Weddings, weddings, weddings

First Happy New Year to All!  May 2014 be a great year for you.   I know we are hoping it is much better than 2013 was for us.

Now why am I a week from the last post?  I have no idea.  But I  have lots of weddings to write about. 

Monday was my normal volunteer day at the Marriage Factory.  Tuesday was New Year's Eve and I went in to help.  They were very worried about huge crowds. 

Monday I have no idea how many weddings I did.  The couples were lined up before we opened the doors at 8:30.  By 10:00 I had a runner bringing up couples to me.  Staff opened another room and decorated it so we could push through the licenses.  When there are 9 licenses on the desk and only one room, couples would have to wait at least 2 hours.  I left at 12:30 and the crowd grew.  Staff called in another volunteer to help the regular volunteer.  By end of business combined we had done 56 weddings. 

Tuesday we had three volunteers and staff available also with two rooms open.  We were like a well oiled machine doing the weddings. I arrived at 9:30 and left about 2:45.  I think we had done 40 weddings and the crowd was growing.  I don't have final numbers on Tuesday's weddings.

Some highlights of the two days.
The clerk brought the license and said they were "cuties". Everyone in the group had on something purple: shoes, shirt, dress,  jacket, flowers in their hair.  They were so sweet and for some reason thrilled my name is Appel.

I  married a Vietnamese couple in their early fifties.  Life has been good to them.  I am talking major jewelry.  When I first looked at the bride I thought nice pendant necklace.  Then I really looked at it,  baguette diamonds surrounding a huge oval ruby.  How huge, probably close to 3/4 inch long.  Stunning.  And she had diamonds rings, yes plural, to go with it.

I asked if everyone is here.  You see this one coming don't you?  Yes, we are all here.  In the room, they tell me someone (who is on the license as a signing witness) is feeding the meter. With couples waiting to get into the wedding room, I have to get them out of the room.  They are not happy, but I couldn't hold up the line of licenses.  Finally the witness shows up and we have a wedding.  The bride was lovely in a long silk burgundy dress.  She  has a chiffon matching stole.  Very elegant, but she was chewing gum.

We had the obligatory "thin" white dress with a black thong.  Next I had a bride in a chiffon column dress.  It was very thin, with slits up to mid hip.  Thankfully she had on white hot pants under it.  Still a little tacky.  Next up tight sweat pants with camel toe. MY EYES!   We then had a bride who was 8 months pregnant in a very tight thin white dress. Her underwear was blue.

Best dressed bride for both days wore a dress from Target and heels from Forever 21.  Her dress was strapless and knee length.  The skirt was stiff and a full circle.  It was black lace over ecru.  Her shoes were black lace over ecru.  She looked like a million dollars. 

Very busy two days.  But having extra volunteers and two rooms helped us to move couples in and out in a timely manner.  And thanks to the great staff for all their hard work. 

Yep, still doing weddings

I haven’t blogged about weddings lately because there have not been many.  Wednesday has become a nothing day in the wedding department.  The last two weeks I have done a total of 3 weddings.  Not really worth the price of gas to get me to Oakland.  But even with so few, each wedding was wonderful and moving.

Wedding 1:  The groom was 45 and this was his 4th marriage.  That is a lot of baggage.  The bride was 34 and this was her first marriage.  She wore a white sheath with gold braid at the waist.  Oh, did I warn you of the thin white dress?  She also wore a black bra.  The nice part the groom had his own vows and cried as he said them.

Wedding 2:  The groom was Vietnamese and the bride was Chinese.  English was their common language.  He wore a black suit and black shirt.  She wore a tiered chiffony dress that had spaghetti straps.  The dress was dark blue with white polka dots.  Her shoes were sparkly blue flats that had silver metal polka dots.  Many of the Asian couples are not as demonstrative as other ethnic groups.  This couple almost clung to each other.  The groom was so emotional, and so tender taking care of his very nervous bride.  The love was felt in the room.

