Once upon a time, in a land far far away . . .

Sometime around 1968 CHEVRON transferred Gary from Florida to Northern Kentucky. (Northern Kentucky is a large region of many little towns, across the river from Cincinnati.)  Marty also worked for CHEVRON. Gary asked me to help his wife, Susan, learn the area while house hunting. Happily they bought just a couple of blocks from our home.  From that time on we became close friends.

They had a son, Doug, who was around 2 years old. I had a son the next year and then they had another son.  Our three boys grew up together.  We were transferred to the same places a couple of times.  When in different towns we would vacation together.  When apart we have used instant messaging, email and long long phone calls to stay in touch.  We are now trying to teach Gary and Susan how to SKYPE for really fun phone calls.

Anyway, we have kept up.  When Doug and Andrea married in Dallas, we went to the wedding.  I must say the most fun wedding I have ever attended.  Food, food, parties, live bands, wine, food, dancing, bubbles. When our son married in 2000 Susan, Gary, and Doug and his wife came to California for our event.  We later found out Andrea was then pregnant with triplets. 

Last night we met the triplets.  The family is in the Bay Area for spring break. (Remember the storms I told you about?  Still raining)  They invited us to dinner last night.  Doug asked us to pick a place, and we met at Tian Sing in San Francisco.  The food is as good as it looks on the web site. We had a slowly paced meal with lots of dishes to choose from.

The triplets are 11 and in the 5th grade.  They are charming, fun, and well behaved enough to let the adults catch up.  They joined in the conversation some, but mostly listened.  We had such fun talking about past happenings and finding out where we all are in our lives now.  I was pleased to find out Doug reads my blog.

Some of the stories we told are worth a blog alone. And some we ran out of time and couldn't relive. Doug and another CHEVRON kid in our hot tub and then their race to catch a plane.  The two families' trips to Disney World.  The world famous Canasta parties, grass sledding on cardboard, Doug's dog snatching cookies from Erik's hand, the famous picking pears trip.  We have had over 40 years of friendship and love between two clans.  It was great to meet the third generation.  With Facebook we are able to watch them grow up too.

We never know how many will marry

Monday, if you remember,  I did no weddings.  Wednesday I wasn't even to my desk when I was told a couple had been waiting for 30 minutes. That afternoon the Marriage Desk Clerk D and I did 11 weddings.  Yesterday I wrote about the storm on Tuesday, Wednesday was worse.  Why were these people out in that awful weather?

The first couple to marry were older, he was 65 and she was 54.  He said his vows with strength and determination, never taking his eyes off his bride.  Their witness was a worker at the Deli.  She is young, self supporting, and in her third year of college.  The groom handed her a large tip and said a young person in college needed all the help they could get. 

The next bride was tiny, maybe a size 4 or 6.  When she took her coat off, her blouse pulled up.  This tiny thing was wearing Spanx.  And I figured out she had on lower body Spanx too.  She kept pulling at the legs of her jeans.  Why, why would such a little person think she needed Spanx?

An Asian couple was dressed very properly for a wedding, sort of.  He wore a gorgeous blue suit with a grey tie.  She wore a Grecian style long white dress.  It had a deep decolletage that was filled in with a red bra.  It gets better.  She was cold so under her wedding dress, she wore black leggings.  Thankfully they did not show.  Her shoes you ask.  Spring grass green suede wedge booties.  Now I loved the booties.  She told me her grandmother bought them for her.  This couple was very quiet and serious during the ceremony.  When I pronounced them married he kissed her and she picked up her bouquet and held it above her head like a triumphant conqueror.  The room erupted into laughter.

The next couple had a little boy around 3.  He was playing with their camera and dropped it.  Daddy fussed at him and took it away from him.  Huge huge screaming temper tantrum.  We aren't in the wedding room yet.  I am worried.  He calms down but is sulking.  The parents want him to stand with them during the ceremony.  He said, "No, I want to sit here and cry."  And he did, very quietly.

