Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Monday I performed 6 wedding ceremonies. Most of them were lovely, some were even special. And of course since it is me, we have the weird one. I think I will tell you about the weird one first, and end with the nice ones.

Wedding 4: I went out to get them. As we headed for the elevator the groom said his parking meter had run out. How long would this take? I told him to go feed the meter and I would take the next couple.

When I called them again, something was wrong. The groom stomped across to the elevator, glaring at the world. The bride grabbed a toddler, pushed the stroller with the baby, and called to her son who was probably 9. The groom continued to glare and did nothing to help her. We got in the elevator and the groom pounded on the walls, which made a huge noise and also make the elevator shake. Didn't like that. Glad it was only one floor up. We got off, he ignoring the bride and children, and go into the wedding room. He threw his huge key chain (it looked like janitor's keys) down on a pew, and then threw down the wedding packet, and crashed down onto the pew.

I had had enough of a temper tantrum from a 30 year old. I asked if there was a problem, he refused to talk. He is too busy sulking. She explained he had lost his expensive "cigarette" that was to help him stop smoking. And he was upset. I suggested they come back another day when his mood was better. No, they were going to marry now. So I did the ceremony, with his sulks continuing. This poor woman married the biggest baby in the room.

Other weddings that day made up for the brat above. One couple was older, he was 60 and she was in her late 50's. The bride was terrified of elevators, but was going to ride up to the second floor. She requested that only one person ride with her and everyone else come up after her. That was fine. There were 15 guests and we joined them in the wedding room. One woman kept trying to tell me how to run the wedding. I nicely explained only the bride, with some input from the groom, made the decisions. The groom had his brother and his son stand up with him. The bride had her brother and her daughter stand up with her. We began and I didn't think the groom would make it. He was almost sobbing, his voice kept breaking, he was so emotional. He could barely get any words out. And his brother was crying too. The bride had a little eye leakage, but not much. I was handing out tissues right and left. This couple was so happy, so in love. And both families were excited about the marriage. It was lovely.

My last wedding was interesting. The groom was 30 and the bride was 40. His parents were the witnesses. The groom was very very quiet and stone faced. I could not get a read on him. The bride was very emotional, as was the groom's mother. Again I was handing out tissues. The groom said his vows like a robot. When I said we will now do the ring ceremony, the groom grabbed the bride's hand and rammed the ring on her finger before I could say any of the pretty words. We all laughed and then I had him repeat the words. He still was stone faced. She is still crying. After I pronounced them married, he just melted. He grabbed her and hugged her, and kissed her, and laughed and smiled. He was like a different person. The man was just a little uptight with the ceremony. When all the official stuff was over, he was the happiest person you have ever seen. Love is grand.

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