More info on the last week

After I came home I felt stronger, but not great.   I have major swelling of my feet and legs, so walking far is impossible.  I can get up and the down the 26 steps if I have a doctor's appointment. A Home nurse and  physical therapist have checked on me.  To be so sick I am pretty healthy. 

Marty's brother and girl friend were here during the holidays.  They helped Marty care for me, cooking, babysitting, what ever was needed.  They made me laugh, and made me feel loved.

I wanted a normal day.  I wanted to go to the peaceful beautiful Hayward Japanese Gardens.  But I couldn't walk it.  So we bought a wheelchair and off we went.  I took pictures, but don't feel up to the effort of cleaning them up, cropping them, etc.  So if you want pictures, go to the archives and find pictures.  I think November 2013 you can find pictures.

We had a great time in the quiet of the gardens.  I felt almost normal, and came home and took a 2 hour nap.

I am still having intestinal problems.  They are running more tests and hopefully we can pinpoint the problem.  It can even be caused by the medicine  I am on. 

I am stronger, but tire easily.  Chemo will begin again on January 13.  Please continue to keep me in your prayers.  I feel your love and care for Marty and me.  Thank you for caring for me.

Health updatae

Well, you may have noticed I have been silent for a while.  Last Saturday I was in the  infusion clinic for a treatment and all hell broke loose.  Lightheaded, blurred vision, weak, pounding heart, I was  rushed to ER.  At one point Marty said 7 doctors were working on me.  Heart rate was over 200, that is not a typo. 

From ER I was placed in the Intensive Care Unit.  Finally the A-Fib was stabilized.  But I had infections, and they didn't know what.  So everyone who came in my room had to gown, mask, and glove up.  By the second day they said only wear mask.  The third night I was moved to a regular room.  There I was in protective isolation.  Anyone who came in my room had to wear a mask.  When I was taken for tests, I wore a mask to protect  me from others' germs.

It took a while to identify my infections.  All are very treatable.  I was weak, barely able to turn myself in bed.  When they finally let me up to walk, I needed a walker and 100 feet was a long long walk.  Christmas night they said I was strong enough to go home.  I was terrified.  I could barely walk and they were turning me out.  Of course they were right.

Just the one day I have been home I am much stronger.  I walked lots further today and am doing exercises for swelling in my feet and legs. Marty's food is so much better than hospital food.  Today I have eaten more than I was.

I am now called a frail patient.  Many things wrong, some not fixable.  But I can keep working on getting stronger and have a pretty good life.

Now as for Kaiser . . .  again they saved my life.  They give incredible care.  The hospital did not have an empty bed.  They were overworked and running on holiday staff.  But as far as I felt, I was the only patient there.  Kind, gentle, caring staff.  Thank you Kaiser.

Fun Stuff Stopped and Kaiser became my number 1 destination

The week started off fairly well, but then things went medical again.  Nausea reared it head again and diarrhea made life awful.  Because I wasn't eating enough and had other issues, I had no energy. I was shaky, whiny, and even had a crying  jag.  Everyone says it is OK to be upset.  But I don't think so, depressed and crying takes a lot of energy.

When I went in for my white cell shots they said I needed to be hydrated.  So for three days when I went for my shot, they hooked me up to an IV.  It did perk me up.  They told me any time I wanted to hydrate to call and they would have me come in.

Mostly I feel weak and tired.  In the past the further I got from Chemo day the better I felt.  Not so much this time.  Sometimes I sleep in the bed, other times I am in the recliner.  It just happens to be where I can get comfortable. 

Tonight we plan to have fun, keep your fingers crossed for me.  We are going to a party.  I have a gorgeous dress, pretty shoes, and a great head piece.  I have little hair but this band of "diamonds" makes you forget the lack of hair. 

Another Fun Thing

Graduation was a fun event.  Today I did another fun event.  I used to get pedicures every month.  But the economy tanked and skipping the pedicures was a way to cut expenses. I really missed pedicures. I  loved being spoiled, plus after  a certain age bending to trim nails is hard.  Older bodies don't twist and bend easily and I needed help.  OK, maybe a little rationalization going on.

Today my friend Debbie (best nail tech ever) brought her equipment to my home, on her day off no less.  She also filled me in on what's going on in her life and some people I know about.  Gossip, updates, pedicure with a great foot massage . . . a lovely way to spend the morning.

See my pretty toes.  Pity it isn't summer and I could wear open toed shoes.  I will just slip my shoes off quietly and let people discover my toes.  I think the color is called  Hooker Christmas. 

If you need someone to give you pretty toes or finger, contact me and I will share her contact information.  She works in Walnut Creek.  Sorry can't travel to Kentucky or Florida.

I made it to Graduation!

Sometimes I do go some place besides Kaiser, and it is for fun.  Yesterday I went to the graduation ceremonies  for Thor.  Well, you all have seen his picture as Thor.  His real name is Aaron. 

Aaron's mother is a dear friend of ours.  We lived with them two years ago while looking for the perfect apartment.  Since then we have become close to Arron.  In fact he is one of my babysitters.  He asked us to the ceremonies and I promised come Hell or High Water I would make it.  Worse case scenario I would SKYPE the event.

The night before graduation was rough.  Lots of nausea, little sleep, and intestinal problems through the night.  How was I going to make a 40 minute drive and a ceremony and reception?  Well, you suck it up for those you care about.  I took every pill that I was allowed, packed an emergency kit, and we took off.