There were some problems with licenses, most the customers' fault.  One a clerk's.  We had two brothers wanting to marry in a double ceremony. One groom just turned 18 the other groom was 20.  Two clerks were doing their licenses and it did not go well.  The couples could not make decisions.  They kept asking for help from parents.  The big hang up was the brides taking the grooms' last name, or to hyphenate.  They made a decision the licenses were printed and signed.  No, we changed our minds.  So both licenses are changed, printed again, and signed again.  Everybody is happy.  The clerks gave me the licenses and asked me to take the group up to D, they wanted the ceremony in Spanish.  I call the 4 names and all hell breaks loose.  They say there are mistakes on the licenses.  They speak little English and I speak no Spanish.  I take them to a bilingual clerk.  They have changed their minds again!  She handles it, reprints, and I finally get them upstairs.  A simple 10 minute at the clerks' windows took 30.

I took the last couple (I thought) of the day into D's office to record their license.  D said there is another couple downstairs ready to marry, will I stay?  They are older and one is in a wheelchair. It is only 4:15, plenty of time to do a wedding and leave at 4:30 when Marty comes to get me.  I go down to my desk, no license.  I look in the lobby, the couple is still at the clerk's window.  Someone told D a big fat fib.  They are not ready.  I said something about it being so late and the license not done yet to a lead clerk.  She was not happy.  She had told the clerk no ceremony, it was 15 minutes after we cut off the ceremonies.  The clerk ignored that and told the couple we would do a ceremony. 

Now I was ticked.  I don't mind staying if the couple are punched in on time.  I don't mind staying if the clerks ask me would I please stay late.  But to tell us that the license is ready to go, to ignore a Superior's ruling, to just lie about it to the Marriage Desk Clerk,  that was just wrong.  I came close to just gathering my stuff and leaving, Marty was sitting out front.  But I stayed and did the ceremony.  Which meant I was 20 minutes late leaving. 

Clerks do not abuse the goodness of the volunteer!

Rain, School, and no lovely lunch

Tuesday the storm door opened with a vengeance.  There were wrecks everywhere, blocked tunnels, flooded roads, and high wind warnings on the bridge.  Luckily Marty and I know how to get places without using the major highways.  He got me to Kaiser on time, but many parents weren't able to do that.  The school secretary told me there were about 10 students per classroom.  Kids drug in for nearly an hour.

As every parent knows, rain sets off children.  Children go bonkers.  Now multiply that by 25 children and you have a classroom.  Teachers really really hate rain.  And guess what, it was a day we had to do a standardized math test.  Plus class pictures.  It was a loud day.  Children forgot rules.  Even when I read to them, they could not settle down.  If you know a teacher, hug her/him, send her/him a sorry it is raining note.  Fill a thermos with Margaritas and take it to her/him.

I was to go to lunch after my time at school.  A rep from my school, Eastern Kentucky University, had called a few weeks ago and set up a lunch.  I knew she was going to ask for money.  I knew I wasn't going to give her any.  She asked me to pick the restaurant and I suggested Chu.  I really love this place and wanted to go on her money. 

The rep was staying in the city.  She is from a small town and had commented on how driving in California is a challenge.  She would have to be on the bridge with the high winds, dodge wrecks, flooded areas.  I couldn't do that to her.  I called and canceled.  I told her I wouldn't be giving any money and I just didn't feel right putting her at risk just for a nice lunch.  The poor girl thanked me and thanked me.  She had been really worried about the trip across the Bay.

Quiet afternoon on the wedding front

Today was Marriage Factory Day.  I did my hair and make up, dressed in my Big Girl clothes, I was ready to do marriage ceremonies.  I arrived and several clerks said they were so glad I was there.  The morning had been busy.

Well, for me, not so much. Not a wedding all afternoon.  I sat and read.  It was a good book but I am there for the weddings.  I even dozed off a couple of times, the time change hit me hard this year.  Anyway I was told all about the seven weddings that morning.  Then Clerk D told me the Occupiers had been there.

The Occupiers were going to all county Clerk Recoders' offices to protest the "theft of homes" by banks. Ours turned out to be a non event.  Three people showed up, put crime scene tape around poles and stood there for an hour.  A reporter, maybe Jimmy Olsen, rode up on his bike, asked a couple of questions, and left.  The Occupiers then left also.

This was a day you could say was wasted for me.  But I don't.  I was there to help.  The staff was glad I was there.  They knew if people showed up, I would handle it.   They hate the days volunteers aren't there. 

