Saturday, April 28, 2012

Mullet, Peacocks, Roses, Pajamas

Wednesday we had a sampler of brides and grooms.  All kinds of looks.  All kinds of behavior.  Each wedding had a different feel.

The first bride wore a mullet wedding dress.  The skirt was ruched.  On her head she wore a gorgeous fascinator very much like the Champagne Birdcage Veil.   I asked if the couple had their own vows, he said he didn’t.  But she said, “Yes, on my phone.”  He was blindsided.  She read her vows and them he responded in the best way.  He told her he loved her, she was the best thing that had happened to him, and he would always take care of her.  Not a dry eye in the house.

The next bride wore a floor length, high waist dress.  The design was peacock tails in shades of rust and brown.  There was a lot of breasts showing, large bust yet no bra. When I asked for the groom’s ring, she started searching  for it in the front of her dress.  She dug around and finally came up with the ring.  Charming sight.

The next couple were so emotional.  The bride was a young widow.  She wore a white satin street length dress.  It had a bow on the back and sparkles on the bodice.  She carried red roses.  They both cried throughout the ceremony.  Their guests were dressed up for the occasion.  And everyone was so happy and excited for this couple.  You could feel the love for the couple and the couple’s love for each other.

Then we had the groom who beat on the door and pointed at me and at himself.  This happened three weddings back.  I had no license for him, and found him rude.  I had noticed the couple as I went through the lobby.  She was sitting on the counter and his head was buried in her breasts, which were covered in hickeys.  Charming couple.  She wore skin tight pajama bottoms, so tight she had camel toe.  Her top was a camisole that dropped to the nipple level.  And she was wearing Uggs.

The bride kept complaining she wasn’t dressed right for the wedding.  You think?  Then she decided this wasn’t a real wedding, it didn’t count.  Only their church wedding would count.  No, and if you feel that way, why oh why are you having a civil ceremony?   So she didn’t want any pictures taken.  He wanted pictures.  After that argument, the witness was allowed to take pictures from the waist up. 

This couple did several other things that ticked off me and our volunteer witness.  I was very glad to get them out of the building. 

Over all it was a lovely day with nice people.  And if they were all nice, what in the world would write about?


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