All went well.  Aaron gave his speech, received his diploma, and then entertained us during the reception.  It was a marvelous morning.  I am so grateful he asked us, and more grateful I was able to attend.  He is a Culinary Arts graduate, that means I now have a chef at my beck and call.

That afternoon it took a 4 hour nap for me to recover, and I dozed through most of our nighttime TV programs.  But I did it.  I had fun, I got to beam with pride at a young man I deeply care about. 

Chemo again

Tuesday I began chemo again.  It went some better this time.  I was still nauseated and vomiting, but did not end up in ER.  I am tired and cranky.  But each day is a little easier.  There have been other minor side effects, but I  am handling things one problem at a time. 

I slept better last night.  And I have eaten some food that wasn't liquid.  Marty again brought home rich food for me, doughnut croissants that are glazed.    That may be supper for  me.

I have plans for this weekend.  I hope to be able to go to a graduation on Saturday.  Keep your fingers crossed.

Update on CT Scan

I just had my meeting with the oncologist.  The good news is the mass has shrunk a little and there is no spread.  Bad news, still wrapped around blood vessels, so still can't operate.  Maybe next time.

The chemo is doing its job.  I will begin another 6 weeks tomorrow.

Prayer Warriors, you are helping.  So please keep me in your prayers.

We had a great Thanksgiving and we are now shooting for a great Christmas.

A Hellish Morning

Today I had a CT Scan to see what is happening after the 3 rounds of chemo.  I have had several scans and it is no big deal.  They inject dye through an IV, you go back and forth in the tube several times, and it is over. Being agoraphobic I have to convince myself that I am in my safe place and not  in a closed in tube.  I can do that, so 10  minutes or less I am out the door.  Not today, we arrived at 9:45 and left at 12:15.

We arrived for our appointment and the receptionist tells us they are running an hour or more behind.  Come back later.  We went for breakfast in the hospital cafeteria.  Not exactly up to our local diner.  Then we upstairs to get an appointment straightened out for Monday.  We go check in and they are ready for me.  Marty helps me change into a hospital gown and I am ready for the tech to start the IV.

She checks veins and worries that they are thin, rolling, not pumping up well.  She doesn't want to have to stick me umpteen times.  So she studies my arms and hands.  She picks a vein and she is in.  No problem.  Oops, she hit a valve.  And then it will let her draw blood, but not inject anything.  The vein shuts down.  New vein, same story.  The tech so doesn't want to hurt me or upset me.  She contacts a nurse who is known for working through this type of problem.

They wheel me down to ER and the nurse starts working on me.  She is in, and the vein holds. Back we go for the scan.  The tech starts the saline and something moves in my wrist and I am screaming in pain.  What happened?  No ones knows.  No reason for anything like that to happen.  She starts it again and now the damn IV tubing is leaking.  Neither of us is happy.  Nothing is going right.

The tech checks everything and tries again,  still leaking.   She  pulls the tape ( fancy new pre cut tape for IVs ) off and re-tapes the IV, "old school".  Then she held everything together by hand until I finally receive the dye.   Finally I am ready for the scan. 

By now I am so upset that my calming thoughts have gone to hell in a hand basket.  I am crying, shaking, and in a full blown panic attack.  I just want it over, I want off that sliding tube thing.  I want Marty and I want to go home.  The tech was so sweet and trying to not hurt me, trying to calm me down, trying to get the test over so I could go home.  It is a wonder she didn't join me in the panic mode.

Now I have to get off the table and I am shaking so hard I can't get up by myself.  She grabbed the sheet under me and lifted me up gently.  After I was steady, she swung my legs around and got me off the table. I told her while I was stuck crying in that tube the song I've got tears in my ears from lying on  my back crying over you kept going through my head.  She puts me back in the wheel chair and takes me out to Marty. 

I WAS FINALLY GOING HOME.

Don't think the tech did anything wrong.  She didn't.  I have rolling thin veins.  She tried so hard to not hurt me.  No one's fault.  Just the problem of old veins, stuck too many times veins, it was just a crappy day.

Wonderful Week!!!

My brother and his wife, Hank and Ann, flew in last Saturday and left at 6:00 this morning.  We have had a great, wonderful, laughing good time.  Because we are a one bathroom one bedroom apartment they didn't sleep at our place.  A dear friend who lives close by hosted them, plus loaned them a car to get back and forth to our place. 

It was my off week from Chemo, so I was feeling pretty peppy. A couple of days they took me shopping for  a coat, sweaters and shoes. Now every woman knows that shopping is work.  Lots of walking back and forth looking for the perfect thing.  I can walk, I can even shop a little bit without help.  But this was a massive event.  No way could I walk for hours.  I poop out after a while.  How could I do this?  And the answer came from Ann, wheel chair.  I said no, that would make me too pathetic looking, plus I didn't' want to buy or rent a chair.  Again Ann to the rescue.  Did you know if you ask for a wheel chair at most stores, they will loan you one? 

They rolled me all over Macy's and Nordstrom's Rack.  I now have sweaters, a winter coat, and shoes that fit.  After a 100 pound weight loss, I was desperate for shoes that would stay on my feet. I even bought some killer boots.  We had fun and accomplished our goal, getting me warm clothing.

Another day we went to the jewelry store.  My wedding rings will not stay on my fingers.  So I am having several rings resized.  I have missed wearing my rings.  Next week I will get them back.  I am really excited about wearing then again.

Every day we went out for breakfast after our trip to Kaiser for my white cell shot.  Some times I ate before we went, others I ate with the family.  I always had hot chocolate.  Come join us and I will take you on a tour for the best hot chocolate out there.