An Evening in San Francisco

Friends asked us to join them for dinner Friday night.  They were picking up a friend at the airport and wanted us to meet her.  We were to be at Ideale in North Beach at 8:30.

Now to park in North Beach you have two choices, expensive parking garages or not to park.  We chose not to park.  We rode BART and then took Muni to within a few blocks of the restaurant.

Our friends picked the restaurant after seeing it discussed on Check Please.  Spaghetti alla carbonara was the dish to order according to the program.  Ideale is in a high tourist area where there is very expensive average food.  But Ideale is more of a neighborhood place.  People having birthday parties and other celebrations.  The food is very affordable and more importantly, delicious.  The carbonara, to die for.

After dinner we walked toward the bus stop and parking garage.  We decided after dinner drinks were in order.  We went to Tosco, known for their wonderful after dinner drinks.   Everyone, except me, had the House Cappuccino.  I don’t drink coffee so I had a shot of Maker’s Mark. 

We then walked up to the bus stop.  The next bus was in 7 minutes.  Perfect timing.  We catch the bus, ride downtown to a BART station.  As we go through the gates at BART, Marty said, “Hurry there is a train at 12:02.  We might catch it.”  As we got to the platform the train doors closed, it sat there just long enough we thought they would reopen.  No, it then pulled out.  22 minutes to the next train.  That’s OK, we sat down and played on our IPhones.

We got on the next train and headed under the Bay.  At the transfer station the driver announced, “This is the last train tonight.”  What, that has to be wrong.  On weekends if you’re in the system by 1:00 a.m. you are safe to catch a train.  Well we were so wrong.  At our stop we looked at the schedule.  We were on the last train.  Then a guard came up and told us to move on, the station was closing. The system starts shutting down at midnight.

We were so lucky we got in the gates by midnight.  So much was stacked like dominos.  If we had had a second drink we would have missed the bus. If we hadn’t caught the bus, we wouldn’t have made the gates.  Not in by midnight, no way  home.  We would have had to take a taxi home major $$$$.  Or call and wake up our son or a friend and beg them to come get us.

I really agree with a friend who said, “ public transportation should run until after the bars close.”  If they don’t want us to drink and drive, give us an option to be safe.

 

Thin white dress, Speak slowly, No witness

This week there were not a lot of weddings.  But we did have variety.  

Monday’s first couple was originally from Mongolia.  They were so tickled that I could pronounce their names without help.  Practice makes perfect.  The bride had on a white lace mini dress.  The hemline was scalloped and made a V front and back.  Very pretty dress, except the lace was only lined at the bikini pants line and over part of her breasts.  A lot of bare skin hanging out.

The next couple were both dressed in white.  They had asked a woman in the lobby to be their volunteer witness.  I called their names and then asked where was their witness.  They then told me the witness had left.  SOOOOO  we had to find someone else, and no one would.  I shanghaied the Deli manager, had the license reprinted and signed again, and then we did the ceremony.   This was a couple in their late 40s.  They were very emotional and very happy.

As I was starting the next ceremony, I told the bride to scoot closer to the groom.  She did and he backed away.  Huge laugh from the family and friends.

We had a very stone faced child in one wedding. Let’s call her Jean.  She was around 4 or 5.  Jean stood next to her Mother during the ceremony, with never a smile.  After the ceremony her mother told me Jean was mad at her.  When they told Jean they were getting married today, Jean wanted to know why her mother wasn’t wearing a long white dress.  And she wanted a fancy dress to wear and be the flower girl.  Jean knew what a wedding should look like.  Can you imagine her wedding in 20 years?

Last story, I came down from a ceremony and there is a license on my desk.  It has a yellow post-it with a note written on it.  It said, “Speak slowly.  The groom has little English.”  Did you hear me screaming Wednesday afternoon?  I knew this would not go well.  I asked the clerk how little English.  She didn’t really know, the bride did the talking.  He just said getting married. 

