steps. We go upstairs, me carrying my trusty phone in case the lights fail again.
The bride asks me if their friend, who is an ordained minister, may do the ceremony. I tell her no, this is a civil ceremony in a government building. He may say some words but I have to do the ceremony. When we turn the corner the bride sees our nice wedding room. She freaked out. She was not going into that room. If they were in there it would look like a chapel. She then refused to have any vows in the wedding. She wanted me to just sign the license and say they were married. Why the big freak out you say. They were having a large wedding in July. Therefore they couldn't do anything that was like a wedding. So I told her no, I couldn't just sign the license. I would take them back to the clerk. They could see if they could get their money back for the ceremony.
No, she had to get married today. So standing in the little lobby, I again did the three sentence ceremony. The bride would not allow any pictures taken. Why they bothered to dress up and bring guests I have no clue. What did they think a civil ceremony was? It was very weird.
It was a bad day. I had to do two three sentence weddings. The first one I understand why the bride didn't want anything romantic. But the second couple, no clue what the problem was.
Monday I had one sweet loving couple. They had several friends with them and her daughter was the ring bearer. This one wedding kept me from losing all faith in marriage is a loving wonderful thing.
Wedding number 1:
Background, bride was an American citizen, groom was not. A third party was doing all the talking, another witness is taking lots and lots of pictures.
The clerk handed me the license and said this is an immigration wedding. Oh crap! I hate, hate these. They don't tell us that the purpose of the wedding is to get someone a green card. But it is so very obvious.
I start asking questions, lots of questions. One witness is taking pictures fast and furiously for proof. And the organizer is trying to answer the questions before the bride can. I looked at the organizer and said, " If they can't understand me and can't respond to my questions, I can not legally marry them." She backed off. I asked if they had their own vows or did they want to use the traditional vows. The bride said, "Oh, I'm not ready to say vows to him yet." That right there tells you a lot.
I did a down and dirty ceremony. Do you . . ., Do you . . ., and then By the power vested in me . . .
I hate doing the three legal sentence ceremony. No romance, no feeling, no happiness. It is a business deal.
Wedding number 2:
I am back at my desk waiting for the next license. The clerks had told me two were in the works. I am reading, the clerks in the back are working away on their computers. Power failure. We are in an area that has no windows, it is as dark as the inside of a cow's stomach. I don't do dark. Let's say dark makes me panic. Luckily I have a flashlight app on my phone. No dark, YAY! Then the generator kicked in. Not dark, but sort of like half power. The clerk brings me the license.
The couple is dressed up for their wedding. The guests are pretty spiffy too. I ask if everyone is healthy, they are going to climb stairs. No elevators when the generators is running. We have to use the stairs to the second floor. But this is like a third floor climb. The lobby has really really high ceilings, so lot of steps. We go upstairs, me carrying my trusty phone in case the lights fail again.
The bride asks me if their friend, who is an ordained minister, may do the ceremony. I tell her no, this is a civil ceremony in a government building. He may say some words but I have to do the ceremony. When we turn the corner the bride sees our nice wedding room. She freaked out. She was not going into that room. If they were in there it would look like a chapel. She then refused to have any vows in the wedding. She wanted me to just sign the license and say they were married. Why the big freak out you say. They were having a large wedding in July. Therefore they couldn't do anything that was like a wedding. So I told her no, I couldn't just sign the license. I would take them back to the clerk. They could see if they could get their money back for the ceremony.
No, she had to get married today. So standing in the little lobby, I again did the three sentence ceremony. The bride would not allow any pictures taken. Why they bothered to dress up and bring guests I have no clue. What did they think a civil ceremony was? It was very weird.
It was a bad day. I had to do two three sentence weddings. The first one I understand why the bride didn't want anything romantic. But the second couple, no clue what the problem was.
Monday, September 14, 2009
WEDDINGS AND SO MUCH MORE
First, a heads up. Blogger has changed all the tools: spell check gone, fonts, colors, formatting. So I am sure there is stuff wrong. I will figure it out. Bear with me.
Today I was called at home by clerk C and told, "Don't eat lunch." And she hung up. I figured they were having a pot luck and I was invited. They have done that before. Well, it was better than that. I arrived and my desk was decorated with crepe paper, there was a bouquet of sunflowers, and a lovely card from all at Vitals. The card and flowers made me cry. They thanked me for the long hours and hard work of 09-09-09. And then we had pizza. It was a sweet, loving gesture. And I hugged them and thanked them for caring.
If you have ever volunteered you know it doesn't usually work this way. You don't feel part of the team, you just do your thing and stay out of the way. Not at the County Recorder's office. They love the volunteers, and they make us feel so important and cared for.
Now to the weddings. Slow paced day, only four for me to do. Two really stand out. I checked a license and it had one divorce marked for the bride ( final in 2001) with a married name, yet no different name for her birth name. That had to be changed. Reprint, re sign. At the elevator the bride and one of the witnesses said the divorce isn't final yet. They said we can do an amendment when the papers come through. WHAT??? They handed me papers to show it was in court. I don't do the paper work, I just marry. Back to the clerk. C said, it is final, but she doesn't remember the date and it has all been checked out. OK.
In the elevator the bride says, "These papers are for my first marriage. I am waiting on my second divorce papers." WTH?? "The divorce isn't final yet." I said, "I can't marry you if you are still married." I take her into the marriage desk. And explain what is going on. Then the bride tells M, " I was divorced in 2003." I did finally marry them. Why did she bring papers for her first marriage, and only mark one marriage on the license? Even after we talked about the second marriage, she kept saying she would come back and amend the license. The groom we figured was paid to marry her. He thought long and hard before saying yes. And a very polite kiss at the end.