Chemo, round 3

Tuesday I had another round of chemo, and it  kicked my butt.  They hooked me up, I settled in to read, rest, sleep, whatever.   Then I had great intestinal urges.  Not normal, huge cramps, pain, and some screaming and crying from me. I was shaking so hard that I was vibrating.  Also my blood pressure spiked and all went to hell in a hand basket.   My babysitter for the day, Kirsten, rounded up  nurses and they began working on me.

They stopped the chemo and started me on something to calm my body down.  After that IV took effect, we started the chemo again.  I was totally worn out by then.  Finally all was finished, they hooked  me up to my take home chemo, and home I went.

Wiith in an hour of getting home I was vomiting.  After I had taken all the medicine I was allowed and nothing was working, the advice nurse sent me to the ER.  After several IVs this was under control.  We got  home around 4 A.M.

The intestinal  problem hung around a little, the nausea was still slightly there.  Wednesday was a tough day.   Thursday I was better and slept most of the day. 

I am able now to eat a little without being scared it will all come back up.  The next week is the off week from chemo.  My brother and his wife arrive tomorrow.  Maybe I will feel well enough for us to have fun.  If not, they can watch me sleep.

Great Surprise

Late yesterday afternoon I received a nice surprise.  Marty's phone rang and it had a number and  Corbin, KY. (my home town) I figured it was a high school friend.  WRONG.  It was my Big Boy Cousin, Ernest Triplett. 

Now to explain Big Boy.  Ernest was 16 when I was born. I only knew him as a grown up. I only had 3 or 4 cousins my age.  Most of the Daddy's were gone fighting WWII.  Ernest is a true Triplett:  charming, good looking, great hair, never met a stranger.  He will tell you stories about Kentucky, entertain you and sell you half the merchandise in his store at the same time.   Tripletts are great at retail.

He and my mother (Aunt Anna) were good friends.  He told me last night that talking to me was like talking to his Aunt Anna, that I sound just like her.  Ernest told me about a family feud that just maybe my mother caused.  Mother kept someone from being buried in the family plot and the offended family member cut all Tripletts out of his life.  I found this really interesting, Mother was a Triplett by marriage.  How did she have such power?  And why?  When I feel better maybe I will get all the details.

He gave me lots of information about the names the Triplett men were given for generations:  Henry, William, Hall, Napoleon.

Ernest called to tell me he loves me and to give some cancer advice.  His first wife beat cancer for 15 years and then lost the second battle.  He talked about Marty needing to take care of himself.  And then he said if you lose your hair, don't wear a hat or a scarf.  Get several wigs and have fun.  Also he said people look at  you differently if it is evident you have lost your hair.  They know you are sick.  Fancy wigs, they talk about how great your hair looks.  Interesting observance.

A little of this, a little of that

Marty takes excellent care of me.  He comes home with all kinds of stuff to keep me comfortable, to look better, or just to perk me up.

My hair has fallen out to an ugly state.   I guess I will have my head shaved when this round of chemo is over.  I need to be perky to make the ride to my hairdresser's.  Marty has been all over head coverings.  He googled chemo hats, wigs, head coverings for chemo patients.  I am happy with my baseball hat and the knit hats a friend made me.  Marty seems to want lots of scarves that look as if I tied them, but really are sewn together. He bought two great sparkly hats that I like a lot.  He  wants bright colors, design, fashion statements.   I just want  my hair back.

I went with him yesterday to look at head coverings.  I was tired and cranky, Marty was sweet and ignoring my bitchiness.  We went into a store that advertised they sold things for chemo/cancer patients.  First they didn't have chairs for patients, folks we poop out really quickly.  AND you can't try on any of the head coverings.  We left and I went home and took a nap.

Every day he asks what do I want for lunch, supper, for a snack.  And I always shrug my shoulders and go I don't know.  Even when food doesn't nauseate me, nothing seems interesting.   I am a hard one to help.

Warning Kirsten, gross stuff.

My mouth is full of sores and that makes it nearly impossible to eat.  These sores bleed, hurt, they make it hard to even open my mouth.  My teeth hurt and the gums bleed.  I am a mess.  The doctor had a mouth wash made up that you "swish and swallow".  It numbs my mouth for several hours.  So I can eat a little bit of soft food.  This morning I had bacon, scrambled eggs, English muffins: except I could only eat the eggs.  Everything else was too crispy, and hurt my poor mouth.

The "doughnut" is a huge help.  Pain levels have dropped.  Still not a nice thing to deal with, but we are handling it.

Back to sort of normal stuff.

We are getting excited about Thanksgiving.  My brother, Henry, and his wife, Ann are arriving on Saturday.  They know they are spending a ton of money to mostly watch me sleep and not eat.  But we will have fun.  We will laugh, Henry and I will as usual drive Ann and Marty crazy with stories from our weird childhood.  Some stories we tell over and over just to annoy our spouses.

If I am well enough we will go to friends for Thanksgiving dinner.   They have promised good food for all.  And for me, a warm bed with two adorable doggies to snuggle with. 

Keep you finger crossed that the chemo side effects don't go too crazy Tuesday-Saturday.  I would love to feel half way decent while Henry and Ann are here.

More on what is going on

First I want to give a big hug to all of you lovely people.  You have sent hugs, love, prayers, good wishes.  You have been fabulous at making me feeling loved and at feeling better.  Thank you.