I go to the couple and explain, I can’t marry someone who can not understand what I am saying.  I will have to question the groom, no one else can talk.  I asked why are you here?  happy.   No, why are you here today?  What do you want me to do for you?  no answer.  After repeating the question several ways he finally says getting married.  I am not convinced.  There are several little children with the couple.  I asked him whose children are these? no answer.  I said are these your children or his (pointing to a man holding one of the children)?  He said, five.  That was the deal breaker. I gave them options of how and where they could marry.  The clerk refunded the money for the ceremony and we sent them on their way. 

I sometimes think the clerks don’t want to upset couples by saying you can’t get married today.  They hope since my last time there I have learned Tongan, Mongolian, Hungarian, insert language of choice.  Or they know I will pull up all my Southern Belle charm and nicely tell the couple no.

School without Ms. H

A story about what happened in the office before I went to the classroom.  I sign in on a computer when I volunteer and it prints out a badge for me to wear.  Children who are tardy sign in on the same computer.  They click on their name, teacher, reason for being late, and it prints out a note to the teacher.

One of the children from our classroom came in with her mother.  Mom was trying to sign her in, thinking I am sure that an adult would do it faster.  Nothing was happening because she was using the screen as a touch screen, and it wasn’t.  The little girl in a very weary voice says, “ You have to use the mouse on the side.”

Over the weekend Ms. H sent me an email that said she would be at a conference Monday and Tuesday.  She hoped I would still be at school Tuesday to help the substitute, Ms. V.  I said I would be there.

Ms. V has subbed at Kaiser for years.  She works to follow the lesson plans the teacher has left for her.

Ms. H  had left lots of work/activities for them.  Better too much than not enough.  We went through all kinds of work: math, phonics, reading, creating sentences from rhyming words. 

I worked one on one with around 10 students.  They each read a little booklet to me.  I hadn’t  done this in 2 or 3 weeks.  I was pleasantly surprised by the progress of some of the children.  They were really finally reading, not just sounding out words.  Some even laughed at the story.  They got it. 

That is real excitement folks, seeing a child reading and enjoying it.

Meat Loaf

Last night Marty tested another recipe for Cook’s Illustrated.  This time is was for meat loaf. 

 

Every recipe has a goal.  This one was for a meatier tastier loaf.

This recipe had a huge amount of ingredients.  The meat loaf had 17 ingredients and the glaze had 8 ingredients.  That is just ingredient overload.

Here he is rendering the fat out of the pancetta and browning the onions.  Lots more stuff went into this.

                                                                

Marty is filling his “homemade” aluminum foil pan.  Now we have about a dozen loaf pans of various sizes, but the directions said make your own.  OK, did that.

 

This is the glaze simmering while the meat loaf cooks in the oven.

The meat loaf is out of the oven.  As you can see, the homemade pan leaks, mainly because you punch holes in it.  I am sure that is to let the grease run off.  But it makes a mess for the dishwashing queen, moi. 

                                                     

The meal loaf has been brushed with the concentrated glaze.  Now it goes back into the oven to cook under the broiler.

As the meat loaf cooks we have appetizers.  Marty had nasty oysters, I had luscious shrimp.  I made the cocktail sauce and picked the lemons from our tree.

All glazed and ready to slice.

A huge thick slice of meat loaf.  They met their goal, it is meatier, didn’t fall apart.  BUT it was heavy, dense, and not a lot of flavor. 

We did not think this was worth the 17 ingredients plus 8 for the glaze.  It really truly was dense.  You almost needed a knife to cut it. 

We have two recipes that are so much better.  One is Dolly Parton’s family recipe.  The other is from our nephew Chris N.  Chris’ recipe is by far the best ever.  And the funny thing is he has never tasted it.  He is vegetarian yet cooks meat for his family.

Leap Day 2-29-12 Weddings???

We were all wondering if there would be many weddings on Leap Day.  In years past it had been busy.  But after the slow Valentine’s Day, we didn’t know what would happen.

When I arrived at 12:45, the morning volunteer had only had 2 weddings.  Less than her average. I thought, good thing I brought a book. 

I was wrong.  I did 6 weddings and Clerk D did 1 Spanish wedding.  Not real real busy, but busy enough to feel useful. 

I had one wedding the bride really surprised me.  She had on a ordinary long coat that covered her dress.  The coat came off and I went wow, she looks absolutely stunning.  Her dress was an above the knee white chiffony material.  It was one shouldered, there was a knife pleated over dress that flowed over a sheath.  It was gorgeous.  She wore strappy sliver heels with a butterfly tattooed ankle.

