Monday, January 5, 2009

Again with the marrying / R rated Blog

WARNING: Part of the Blog is R Rated.

Today I began with event planning and not marrying couples. There were two couples I took up (separately) to see the room. They had just bought their licenses and weren't sure where to get married. They seemed excited by how nice our room is and that they could bring flowers and music if they wished. That was fun and I hope they come back when I am there.

I did several weddings. Nice, normal, happy couples. And then Bridezilla ( from now on called BZ ) showed up. When the clerk (Cindy) brought me the license she was in a rage. BZ had done a lot of rude things, that should have gotten her smacked up the side of the head.

Let's start at the beginning. These people would not be classy enough for Jerry Springer, white trash would look down on them. BZ was about a size 16. Her baby doll wedding dress was a 12. The spaghetti straps were fighting a valiant fight to hold up the enormous boobs. The bottom of the dress was losing the battle of covering her rear end. We are talking 10 pounds of potatoes in a 5 pound sack.

Cindy asked BZ to spell the witness' name. Cindy didn't hear it all and asked her to repeat it. BZ with great attitude spelled it loudly and slowly. All through this Cindy is never looking at BZ. There are nipples creeping up and over the top of the dress. When Cindy asked for type of payment, BZ threw her credit card at her. It gets worse. BZ looks over at the groom and says are you looking at my boobs? And then she pulled her dress down and shook her naked boobs in his face. And said, "Do you want to kiss them?" While waiting for the paper work to be finished, BZ sat in his lap and they necked. Gross. These were not teenagers, they were in their mid 30's.

When I married them I looked everywhere except at her. I was nauseated by her slut look and behavior. This is one I don't care to ever hear an ending.

The last couple was waiting for their witness to get there. We were close to closing the building. I agreed to stay and marry them and a clerk was going to witness if theirs didn't make it in time. The groom had called her and said I need your help at the county building and gave her the address. She thought she was coming down to bail him out of jail. When she turned onto Madison she realized it wasn't the jail, he was getting married. Everyone thought this was hilarious. They were a loving sweet couple. Everyone hugged me and thanked me for staying late. So the day ended happily and with laughter.

1 comment:

Joe said...

I talked to Lourdes & Cindy about this today. Boy, did we laugh!