I am going to give you all a little update on my exciting life.  My, my but I do have fun.  I seem to have a problem keeping my white blood cells at the right level, so I am getting an assist from technology.  Five days after my last round of chemo, I have gone in every day for 5 days to get a shot of Neupogen.(really only 4 so far, tomorrow is the 5th shot).  Monday they will do blood work to be sure it is working.  If all is well, then I can fight off infections and get on with the big fight against the cancer.

The next part is gross, so feel free to skip over it and say you don't need to know that much about my life.  Many things cause problems in life, and some are common problems that non cancer patients experience.  I am experiencing two opposites at the same time, constipation and diarrhea.  Didn't know one could do that.  It is awful, painful, and you don't trust your body's signals.  The pain is very much like giving birth.  The same condition from childbirth and the after effects of chemo is there to make life yucky,  hemorrhoids.  So today Marty bought me a present, a foam doughnut.  If you don't know what I am talking about, count yourself lucky.  At  least now I can sit without great pain.  Gross enough for you?

I did feel well enough to go to lunch with Marty today, I ate toast, one egg, and two pieces of bacon.  That is a huge meal for me.  Tonight Kirsten is bringing me an Italian Subway sandwich.  So a good day.

Again thanks for all the prayers and well wishes.  You folks make me happy and make me feel loved.

Chemo, round 2

I am not going to give you all the gory details of chemo.  What happens to  me, won't necessarily happen to some one else.  Very few do chemo without some side effects, and each time something different can/will happen.

The process is not that bad.  First I am given a huge amount of anti nausea medicine.  Then  I am hooked up to different IVs and sit in a nice recliner and doze, check email, read, whatever I want, gradually I just get tired.  Then they hooked me to the take home chemo grenade and we go home. 

That night, Tuesday, I was so nauseated, and I threw up several times.  That stunned Marty and me, I rarely throw up.  So it was an ugly night.  The next day my stomach was calmer, but still upset.  I took medicines and they sort of helped.  I slept  most of the day.

Thursday we went back to Kaiser to have the take home chemo removed.  They were concerned with the vomiting and nausea, so they gave me an IV bag to hydrate me and then a powerful anti nausea IV.  That helped, but was not a cure all.

Today I have slept most of the day.  I am not as nauseated, and no Code Brown yet.  That is the next big worry.   I hope tomorrow will be closer to normal and I will feel like eating.  Not much but soup being eaten so far.  I need more calories than that.

It has been a rough few days, but maybe not as awful as last time.  We will see how things progress.  This is more than a 3 or 4 day problem.

Your prayers are greatly appreciated.  Please add prayers for all suffering from cancer.  There are a lot of us out there.  I just heard a friend's cancer is back and has spread.  Prayers for unknown patients will help. 

Not the blog I had planned

Halloween is a big holiday in the Bay Area.  Everyone dresses up, nurses, clerks, chefs etc. Costumes are fun and very well done.  At the Marriage Factory we marry zombies, clowns,witches. .  . . very interesting costumes and lots of weddings. . . until this year.

I had Joe and Patricia, the Friday Marriage commissioners, ready to take pictures and to send in blog reports.  Well something happened on Friday, there was a parade and a city wide party for the World Series winners.  Oh that was the San Francisco Giants.  No one showed up to get married.  Great sadness, but hold on.  There are a few pictures and a guest star appearance on my blog,

We had fewer Trick or Treaters this year, but we had enough to enjoy the costumes.  

The teenagers looked great.  I thought I had a winner for best costume but then I found the little girl at the bottom of the screen.

Now the boys costumes were better, scarier, but cute always wins out.  Look at our little Lady Bug.

Later that night I received a visitor, a world famous visitor, Thor!

Here he is all 6' 9" of  him.  He heard I was ill and came to give me a hug.  We  had a lovely visit.

Why I Wear a Bow Tie

Joe all ready to perform a marriage ceremony.  

The Supreme Court recently declined to hear protests against the overturning of several same-sex marriage bans, instantly legalizing same-sex marriage in enough places that over half the US population could be guests at a same-sex marriage in their home states.  Well, Miss Janet was into marrying those couples long before it was popular everywhere.

I started at the Marriage Factory at her behest the day same-sex marriage was legalized in California - in 2008.  My first wedding joined a pair of women.  Proposition 8 was heavy blow to me.  I took it very personally, despite being in no way personally affected.  The wait for that same court's Prop 8 & DOMA rulings last year was long.

While waiting for all that hash to get settled, Jesse Tyler Ferguson of Modern Family started a website called Tie the Knot (tietheknot.org) that offers stylish bow ties through The Tie Bar (thetiebar.com), with most of the proceeds going to marriage equality organizations.

I dress rather formally when I go to the Marriage Factory.  If I dressed the way I do to go to work, couples would be getting married by a guy in a polo shirt & jeans - hardly "most important day"-worthy.  My wife thought I'd look good sporting one of the aforementioned bow ties, and bought one for me last year, before the court's decision.  I wore it the first day I married same-sex couples, and for weeks after.  After a while, I surrendered to routine and stopped wearing the tie.  It's hard to tie one well, and not every shirt looks good with a bow tie.

Earlier this month, she bought me the George Takei tie (http://www.thetiebar.com/product/BT044). George is not only Lieutenant Sulu, he is a gay rights icon.  I think it looks more like Eddie Van Halen's guitar from the "Jump" video (http://nyoobserver.files.wordpress.com/2011/06/evh_van_halen.jpg) than anything to do with Star Trek, but I wear it with pride.  Pride in a job well done.