Wedding 3:  I saw the woman out in the lobby wearing a fuchsia strapless chiffon dress.  The clerks commented on the bride waiting for her turn.  The groom was all in white/cream.  White cord slacks, white shirt, he was too cool to wear socks and wore cream cloth loafers.  I introduced myself and then another woman walked up.  Oops, I had the wrong person as the bride.  The fuchsia woman was the daughter of the real bride.  Oh, the daughter was 11 years old.  She is a stunning beauty.  Up close I could tell she was too young to be the bride.  But 11 and that much of a knockout?  Quel surprise!  The mother/bride was even more stunning than the daughter.  The bride wore a cream sleeveless sheath with silver strappy high heel sandals.    The groom cried throughout the ceremony and the bride kept wiping his tears away.  This was already a family.  He was not the birth father, but he already was the father.  Nice nice family.

And that is it for weddings for the last two weeks.  In a couple of hours I will leave to go to the Marriage Factory.  Keep your fingers crossed that business picks up.

Where were the Groom and the guests?

Last week I did three marriage ceremonies and yesterday I did five.  I used to do eight in one afternoon.  Don't know what is slowing down the love. 

One couple stands out for several reasons.  She was in a creamy chiffon dress. It was knee length with a Grecian top.  She carried white roses.  The groom wore his Air Force Blues.  They were very emotional during the ceremony.  The groom was barely able to speak, he tried to talk and nothing would come out the first time.  After the ceremony I thanked him for his service, and told him the Air Force was near and dear to my heart.  My step father, brother, husband, and my nephew were Air Force.  I told him about our nephew, the Colonel who took the job in Turkey and moved my pretend grandchildren away.  I told the young Airman, if he ever ran into Colonel Triplett to tell him I wanted those children back here.  He said, "Guys like me don't talk to Colonels."

I was given my last license of the day yesterday about 3:55. The groom was 65 and the bride was 49. I called the couple's names.  A woman jumped up and started babbling: I figured out that the groom was putting money in the meter.  Just how quick do they think we can do the paper work and the ceremony?  He hadn't been in the building 15 minutes, yet has to put more money in the meter.  She is frantic, saying she will go get him, and takes off running.  So I wait and wait.  The bride comes back, he is on the way, but the witnesses are stuck in traffic.  The bride is nearly in tears, she is breathing hard, and so upset.  I told her we have time, to go sit down and take deep breaths, this will all work out.   The groom arrives and the witnesses soon after.  The bride is still upset.  I say let's go upstairs for the ceremony, and they say, "Oh, Bridgett isn't here."  So we wait some more. 

Finally at 4:20 everyone shows up and we do the ceremony.  I had liked the the couple, but their daughters ticked me off.  During the ceremony the women are bumping each other for position to take pictures.  I turned to them and asked if I needed to separate them.  One snarled no.  But they kept pushing each other.  The bride was sweet, but wore one of those thin white dresses.  It was a simple white cotton dress with a few small embroidered flowers on the bust and a couple on the hem line.  But her navel, bikini pants and bra showed through. 

By now, 4:40, the building is closed for the day.  And these people will not leave the wedding room.  I get them finally to the elevator.  What do they do?  They turned around and head down a hall that is not a public part of the building.  I had to use my school teaching voice and tell them they had to exit the building.  I was glad to see the backs of these people finally go out the door.

Thin White Dress Alert!

Last week on Wednesday I performed 5 wedding ceremonies.  And as always,  every wedding had something different to remember.

The first couple were older, the groom was 65 and the bride was 59.  It started  off well.  The couple was sweet, very tender toward each other and then it went nutso.  During the ceremony the groom starting rolling his eyes until only the whites showed.  He was swaying.  I thought he was going to pass out.  No, she wasn’t concerned, she kept smiling at him.  he smiled at her.  Then the whites of the eyes were back.  He was flat out weird and scary looking.  He would totally shut his eyes and then they would pop open, to all white.  Zombie??

