Sunday, June 13, 2010

White Trash Wedding?

Wednesday there were not many weddings for me to do.  I took lots of couples up for Spanish and Cantonese.  Of course I can't do those.  The marriage desk clerk is threatening to teach me Spanish so I can help her out.  That will never fly, I am so bad at languages.

One of my weddings does stand out.  When I arrived Wednesday there were lots of people in the lobby and they were a little bit white trash. There are many definitions for white trash.  Mine is not poor ignorant people.  Money has nothing to do with it.  White Trash:  loud, prone to fighting verbally/physically, hugely overweight, ignorant, dressed inappropriately for the occasion, bad teeth(of course they could just be British),  10 years behind the styles, no class or culture.  Examples:  Paris Hilton, Brittany Spears, anyone on Jerry Springer.  It is a look, you just know.

When I go out to get them, the bride wants to change into her dress. She didn't want the groom to see her until she walked into the room.   Now she had 30 minutes to do this before I came out.  She could have hidden in the bathroom until the wedding.  But no, we have to wait on her.  OK.  I am getting info from the groom and checking out the guests.  I become a total snob.  The women have on dresses with spaghetti straps, and bras with straps wider than the straps on their dresses.  The dresses hang below the bras front and back.  A lot of skin is showing in a bad way.  The men look better, sport shirts not tucked in, and backwards baseball hats. 

And then the fight breaks out!  Well, a little fight.  One of the women starts pounding on one of the men, and he is about to pound back.  She is smacking him up one side and down the other.  I very coolly and calmly yelled like a banshee at them,  "Cut it out!  I won't have that in my room.  You are being disrespectful of this occasion!"  And they stopped.  She did mouth off at me, but I am a mother and a teacher.  I can tune that out.

So I get the signal the bride is ready to be brought in by her father.  I walk out and I am stunned by how nice this young woman looks.  She has a shoulder length ecru veil with a tiny tiara. She has on white sparkly flip flops. Her dress is ecru with a Grecian look, very flowy chiffon to the floor and high waisted.  She is a very large woman and this is the perfect style for her.  Is it the dress or is it her?  She looked great.

The bride started crying when her father handed her to the groom and cried throughout the wedding.  And the father cried.  The matron of honor cried. I ran out of tissue to hand out.  When I pronounced them married, the couple just held on to each other.  This was a very emotional wedding. 

The couple was sweet, very much in love.  Maybe they weren't white trash after all.  But everyone else in the room was.

Except me of course.

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