Monday, April 27, 2009


Today there were lots of weddings. I did 7 in 3 hours. Not terribly busy, but busy enough I wasn't bored. Lots of nice happy couples. People from everywhere: Israel, Jordan, Peru, California, Pakistan, Vietnam, and the UK. I was planning my blog about the sweetly in love couples, the fun blended family, the shy Muslim couple. And then the last couple arrived. The planned blog is blown to hell.

This couple had maybe 20 people with them. Everyone was dressed up in black. They arrived right before the cut off time. When I received the license, not all the guests had arrived. We had reprinted the license so I took it out to be re signed. I called their names and they just sat. Now they are the only ones in the lobby, they have to be the couple. I called it three times and finally the groom sauntered over. I said I needed the bride also so they could re sign. She sauntered over even slower. She almost had on a strapless dress, but didn't seem comfortable with it. Tug here, tug there. She had a large bust so the dress should have stayed up. It didn't. Constant tugging it up.

Finally everyone has arrived and we head to the elevators. It became like herding cats. I couldn't get them on the elevators. They just stood and wouldn't get on. At last we are upstairs and in the wedding room. I call the bride and groom over to find out what they want: rings? own vows? stand alone? cameras? which ceremony? They both kept wandering off while I am asking them questions. The guests would not sit down and be quiet. I had to use my "school teaching" voice and get them all settled down. I finally told the couple to get their attendants and to stand up front. (I had stayed late for them and I was getting tired of them.)

The whole time the bride's dress is slipping down, and the bride would tug. Her sister is standing up with her and his friend is with him. Before I begin, I ask, "Are you ready ?" and the sister reaches over the bride's head and tugs the dress up. The bride threw a fit, they are ready to scratch out each other's eyes. The bride pulls her dress down, dangerously down. And they are yelling like 5 year olds. I had to tell them I would not do the wedding if they were going to fight. That everyone could just leave. That got them quieted down so I did the ceremony.

All in all not a pleasant group. They acted like they had rented the country club and we were all hired help. Dear Readers, I am never hired help. I am the Boss, the Queen, the Leader of the Pack. I found out later they had been rude to the clerk, the groom threw his ID at her. And the bride was all but flashing her. I don't like people being rude to my clerks. The clerks are very special ladies who work hard and are polite to icky people.

Yes, Joe, I do collect the weird ones.

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