The next couple were in there 50s.  This is not PC, but he looked like a gypsy.  He was from Eastern Europe.  He was swarthy and had long dark hair in a ponytail. He was dressed well in a black suit and a lavender rose in the lapel.  She wore a gorgeous dark burgundy lace dress that matched the color of her hair.  She carried lavender roses and had roses in her hair.  This couple was very emotional, they both cried during the ceremony.


The third couple was strange.  I did not think they even wanted to be in the same room.  They seemed so unhappy and they stood way far apart.  No smiles, no touching, no happiness.   The Marriage Desk Clerk told me later they were smiling and seemed happy.  I hope so.


Group four, and it was a group, close to 30 people.  It was like herding cats.  They had taken over the lobby and were having a loud fun party as they waited.  I kept trying to give instructions of where to go for the ones waiting for the next elevator.  They just kept talking.  Eventually everyone showed up in the Wedding Room. 


Then I totally lost control, all the women suddenly had to go to the bathroom.  The men were making phone calls, and the groom was posing for pictures.  When I finally got all of them in the room again, I used that stern school teacher loud voice of mine.  I told them, “From now on only I am allowed to talk.  So listen and I will tell you what we are going to do”.  And they all got quiet and listened.

I looked at the groom, he is still posing for pictures as I talked. Then I really looked at the bride and had to bite my cheek.  Thin white dress, no slip and her underpants’ seams showed.  Such a thin dress.  But none of that mattered.  This couple was in love, they had their families with them, and we had a wedding.


My last couple were in there late 60s.  Very tender with each other.  Their witness asked if she could read something before the ceremony.  I said yes and she began to read.  It was a legend about a Native American woman and the Coyote.  The woman was a weaver and made beautiful clothes.  Everyone wanted to win her for his wife.  She didn’t want anyone.  Then the coyote courted her and won her heart.  The legend told of their coyotes babies and then he takes her to his den and shows her his wonderful home.  And they lived happily ever after.  It was such a sweet loving story and a great beginning to the wedding ceremony. 

I only wished I had asked the name of the book.  I would love to read the legends.  I will have to do some research and find Native American legends.

Thin white dress, Speak slowly, No witness

This week there were not a lot of weddings.  But we did have variety.  

Monday’s first couple was originally from Mongolia.  They were so tickled that I could pronounce their names without help.  Practice makes perfect.  The bride had on a white lace mini dress.  The hemline was scalloped and made a V front and back.  Very pretty dress, except the lace was only lined at the bikini pants line and over part of her breasts.  A lot of bare skin hanging out.

The next couple were both dressed in white.  They had asked a woman in the lobby to be their volunteer witness.  I called their names and then asked where was their witness.  They then told me the witness had left.  SOOOOO  we had to find someone else, and no one would.  I shanghaied the Deli manager, had the license reprinted and signed again, and then we did the ceremony.   This was a couple in their late 40s.  They were very emotional and very happy.

As I was starting the next ceremony, I told the bride to scoot closer to the groom.  She did and he backed away.  Huge laugh from the family and friends.

We had a very stone faced child in one wedding. Let’s call her Jean.  She was around 4 or 5.  Jean stood next to her Mother during the ceremony, with never a smile.  After the ceremony her mother told me Jean was mad at her.  When they told Jean they were getting married today, Jean wanted to know why her mother wasn’t wearing a long white dress.  And she wanted a fancy dress to wear and be the flower girl.  Jean knew what a wedding should look like.  Can you imagine her wedding in 20 years?

Last story, I came down from a ceremony and there is a license on my desk.  It has a yellow post-it with a note written on it.  It said, “Speak slowly.  The groom has little English.”  Did you hear me screaming Wednesday afternoon?  I knew this would not go well.  I asked the clerk how little English.  She didn’t really know, the bride did the talking.  He just said getting married. 

I go to the couple and explain, I can’t marry someone who can not understand what I am saying.  I will have to question the groom, no one else can talk.  I asked why are you here?  happy.   No, why are you here today?  What do you want me to do for you?  no answer.  After repeating the question several ways he finally says getting married.  I am not convinced.  There are several little children with the couple.  I asked him whose children are these? no answer.  I said are these your children or his (pointing to a man holding one of the children)?  He said, five.  That was the deal breaker. I gave them options of how and where they could marry.  The clerk refunded the money for the ceremony and we sent them on their way. 