Joe standing by for the next couple to marry.

--
Joe Mallon
j

Chemo update

Well chemo did a number on me last week.  My blood work shows my immune system is too low to take chemo on Wednesday.  I will see the oncologist this afternoon, and skip the chemo tomorrow.  We will plot a new course this afternoon. 

This gives me another week to "bulk "up for the battle.  I am hungry for the first time in weeks.  So I will keep pouring calories down my throat.  If I gain some weight now, maybe I will hold even in the yucky stage. 

I never thought I would be asking for prayers to be able to take chemo. 

Stay tuned. 

The name's the same and other notes

Some names are very common at the Marriage Factory.  John, Joe, and Mary, and their spanish counterparts, certainly.  Last week, though, I had 3 grooms, 2 in back-to-back ceremonies, with the same first name - one that wasn't a common first name.  It's the first time I remember that happening with this particular name.  I'll need to keep an eye out for similar occurrences.

Note to couples posing for pictures *before* the ceremony: you can take a few, then let's get down to business.  When I'm being moved out of the way so the photographer can get several poses from different angles, it's time to get going.  I know you wore your best clothes and look as good as possible, but let's do the whole "reason you're here in the first place" part.  You'll have plenty of time for pictures once you've actually been joined.

Technology is not for everyone, but when it works, it's very impressive.  One member of a couple was struggling to get FaceTime working on his phone and his parents' phone so they could be present at the ceremony.  I gave them a couple chances, and then recommended we have the wedding and he could talk with them afterwards.  As I began, they rang him to say they'd finally gotten it working.  A couple minutes later, there they were!  We started from the beginning, and all went well.  When we'd wrapped up things, he told me they were joining us from Israel!  Whew!  I'm glad they got everything working, as I'd hate to come between a nice Jewish boy and his mama on his wedding day.

Fashion Watch:

The bride in a beautiful blue shift with gold patterns - she was glad she "made it through without crying".

The couple who both wore suits - hers was a gorgeous white pantsuit like Bianca Jagger's Yves Saint Laurent from 1971.

The granddad who wore a Giants cap - go orange & black!

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Quick update

As has been said, Chemo is not for wimps.  It is a powerful enemy/ally.  I was bedridden, commode hugging, running down the hall sick.  The  thought of food gagged me, swallowing anything was torture.  I  pushed and ate a little, and then each day I was a little stronger, able to eat a little more.  I had to eat, or chemo would win.  The last couple of days I could eat more calories.  It did not matter what I ate, I  just had to eat.  Milky Ways, M&M's, Hot Chocolate, calories.

This morning I woke up and said pancakes.  Yes, I wanted pancakes and Chef Marty made me bacon and pancakes.  I ate two pieces of bacon and two and a half pancakes.  Also I had a little milk with breakfast.  It was all so good.  I am going to eat lots of calories to try to stop the weight loss.  Never thought I would ever worry about being too skinny. 

Wednesday the chemo begins again.  At least there won't be so many surprises this time.  I have a little idea of what will be thrown at  me. 

Tonight or Monday I will put up Joe's latest post.  It is a good one.  So watch for it.  Joe will keep wedding info coming to us.  

Joe' s wife, Sue, is now on my babysitters' list.  She has sat with me and has offered to drive when needed.  I have such fabulous friends. Keep Joe and Sue in your prayers because I love them and they love me.  And we all need love and prayers.  I pray for all of you out there every night.  You are a huge support for me. 

Chemo update

The only words that come to mind are urppy, icky, and shitty.  There are many side effects to the 3  chemo drugs I am taking, and several wandered through my body the past week.  I will not identify the side effects (SE from now on).  I don't want anyone borrowing trouble, they will have enough on their own.

It has been ugly but I feel a little better today.  The  big problem is we are afraid things will strike while in the car, standing in line at the lab, anywhere but our home.  Sleep is my friend, if asleep I don't suffer the nausea and other SE.  But the SE will get me out of bed quickly.

I am a little afraid to stay alone now. Cleaning up me and the bathroom is no small task.  And two attacks I could only stand there while I was helped.   Marty has done things that had never crossed our minds I would need.   Not in the wedding vows to hose off your spouse or to shop in the embarrassing part of the drug store.  Not in the marriage vows to dress me and then have to do it all over again in 15 minutes. 

Yesterday friend Kirsten sat with me while Marty was at a meeting. She had agreed to this before this latest SE had hit. I must say she is a wonderful friend.  She cleaned me up, washed the floor and everything I had destroyed, and spot cleaned the carpet.  Then she gathered up cleaning rags, my night shirt and other towels.  Those she took home to launder for me.  If you haven't been there you have no idea what a huge deal this was.  Love you Kirsten.

I know I am getting better.  I had a frozen Milky Way. 

Thanks to all of our friends and new friends with your prayers, cards and likes/comments on Facebook.  I have been blessed with a worldwide support network.  I feel overwhelmed.  Love to you all,

Joe is here to share some wedding news

Tears & Kisses

News of Janet's diagnosis hit me pretty hard.  She asked me to keep blogging about weddings, and I immediately promised to do so.  Then things got kind of boring at the Marriage Factory.  The best I can offer you is a few tales of tears and kissing.

The bride & groom have a Spanish wedding.  Both speak English but the family doesn't, including the bride's father.  The ceremony is lovely, and the couple are very happy.  Dad is also happy.  He is an older man, dressed in traditional western gear, and tears are running down his face.  His daughter explains that he is thrilled to see her married.

