Thursday, July 8, 2010


Wednesday was very slow.  Not just for me doing weddings, but slow for all of Vitals.  I also noticed driving to and from the County Building, not much traffic, not many people out.  The clerks and I discussed this and some of the customers brought it up also.  People are leery of being downtown.  They are afraid of the verdict.  Caution is winning.

Around 3:30 we did have a few couples who wanted to be married.   I had the average unthinking ones who thought they can walk in, be married, and be gone in 15 minutes.  I called the names and they said, "He has to go feed the meter.  I know for a fact they had not been in the building 15 minutes.  So I sent him off and told them to rap on the door when he was back.  When I did the wedding they were a sweet adoring couple.  Their daughter was the still camera person and the baby brother wrangler.  The bride's mother took video of them.  Very happy sweet couple.

Then I had the whole room glows with love couple.  They decided to marry, but no witness.  She went through the lobby and found a man who would witness.  We waited while he finished his business with Vitals and then did the ceremony.  This couple adored each other.  They just glowed with love.

And then we had the couple so in love they couldn't be bothered to listen to me.  Clerk R asked the groom if he understood English, since he was from Senegal.   He told the clerk he spoke 3 languages and English was no problem.  Remember the new rule.  I called their names and gathered the group.  There were maybe 25 people there for the wedding.  All talking and yelling.  And they had not stopped when they left the building.

When I tried to talk to the bride and groom, everyone gave me an answer.  I started the ceremony, no one could hear me.  So the lost her charm Janet yelled, "I am the only one allowed to talk now."  I started again, and noticed the matron of honor had vanished.  She was trying to find someone to take pictures with her camera.  Again I tried to do the ceremony.  I asked the groom if he took this woman as his wife.  No answer, I repeated, and the crowd (I can't call them guests.  They were an unruly crowd.) yelled at him to say I do.  So he did.  A little bit of fluff read and at this point I am regretting my choice of ceremony.  Why didn't I pick the really short one? 

I tell the couple we are going to be doing the vows.  I tell the groom the first phrase to repeat.  Nothing.  I repeat it.  Nothing.  He isn't even looking at me.  I am beginning to think he doesn't speak English.  The crowd is yelling at him and he looks at us blankly.  I said to him I didn't think he spoke English and I won't/can't do the ceremony if he doesn't understand me.  The crowd is now getting hostile., "Yes, he speaks English."  I told them all to be quiet, in my not very polite way.  I told him I had to determine his ability to understand English. Well, son of a gun, he did speak English.  He just wasn't listening to me.  He was talking to his bride, his best man.  He tuned me out.  As had the bride.  I finally finished the ceremony with some major editing to shorten it as I read.

I then told the couple I was going to the office next door to get their certified copy of their marriage license.  They were to join me in the office.  I looked out the door and they were headed to the elevator.  These ding bats listened to nothing.  I brought them back to the office and gave them their certified copy.  They then realized they had already lost their souvenir marriage certificate.  It wasn't in the Wedding Room.  So hopefully some one in their family had picked it up.

No comments: