More from my backlog of weddings

One wedding the bride was 20 years older than the groom.  This is a type of wedding I love to do.  It reminds me of my Mother and Papa Jack.  Mother was about 20 years older than Jack  when they married and they were together 50 years.  As I often say, age has nothing to do with love.  And this couple was bursting with love for each other. 

Then there was the couple who had a lot of baggage.  He had been married twice before and she had already been married 3 times.  They were older ( he was 82, she was 62)  but that was a lot of marriages between them.  The thing most memorable from this ceremony is the child from Hell.  He was 4 or 5, old enough to know better.  He was kicking people, screaming, throwing toys, standing on the pews and kicking them. Not one adult told him no.  I told him no when he was on the pews.  I explained to the adults that children had bled when they fell and hit their heads on the pew.   Still no one corrected him. He needed a knot yanked in his tail. 

Now to our hyper bride.  She was stunning in a long white dress with a fingertip veil.  He was in a blue suit.  Most of the guests were dressed very nicely.  There was just one problem, the bride was so very nervous.  She was bouncing off the walls nervous.  She was loud, crass, crude.  After one really awful crude action, I stopped all the stupidity.  I told them no pictures until I got the bride calmed down.  I took her up front, called the groom up, and told her no talking just breathe deeply.  I told the groom to talk to her and hold her.  She was shaking so hard I was afraid she would fall over.  He held her and talked quietly to her, and she became calmer.  Finally I was able to do the ceremony. 

I have had a lot of nervous brides and grooms.  But never have I had the craziness of this bride. 

Lots of weddings and then hardly any

As I have said, December is as busy for weddings as June.  Monday I was busy.  Wednesday I did one wedding. That morning they only had one wedding.  No one could figure out where the couples were.

The way one couple and their witness were dressed was in your face.  The bride had on a long black sweater that hit at mid thigh. Right, a sweater no pants, tights, or leggings.  She wore hooker boots that were high heeled and came almost to the bottom of the sweater.  The groom wore a baseball cap backwards and droopy on the floor jeans.  The witness had dreadlocks, backwards baseball cap, droopy on the floor jeans.  The crotch was below the knees.  The witness was texting, texting, texting.   The couple had a toddler who the witness was really good with. The witness was helping with letters and colors as we did the final legal work on the license.  I commented on how the child was lucky and had three parents.  The bride commented, "Yes, my sister is really good with him."  Sister, sister, OMW, I thought she was a man.

The next couple I asked is everyone here.  Are we ready to go upstairs?  Yes we are ready.  We get to the elevator and guess what.  They had to go outside and round up people.  We get upstairs, and I realize the groom speaks no English.  She only speaks English and no Spanish.  They speak the language of love.  I gave the license to D and she did a bilingual ceremony.

Indian groom and Russian bride. Thankfully they both spoke perfect English. He had on lovely black suit and a crisp white shirt with French cuffs.  She was a red head with a porcelain complexion. She wore a very simple cream colored sheath with a draped neck line. She carried coral colored roses. One of their guests had a serious Nikon camera.  He was snapping pictures right and left.  He was flirty and fun.  He kept taking pictures of me.  I told him no one takes pictures of me, just of the bride and groom.  He said but you are so beautiful and snapped away.  Who could argue with that?  He wanted pictures of me, snap away.

The next bride was so terribly nervous.  She looked so scared.  During the ceremony she was visibly shaking.  You have heard the the expression their knees were knocking?  That was the bride, her whole body was trembling.  He held her, patted her on the back, she was a wreck. I really thought she was going to pass out.  She made it through the ceremony without hitting the floor.  By the time we recorded the license she had become somewhat calmer.

I had a license on my desk for over an hour.  It had a post it that said waiting for witness.  The clerk saw it sitting there and said she would ask them the status of the witness.  She came back and said they are gone.  She then said she would call them and see what was going on.  She found them and brought them to the wedding room as I was finishing up on my fifth wedding of the day.  Except the bride is missing again.   Finally the bride shows up and I got them married.

Wednesday one wedding.  We only did two all day.  The license was out of county.  So no point in checking it.  We are not allowed to reprint another county's license.  The couple is laughing, not taking the ceremony seriously. They both grab one of our silk flower bouquets.  They laugh, it's all fun. And I then begin the ceremony.  The bride gets really nervous.  Tears start threatening to fall.  I hand her a tissue.  He held her and and they couldn't let go.  After the ceremony she is no calmer.  They have been together for years.  But they realize, this is a life changing event.