My next couple are women.  They also cry, very happy to finally be married, even though they are younger than me.  They were also very passionate.  I've seen many post-wedding kisses before, ranging from a dry peck on the cheek to the borderline pornographic.  These ladies - they knew how to kiss.  Quite beautiful.

I married several same-sex couples that week.  None were matchy-matchy.  Better luck to me next time.  Get better soon, Janet.

Joe Mallon

Chemo Day, not bad, yet awful

The process of being given the chemo is not terrible.  You sit in a recliner and they keep hooking up different bags of fluids and medicines over a 5 hour period.  Before that they gave me a huge amount of nausea medicine.  I had two chemo cocktails at the hospital and they started  my take home one.  It is hooked into the port in my shoulder.  There is a little grenade shaped ball that hangs down and sends the medicine into me. 

I told them I can't sit long without ice for the back pain.  So they gave me some ice packs, but not often.  So the back was a big problem.  The reason they couldn't put ice on me is a side effect of one of the many chemo medications.  I will be very sensitive to cold.  Ice on my back will cause the muscles to cramp.  I am not to drink anything that is cold or has ice in it.  My throat will have spasms and I could choke.  I  must wear gloves because any metal will feel so cold it would feel like a burn.  Even taking something out of the refrigerator could cause a problem.

When I got home I was tired just being up so long and hurting.  I napped and then it was supper time. UGH!  The smell was awful.  The very same home made soup Marty had made for me and I had loved the night before.  I was so nauseated.   I made myself eat the broth and skipped the noodles and chicken. 

I was very upset last night, I didn't expect to be tired and nauseated so soon.  Maybe it was just me, maybe the chemo.  Whatever it is I walked around the apartment carrying a wastebasket with a plastic liner in it. And I will continue that for a long time I am sure. I have a barf bag in my purse, just in case.

I don't feel very funny today.  I feel teary and sad.  I want to waller in the unfairness of this.  I want to kick and scream.  I will pull it together.  But Marty and today's chauffer Kirsten said I am allowed to absorb all that is happening and just feel it.  Maybe tomorrow I will be perkier.

Medical Marijuana Card, nothing is easy

My oncologist suggested I get a medical marijuana card before I start chemo.  There are benefits such as helping with pain, nausea, insomnia.  Certain plants are bred to help with chronic pain and nausea.  You might be a little sleepy, but no high. 

Today we started searching for a dispensary close to us and one that delivers.  Googled San Leandro, got the address, and set the GPS.  Well, that one didn't work out.  It was just a house in a nice subdivision.  We called the number, no longer connected.  So we spread out to the next town, Hayward.

The place was a nightmare.  Rude and ignorant bitch at the front desk.  We had called there and nothing was said about getting a card elsewhere.  All she could say was her script about primary care doctor writing a letter of recommendation for a screening doctor. I have been turned over to an oncologist and won't be seeing my primary care doctor.  She didn't seem to know what an oncologist is.   We asked for a screening doctor, she kept saying the same thing over and over.  They don't give out the cards, only the selected few doctors.  Finally she gave Marty a phone number to call, and they would help us.

He called, they answered the phone:  Doctor's Office.  The receptionist gave us an address in Oakland and we headed north.  We arrived, the building has an "open" sign out front, suite #, but was locked up tight as a drum.  Bless cell phones, Marty called and she was all surprised and came down to let us in.  I filled out paper work, explained my diagnosis, and Marty gave her $85 in cash.   Now I could see the screening doctor.

We went into a room that had a desk with empty drawers standing open, one chair, nothing on the walls, and a laptop set on SKYPE.  I blurted out, " Are you kidding  me?  The doctor isn't even here?" " Oh this is  modern technology, she said."  We could only see the MAN'S face from about the eyes up.  He asked why I wanted the card, right he wasn't even there.  He lives in Los Angeles.  So he had not seen their stupid information sheet.  I explained again, and he basically said OK you can get your card

I then lost it and asked how do we even know he is a doctor.  And that we have no idea what he looked like.  He moved the camera a little and then went back to the incognito mode.  Talk about a stupid system.  Only certain doctors can give you a card, and it seems as if they are working the system for the money.  Trust me, little medical info was going either direction. He took my word that I had cancer.   I felt dirty and as if I were doing something illegal.  And for people not in California, this a legal medical business.  It should  not be so hard and upsetting for the patient. 

At this point I just wanted to go home and cry and take a nap.  Marty pushed and said we needed to do this, and let's get it done now.  So he found a dispensary in Oakland and off we went.  This is where it got better.

All of the dispensaries have tight security.  Security in Hayward made us feel like criminals, they glared and made us feel as if we were going to rob them.  The Oakland one had a lot of security and they welcomed us, opened the door, and smiled.  The inside security watched us, that is their  job, but not in a mean way.  The staff did my paper work, and sent me into the secure room with all the stuff.  (Only people with a card can go into the secure dispensary area.  Marty had to go back outside)  Security showed me to a seat and said I will call you. 

A lovely young woman explained what type of medical marijuana might help me.  She listened to me and knew I didn't want a high, I wanted help with pain and nausea.  She checked with someone about the marijuana and other drugs I am on.  Then she said Marty should have a caregiver's card.  Then he can buy what I need when I am too sick to come myself.  She gave me info on setting that up.  She explained their other programs, massages, free haircuts, nurses to give advice, and on and on.  A cheerful place.  A place that was compassionate.  

And no, Kaiser and Medicare do not pay anything toward the marijuana.  We will see if the US will let us take it off our taxes.