It seems she has problems with immigration. We have to take the word of the couple. Immigration doesn't. They will insist on clear paper work. I think she will be on a boat back to the Philippines shortly. The groom maybe will be in jail.
Last wedding was lovely. Both of them well over 6 feet tall. A good looking couple, and they just glowed with love. She had on a long black sheath with spaghetti straps. The dress draped low in the back. The dress was lined in red, so the drape and the edges of the dress were red, lovely. They were so happy, so in love. It took the bad taste of the previous marriage out of my mouth.
Today I was called at home by clerk C and told, "Don't eat lunch." And she hung up. I figured they were having a pot luck and I was invited. They have done that before. Well, it was better than that. I arrived and my desk was decorated with crepe paper, there was a bouquet of sunflowers, and a lovely card from all at Vitals. The card and flowers made me cry. They thanked me for the long hours and hard work of 09-09-09. And then we had pizza. It was a sweet, loving gesture. And I hugged them and thanked them for caring.
If you have ever volunteered you know it doesn't usually work this way. You don't feel part of the team, you just do your thing and stay out of the way. Not at the County Recorder's office. They love the volunteers, and they make us feel so important and cared for.
Now to the weddings. Slow paced day, only four for me to do. Two really stand out. I checked a license and it had one divorce marked for the bride ( final in 2001) with a married name, yet no different name for her birth name. That had to be changed. Reprint, re sign. At the elevator the bride and one of the witnesses said the divorce isn't final yet. They said we can do an amendment when the papers come through. WHAT??? They handed me papers to show it was in court. I don't do the paper work, I just marry. Back to the clerk. C said, it is final, but she doesn't remember the date and it has all been checked out. OK.
In the elevator the bride says, "These papers are for my first marriage. I am waiting on my second divorce papers." WTH?? "The divorce isn't final yet." I said, "I can't marry you if you are still married." I take her into the marriage desk. And explain what is going on. Then the bride tells M, " I was divorced in 2003." I did finally marry them. Why did she bring papers for her first marriage, and only mark one marriage on the license? Even after we talked about the second marriage, she kept saying she would come back and amend the license. The groom we figured was paid to marry her. He thought long and hard before saying yes. And a very polite kiss at the end.
It seems she has problems with immigration. We have to take the word of the couple. Immigration doesn't. They will insist on clear paper work. I think she will be on a boat back to the Philippines shortly. The groom maybe will be in jail.
Last wedding was lovely. Both of them well over 6 feet tall. A good looking couple, and they just glowed with love. She had on a long black sheath with spaghetti straps. The dress draped low in the back. The dress was lined in red, so the drape and the edges of the dress were red, lovely. They were so happy, so in love. It took the bad taste of the previous marriage out of my mouth.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
WEDNESDAY THOUGHTS
Today was a slow day for marriages. I only performed 5 or 6 ceremonies. I always lose count after the first couple of weddings. I think I will know, but the licences start piling up at the 3:00 rush and I just do weddings.
Couples must be clocked in the computer by 4:00 in order for us to perform a ceremony. Most of them seem to show up about 3:00. We figure they work through lunch and then take off early and come get married. That's fine, but some days we have weddings to do until 5:00 or 5:30. The building closes at 4:30 and lots of staff go home then. Some days when I finish there is just me, the sheriff''s deputy and the marriage clerk left in the building. Once I came down and the lights were off where my belongings were.
But as I said, a slow day today. Only one really stands out. A couple who were from Afghanistan. She had lived here a while and was a citizen, and he had just arrived recently from Afghanistan. They were rushing to do a civil marriage for immigration purposes. They had done a cultural wedding in Afghanistan. They had lots of pictures taken, still and video, to prove the wedding. They were in love, but it just didn't have much joy. It was for legal purposes. I hope the wedding in Afghanistan was cheerier. California has an optional box to check bride or groom,( That was the result of a lawsuit. Don't even ask.) They were afraid to check it because Immigration might make something of it. I don't know what, but they were afraid. That seemed sad to me to be afraid of the government. Upset by, mad at it, but not afraid of them in my personal life. We natural born Americans have no idea how free we really are.
Couples must be clocked in the computer by 4:00 in order for us to perform a ceremony. Most of them seem to show up about 3:00. We figure they work through lunch and then take off early and come get married. That's fine, but some days we have weddings to do until 5:00 or 5:30. The building closes at 4:30 and lots of staff go home then. Some days when I finish there is just me, the sheriff''s deputy and the marriage clerk left in the building. Once I came down and the lights were off where my belongings were.
But as I said, a slow day today. Only one really stands out. A couple who were from Afghanistan. She had lived here a while and was a citizen, and he had just arrived recently from Afghanistan. They were rushing to do a civil marriage for immigration purposes. They had done a cultural wedding in Afghanistan. They had lots of pictures taken, still and video, to prove the wedding. They were in love, but it just didn't have much joy. It was for legal purposes. I hope the wedding in Afghanistan was cheerier. California has an optional box to check bride or groom,( That was the result of a lawsuit. Don't even ask.) They were afraid to check it because Immigration might make something of it. I don't know what, but they were afraid. That seemed sad to me to be afraid of the government. Upset by, mad at it, but not afraid of them in my personal life. We natural born Americans have no idea how free we really are.
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