Wednesday two clerks warned me about a bride. One clerk had done the initial work on the license, and the other had filled out the witness information. when the couple came back. They told me the bride was over the top, loud, rude, yelling, obnoxious. Yet the groom was quiet and dignified. They both called her a ghetto bride. I was a little concerned. How was I going to control her?
I called their names and he came up. I could see her outside smoking, dashing around, and I could hear her through the closed doors. She came inside talking loudly. We got in the elevator and she loudly announces she is going to pass out, several times. (We were only going up one floor and she is already driving me crazy. ) I told her to hang on, we would sit her down in the wedding room in just a few seconds. And then I looked at her, really looked at her. She was terrified.
She really was about to faint. I sat her down and told her to breathe deeply and slowly. I told her she had to calm down. I kept talking to her, doing relaxing breathing with her. Talking to her quietly. It turned out the groom wanted to do their own vows, she was afraid. She didn't know what to say. And she was really emotional about getting married. We talked about how she could just whisper the vows to him, or just go with the traditional vows. That it was all about her comfort level. I told her that nothing would happen until she was ready. When she became quiet and calm, I walked her to the front and began the ceremony. I told the bride and groom to keep constant eye contact and forget about everyone else. And they did. She was so calm, intense, and beautiful at the same time. Up until then she had been almost tacky and trampy. But with the peace and calm came beauty.
She did say her own vows after her groom did. And I was moved by what they said. It was a lovely dignified wedding. I had tears from the tender words they shared.
After the wedding ceremony she became somewhat louder, but not frantic as before. Yes, she was a loud woman, but not an obnoxious woman. Fear does terrible things to us.