Biopsy Report

My oncologist just called with the biopsy report.  There are no surprises, it is cancer.  She told me what type, and it did not register in my brain.  It is the most common type and I am sure I will get a written report in the next week or so.

So now we have a real game plan.  Monday I will have the port put in.  Tuesday they will set up my chemo sessions.  I will receive two types of chemo at the infusion clinic.   I  will then receive a portion of one that will be slowly released over several days at home.  Then repeat.  This is the broad picture.  I will get more details later.  The first round will be for 6 weeks.  Each visit takes around a half a day. 

The plan is to stop the cancer and to hopefully shrink the mass.  Again odds are not great, but gonna try what is out there to fight with.  This may or may not make me sick.  A few people don't have much trouble with this type of chemo, but most do.  She is upping my nausea medicine and pain medicine.  After the port implant Monday, I can try different forms of marijuana. 

Please keep me and Marty on your prayer list. 

Doom and gloom, and then you make jokes?

It has come to my attention that there is confusion caused by my health posts.  I tell you all how sick I am, the runs to the ER, tests, being scared and on and on.  And then I make jokes about it, or just write how normal an ER run is for us.  Some people think I haven't been very sick the last year if I am able to joke.  Others think I am too negative about my chances.  They don't want to hear about death.  Some think if I say how low the chance of survival is, I have given up.  So let me clarify the mud.

I HAVE NOT GIVEN UP!

I handle the awful things in my life by laughing.   I can't be sad all the time. So I have crying jags, and then I laugh about no need to shave my legs anymore.  If I cry all the time I will have no energy for this battle.  I have to recognize the bad odds and help Marty with practical things we have to handle.  I have to suck it up and be a big girl.  I have to keep fighting and keep laughing.  I do believe a little bit in miracles.  The Pet Scan was way better than we were braced for.  Prayers helped that one I am sure.

Trust me, I have been very sick for over a year and will be sicker.  I write about my health to help  me vent.  A friend told me it was important that I shared, now she knows how to pray for me.  I also write hoping maybe I will help some one else who is sick.  Maybe they can see some of  my issues are fixable and theirs might be also.   Maybe they will try prayer.  Maybe I can give them comfort and they will see they are not alone.  Maybe they will just get a laugh from the weird woman writing this.

Everyone handles illness differently.  Most people are much more private than I am.  They need to keep it all close. That is perfect for them, that is how they keep their sanity.  Anything that helps the sick person and their loved ones is perfect.  Crying, anger, laughing, hugs, prayers, venting, holding it close it is their choice for making it through the crap of illness.

Listen to and watch your friends.  Accept their ways to handle tragedy. 

A Team Brunch

The A Team is a group of friends who have become family.  We were neighbors and realized we all loved food, we loved to cook, we loved to be with each other. We get together and eat luscious food. We have highly planned pot lucks.  We also love deep down in our hearts to blow away the others with our cooking magic.  Not that we are competitive or anything.

Saturday we had brunch at our apartment.  Two months ago we said we will host in October.  As you all know, all I have done lately is plan doctor visits.  The brunch happened, it was spectacular, we planned it out and I gave up some of the finer entertaining rules in my head.  We planned our part of the meal to be something that we could prep the night before.  The brunch was all about being together.

Many, many pictures below of the prep and the party.

Marty and I made a Crab and Shrimp Tower with a citrus vinaigrette.  We used the black pipe to shape the tower.

Marty lined the pipe with foil and then layered the food.  Then the pipe was lifted off and the foil supported the tower until it was served.

Hank setting out the appetizers.  We had stinky French cheese, soft French cheese, wonderful charcuterie, and meat balls, 

Hank and Thom went all out.  We also had deviled eggs, veggies and dips, and mozzarella, basil and cherry tomatoes on a skewer.  I think they were afraid I would be too tired to prepare a main course.

We call this our Boudoir Dining Room.  The bedroom is huge and the only place to set up a table for 6 or more people.  

This is a long shot of the table.

The tower shot from the top.  I should have done a side shot.  The tower was lettuce, heirloom cherry tomatoes, shrimp, dungeness crab, carrots, and a crab claw.  We poured the vinaigrette around the tower.  There were sliced mangoes and avocados beside the tower.

The table is ready for our guests.  But first, just one more picture.

Nancy and Lew made an apple crisp for dessert.  The warm crisp was on vanilla ice cream, raisins, other wonderful rich goodness.

The A Team!  From left to right:  Janet, Marty, Nancy, Lew, Hank, and Thom.

Marty and me enjoying a little Bubbly.

The best part of this wonderful meal was I was able to eat.  The nausea pills work, Mr. Morphine worked, and everyone brought rich tasty food that appealed to my out of whack taste buds.  

It was a great day.  We laughed, we cried, we remembered other events.  And we planned the next event in November when our A Team Texas couple will be able to join us.  

Pet Scan update etc.

Last Friday I had a Pet Scan.  In a nut shell this was to see if there is a cancer spread, other problem areas in the body, inflammation anywhere.  After a long weekend, today the oncologist called with good news.  It looks like no spread, and no new trouble.  So some happiness in this mess.  Still an inoperable mass.  But we are only dealing with one problem.

Wednesday I have the biopsy and it will take at least 3 days for results to come.  That would be Monday the 13th. 

Monday the 13th  they put in the port for chemo.  Probably the end of that week I will begin Chemo.  We plan to be aggressive in attacking the mass.  I know that also means I will be icky sick through the chemo.  But we are going for more time. 

