Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Safari in San Diego

Sunday the male hunter found a scorpion in the pool.  Using a high tech killing machine, a brick, he killed it.  Monday the female hunter found a scorpion in the pool.  Using her high tech killing machine, a brick, she killed it.  Tuesday the female hunter went to the pool.  She walked the perimeter looking for scorpions.  No scorpions in the pool.  But the hunting had moved up a level.  There was a killer mammal in the pool.  Floating on the edge of the pool, a dead gopher.  The female hunter does not fish gophers out of the pool.  She let the male hunter do that.

Now you are saying gophers aren't killers.  And you would be wrong.  They tunnel and the ground becomes like a sponge.  They kill anything with roots.  They kill beautiful plants.  The female hunter has lost a ten foot orange tree, a twelve foot redbud, a 40 year old rose, artichokes, gardenias, tomatoes.  All and more died from the teeth of the killer gopher. 

All people with lawns, gardens, trees, hate the killer gopher.  If you are an apartment dweller and don't understand this hatred, rent Caddyshack.  Or you can watch this montage of gopher action from Caddyshack.  This is more fact than fiction.

Wednesday morning, the female hunter walked the perimeter, checking for danger.  When she felt it was safe to enter the pool, she did.

1 comment:

Vallery Feldman said...

The only time I ever consider getting a gun is when I discover that gophers have decimated my plants. Most of my plants are in baskets, but they still get nibbled. gophers are cute but very destructive.