I sometimes think the clerks don’t want to upset couples by saying you can’t get married today.  They hope since my last time there I have learned Tongan, Mongolian, Hungarian, insert language of choice.  Or they know I will pull up all my Southern Belle charm and nicely tell the couple no.

More Weddings

Earlier this week I posted about some weddings.  Monday was a fairly busy day.  I did seven ceremonies.  Wednesday I did nine weddings.  I am going to give you some of the highlights of the week.

One couple was so sweet, they just oozed love.  I started asking what they wanted in the ceremony.  They told me they just wanted to say I do.  I could do all the rest.

We had the dreaded thin white dress problem.  The bride wore a Grecian style knee length dress.  She had on gorgeous jeweled sandals, had to be four inch heels.  And she had on underpants that had a blue Grecian Key design.  Really didn't need to see that.

One bride surprised me.  She was Indian and stunning.  Her look and carriage screamed sophistication. She was wearing an elegant black coat.  The coat was open and I could see her dress.  It was a sheath of black lace over a nude lining.  Beautiful.  She took the coat off.  The dress was one armed and the bare arm had a full sleeve tattoo.   Wasn't expecting that.

A couple in their forties were very emotional.  His two daughters were the witnesses.  The bride was crying before we got to the wedding room.  During the vows she started giggling. Then she moved on to full blown laughter.  By then we all were laughing.  After the ceremony she was back to crying.  She said they had talked at home on how she would react emotionally.  And she cried and laughed just like she said she would.   They were really a nice couple.  Very appreciative of me and of the staff.  As they left they thanked us again for "joining them together as a family."

The weddings were dress up affairs and jeans.  We had large groups and a couple who had to find a witness in the lobby.  Lots of love at each wedding.  But one wedding really stood out.

The couple was around twenty.  His mother was the witness.  I started asking my questions and the bride said, " I just want him to be my husband.  What ever you want to do is fine."  I was getting such good vibes off the two of them, I picked out the fluffiest sweetest ceremony I have.  Mama was snapping away taking pictures.  I began.  This couple just looked at each other and held hands.  It is hard to describe how tender the looks between them were.  I had goose bumps from the feel of love in the room.  I also had tears in my eyes.  This was how love should be.  After the ceremony I hugged them and told them how they had touched me. 

After doing thousands of weddings over 6 years, this reminded me why I volunteer at the Marriage Factory.  It is all about the love.

Weddings from several days

This may be a long blog.  I haven't posted about weddings in a couple of weeks.  I will just write away and if it is too long you can quit reading.

The bride was 49 years old, the groom was 63.  She was stunningly beautiful.  Slim, black spiked hair, coal black eyes. She wore a black sheath that had an overall pattern of white flowers that were embroidered. The witness was a little scary in sort of a nice way.  She told me she was a "seer" for God and said to me, "You are the loveliest person I have ever met.  You are a really good person and you are kind." Goose bumps time.  She really gave me chills when she talked to me.

The bride wore a black sleeveless sheath with a high neck.  The neck was finished in overlaying circles of chiffon which made a necklace. The groom had been a widower for several years.  He was so moved by the ceremony, getting through the vows was tough for him.

The bride G wore grey chiffon, the groom wore grey shirt, grey tie, black slacks.  Their twin boys (10 to 12 years old) were dressed like Dad.  I asked if they had vows or wanted to say the traditional vows.  Traditional.  Her mother started yelling at G, "You have vows, you say them, you  . . ."  I had to tell Mom to be quiet, it wasn't her wedding, it was G's wedding.  G would do what she wanted.  Well G them wanted to say her own vows.  The groom R, deer in the headlights.  He told her he didn't have vows he wanted to do traditional.  This became an issue.  I took R aside and told him let her say her vows.  All he had to do was say I love you.  And no one has to hear what he says except G.  Well she says her vows and he clearly said some really lovely things.  So it worked out great.