The next couple were a little odd to look at.  She was very tall, he was very short.  They were the same age, yet he looked 10 years younger.  She was a typical white woman,  he was Mayan.  They were very demonstrative, but not in an embarrassing way.  During the ceremony the bride was teary eyed, he was just a little.  All during the ceremony he would reach up and give her a little kiss on the cheek, hug her, kiss her on the lips.  She would give him a little kiss.  After the ceremony I took them into Clerk D to get their certified copy of the license.  She later told me he was in the USA as an asylum refugee.  As soon as he is safe with citizenship, they will go back to Guatemala for a Mayan wedding.    I don’t see how citizenship will protect him.  Just my thought.

The couple was older, in their 50s.  His twin brother and his parents were with them.  The parents were 91.  The bride wore a silver lace dress.  This was not a delicate lace.  It was large and heavy lace.  Beautiful lace work.  The couple and everyone else were so happy and excited.  One guest was so excited she drove me a little nuts.  She was to bring up the rings and she also was taking pictures.  I told her I would ask for the rings.  But she kept bringing them up all through the ceremony.  While taking the pictures she was everywhere.  She flitted from one side to the other; crossing in front of me, a huge no no; getting behind the couple; running to the other side and then back.  I was ready to kill her.  I didn’t, I let her live. 

The last couple were something else.  She was a tiny woman who was 7 months pregnant.  Her bump was huge.  Her top did not cover the baby bump and her jeans didn’t pull up to the baby bump.  She wasn’t able to get off the bench without his help.  She said she was having awful back pain.  He was twitchy, he could not be still.  He also smelled like alcohol.  He wasn’t drunk, or I couldn’t have married them. We had his constant twitching, turning his head, moving and rocking.  She wasn’t able to stand for the ceremony and they sat on the bench. 

In my humble opinion he was on meth.  He had all the signs.   I questioned her about her pain.  It had started the night before, it came and went.  I told her it could be back labor, she didn’t know about that.  I asked her if she called her doctor.  No.  I told her any pain should be reported to her doctor.  It could be labor, false labor, the baby could be sitting on a nerve.  Whatever, the doctor needed to know.  I don’t think that soaked in.  As they left they were talking about going out for a celebration dinner.

 

Monday, a busy day for love

Monday afternoon from 1:00 until 4:30 Clerk D and I performed 11 weddings. She did 4 Spanish and I did 7 in English.

My first wedding the groom told me he was in the Navy.  He is assigned to the USS Enterprise.  They were having a quick wedding before he goes to sea this month.  After I pronounced them married, he kissed her and then said, "You are now officially a Navy wife!".

I was checking the next license and saw either a couple of interesting clues or major errors.  The groom and the bride had the same last name.  That happens every now and then.  But they both also had the same date of divorce, 3 months ago.  I checked with the couple, no errors.  We had a do over wedding. Can you imagine going through the hell of a divorce and then 3 months later making up and remarrying?  Man, I really wanted to get the back story on this one.  But I didn't.  So not just no endings, but no real beginnings either.

One couple was acting a little strange.  They held hands, they laughed and smiled at each other.  Yet every time he tried to put an arm around him, she'd jerk away and give him the death stare. This happened several times.  Just weird.  After I pronounced them married they laughed and kissed.  Go figure.

The couple had been together 17 years.  Their children were with them as witnesses and guests.  The groom was a wreck.  He was so grim faced and nervous.  The bride and the groom both felt a little strange marrying after being together so many years.  As soon as I pronounced them married, he broke into the most beautiful smile and relaxed.  The children cheered, laughed, and rushed to hug their parents.  What a fun cool moment.  Oh the bride was smiling too.

Last story.  The couple was so cute and fun.  They said they were going to have a "real" wedding later.  I, as always, said no you are going to have a party.  A big gorgeous party.  They laughed and agreed.  This was the real wedding.  They then practiced saying, "Party, we are having a big Party.  Party."

Monday was like old times.  A busy afternoon, weddings spaced out with no big over lap or rush.  A lovely afternoon.