A huge group, four elevators full.  They were from America Samoa.  This was one happy loud group.  This also was a group with a lot of screaming running children.  I made a new rule no children are allowed off the pew.  In the middle of the ceremony a toddler ran in front of me, I stopped and told the parents to come get their child.  Oh did I mention four of the rug rats screamed, not cried, screamed through the whole ceremony.  No one tried to hush them.  During the ceremony the bride and groom were tearful.  And the groom was so choked up he barely got the vows out.

The bride was pregnant, due in 7 weeks.  She was short and small except for the huge baby bump.  I can't believe I wrote that.  I am now ready to write for TMZ.  She wore a thin strapless white dress.  Oh yes, the thin white dress season is on us again.  She also wore blue bikini panties. 

The bride was 37, this was her 4th wedding.  Her last husband died 11 1/2  months ago.  She had a very young baby.  Not that I am judging, but it looks like she didn't grieve long. I will say they were very much in love.  I hope this one lasts for her.

Final report.  They had no witness, so grandmother from the previous wedding volunteered to be a witness.  The bride was a knockout.  She was slim and fairly tall.  She wore a strapless blue and white dress.  The bodice was smocked and it had a circle skirt.  There was an underskirt of blue tulle that was about 4 inches longer than the top skirt.   She wore silver sandal heels that had tiny blue flowers on the top of the straps.

Yes, this is long.  I will try to update the weddings more often.  Lots of short blogs are better than a long one.

Nice lovely weddings, oh and a X rated one

Yesterday afternoon  was busy.  I did 7 ceremonies and took up a couple for a Spanish ceremony. And I did my first X rated wedding.  I have had R rated, but yesterday, OMW!

But first the nice weddings, or at least nice in comparison. 

My first ceremony the groom wore a tux and the bride wore a brown and white dress that had an all over small design.  Very striking.  They had their own vows and it was very intense. It was a really feel good ceremony.

The next ceremony could have been the bad one of the day.  But  they were out done by the X rated one.  The bride gave the clerks grief.  She kept asking when they would be called.  Mind you their witness wasn't there yet. They wouldn't be called until the witness showed up and we have no idea when ceremonies will take place.  It is first come first served. She wanted to change into her dress when they were called.  The clerk told if they aren't ready when called, we move to the next license.  So she changed and did her makeup.  She wore a heavy taffeta dress which had a cathedral train. It would have been lovely, but it had not been pressed.  He wore jeans, sport shirt, a leather jacket, and a very bored expression. 

During the ceremony their 2 children (3 and 4 year olds) ran screaming around the room and grabbing the vases of flowers.  I had to stop the ceremony and tell the children NO.  They were so stunned they sat down and were quiet for a couple of minutes. Oh the bride was only 21, do the math.  The witness started to sign in the wrong place on the souvenir certificate.  Three times I showed him where to sign and he got it wrong.  On the legal certificate I all but held his hand so he would sign correctly.

Another wedding was just lovely and fun.  All of the men were at least 6" 4".  The groom was 6' 6" and the bride was 6' tall.  All of the men had on Hawaiian shirts and the women had a Hawaiian theme going also.  Everyone was wearing a beautiful lei. Even the children. I asked if they were all from Hawaii.  No they just wished they were.

Now for the X rated one.  I saw the bride M sitting at the clerk's desk.  M was wearing a leopard silky print micro mini.  The back had a gold chain that hung from the halter neck to below her waist. The links were the size of a teacup.  The front was draped open  from the neck to below the waist. ( think Jennifer Lopez green dress) And the two sides of the drape were 6 inches apart.  She did not have the double sided tape Jennifer Lopez wore with hers.  All the clerks were stunned with how revealing the dress was.  The tiny tight skirt of the dress just covered her hips, but it rode up when she walked.  Her shoes?  Gladiator 6" heels. 

I called their names and they said we are taking pictures, wait.  I said, I'll take the next couple since you are not ready.  They became ready.  As M walked her dress rode up above all decency, and the drapes parted on top. Nipple flashes, I wanted to get her a safety pin.  During the ceremony a breast fell out, and she did nothing.  The men loved it and took pictures.  She finally pulled the dress over her breast. And it happened again, and again.  I couldn't believe it.  A breast falls out once could be a wardrobe malfunction.  Multiple times in a 6 minute ceremony, it is a show. I won't even go into the kiss off between the wedding couple and another couple.  Gross!

Bring back the thin white dresses.  I much prefer looking at underwear than naked body parts.

WEDDINGS: thin white dress

Monday I did 6 wedding ceremonies, more than all last week. Most of the couples were very normal, sweet couples. Most of the clerks were lovely and sweet. Yet the Clerk from Hell is still yelling at me. I took a souvenir certificate back to her to be corrected. She had put the wrong name for the bride. The CFH yelled, "That's what she said. And they shouldn't be getting married anyway. He doesn't want to get married." After some more ranting, she did correct it.

Now the above couple were a little different. The bride was 16 years older than the groom. He was well past legal age, around 30. ( I don't really worry about age differences. My stepfather is 17 years younger than my Mother. And they just celebrated their 48th anniversary.) To first look at them, you thought what a good looking couple. He had on a Tux, she had on a long white dress. And then you got up closer. He was addicted to his cell phone, texting away ignoring the world. She had tattoos that looked homemade. I don't like tattoos, but do recognize the artistry in them. Hers were really bad. After getting that close, I didn't want to look at them. She was in a dreaded thin white dress. Yes dear readers, no, nada underwear, none. She might as well been naked.

Wednesday was slower. I only had 4 couples. One couple was there with family. The bride had on a gorgeous white brocade suit with a lacy ruffled blouse. He was in a black suit. They were so sweet and in love. His father was so funny working the camera. Every second of the ceremony has been documented.

The last couple of the day had a large group with them. Everyone was excited about the wedding. There were 2 toddlers who were loud and busy while in the lobby. I was worried about having to out shout them. Well those were the best behaved children I have every had. The mothers said, "Inside voices now. And you must sit quietly." Those little ones never made a peep, nor moved. When the wedding was over, they were back to the toddler busy mode.

The couple were dressed up for the wedding. He had on black slacks and a fancy dress shirt. She had on a long black skirt with a side and hemline ruffle. Her hair was up with spectacular tendrils curling down. She had a rhinestone clip on the French twist and wore a tiara. She had silver Grecian sandals on. Oh, right I forgot the blouse. It was a blue swirled print maternity top stretched to its limit. This lovely tiny young woman was so small from the back. But from the front she was huge. The top was stretched out a foot in front of her. The baby had dropped and was almost below her waist. I asked when she was due, and the answer was any minute.

When I pronounced them married, they just held each other. It was a very sweet emotional moment. Another wedding that showed real love.

WEDDINGS

Monday and Tuesday I was fairly busy performing marriage ceremonies. Busy in a clump toward the end of each day. Both days I sat and read for about an hour. Combined I did 9 ceremonies and witnessed one.

There were several weddings with fancy dresses:
One was a long, satin, strapless, pale blue dress. The dress was pretty; but it looked like the bride could have turned around and the dress wouldn't have moved. The bodice was boned and very stiff and it seemed bigger that the bride, yet it stayed up.

Another dress was a knee length white muslin with a black border at the hem. It was strapless and had elastic across the bust. It was a little snug and tried to creep down. And she kept trying to pull it up.

We had the dreaded thin white dress. The bride was maybe a size 4 and the dress was a size 2. Thin and too tight. The dress rolled and bunched over her bikini panties.

And then we have the white strapless mini. The dress was a balloon skirt with asymmetrical tiers of the balloon look. And it was a maternity dress. The bride was 8 months pregnant. Not a good look.

As for the weddings, they were pretty routine. No weirdos this week. Just nice normal couples in love, wanting to get married.