Your prayers are helping and I feel the caring from so many people that I have never met.  Thank you, and please keep praying.  You are needed.

Marriage Factory from another Voice

JOE IS BACK!  Tuesday night I asked Joe's wife to see if he would write about the Marriage Factory during all my tests and treatment.  I don't know how long I will be allowed to work with the public (they carry germs).  I want you all to hear the great stories we see all the time.  Below a great blog by Joe.  Thank you Joe.

A Runner's Job is Never Done

Janet has often referred to the Hall of Records as the Marriage Factory.  That's mostly a joke about the way you enter as two people and exit joined as one couple.  Sometimes, though, the analogy is closer than might seem appropriate. A couple weeks ago, I got to the Hall shortly before 9AM on Friday and there was a couple waiting to be married.  From that time until I left at 12:30, the desk was never free of licenses.

The clerks and I asked each other: why today?  There didn't seem to be a numerological reason, no 8/8/08 or 11/12/13.  It was busy because it was busy.  By 10:30, it was time to engage a runner.

When an officiant finishes a wedding, it can take 10-15 minutes to get the next wedding ready: leave the wedding room, wait for an elevator, run to the desk, grab and examine the next license, call and assemble the entire wedding party, wait for another elevator, and get the party into the wedding room.

A runner is a staff member who gathers the paperwork and the wedding party and brings them upstairs to the wedding room.  A good runner can do all that while another wedding is happening, saving enough time to squeeze in an extra ceremony per hour.

From 10:30 to 12:30, my runner was bringing up a new couple + guests every 7-10 minutes.  I'd finish a ceremony and meet the couple in the waiting room.  They reviewed the license while the previous couple waited for their certificate and took pictures.  Once the new couple were ready, on we went with the wedding.  Repeat as necessary.  When the dust settled, we'd done 20 ceremonies in 3 1/2 hours.

Noted among them:

Not 1, not 2, but 3 male same-sex couples who dressed alike (or at least very similarly) to get married.  In 2 of the cases, the only way to tell the outfits apart was by the tie. That kind of synchronization is very unusual in other weddings.  Sure, there's color co-ordination - the groom's pocket square matches the bride's slip color - but the twinsies look seems exclusive to the male-male couples.

After a particularly joyous opposite-sex wedding, the guests formed a prayer circle.  Though I am not permitted to join any form of worship, the worship itself is certainly allowed. This one was serious, with praising and "Amen"s bouncing off the walls.  There was also talk of the wife's duty to surrender to her husband, as adherents surrender to the church. Not how I feel, but the couple seemed fine with it.  I hope their faith and joy last throughout their marriage, although I wouldn't press too hard on the "obey" part if I were him.

--
Joe Mallon
********************************************************************************
Notice Joe did 20 weddings.  I have done that in healthier days, but not often.  That is pretty much what Joe does most Fridays.  The fastest commissioner around.  He is fast, but he also never makes the couple feel rushed.  We are so lucky to have him.

Bad Health News

In the past 6 weeks I have had constant back/rib, nausea pain, unwanted weight loss.  Tests have been run and the results suck.  I have a mass on my pancreas.  They can not operate because it is wrapped around blood vessels.  Right now I am going through some yucky tests to determine the spread, if cancer, what type. There is very little hope with pancreatic cancer.

Kaiser has been great.  They are getting all the information needed to help me through this and to keep me comfortable.  I am on nausea medication and Mr. Morphine for pain.  I also will be taking a marijuana drug to help my appetite.  Soon I will go to my local dispensary and get a medical marijuana card.  No standing on the street corner in California looking to score.  The marijuana will help with nausea, lack of appetite.  We can buy oils, cookies, make brownies, what ever I need to be comfortable.

Marty and I need prayers.  This is bad for the patient and for the caregiver.  Please share this blog with everyone.  Prayer works, and all religions welcome.

My close friends are circling the wagons.  They have already started driving me for blood work, to book group, etc.  Because of the morphine I can no longer drive.  Also Mr. Morphine makes me just a little slow reacting.  Brain thinks it and mouth goes Whaaaat?  I noticed I type and whole words are left out.

I will post as able.  I am begging Joe to post about weddings.  Not sure if I can keep marrying if in chemo.  When in chemo, they sometimes restrict contact with people. We are living day to day.  

There are a few upsides.  The only foods I am able to eat in a real size servings are lobster and filet mignon.  Marty is suspicious, lobster? Also if we do chemo, no longer shaving my legs.  We also will save money on hair cuts.

Yes, I will go down cracking awful jokes.  In my family you have to laugh to stand life.

WOW! WOW again!

The Marriage Factory was steadily busy Monday.  Busy enough they used a runner to bring couples to me.  I think I did 10 weddings between 9:00 and 12:15.  Great to feel needed.

Two weddings stand out for a Wow moment. A gay couple from Texas had come to be married.  One man had been born in Louisiana, the other in Georgia.  Yay, they would talk like me.  In the elevator they asked where I was from, and I gave my stock answer:  A little town in the mountains of Kentucky.  It is 100 mile south of Lexington and 100 miles north of Knoxville.  One of the men said, "Oh, Corbin."  How did he know that?  It turned out he used to travel for a pharmaceutical company and had clients in Corbin. We talked about places in the area.  It was like ole home week.

The other Wow moment was with a Chinese couple.  After the wedding they were walking to the elevator and the bride yelled, "That's my mother's art!"

sidebar:  The art in the Wedding Room area is all wedding related.  Alameda County buys art from emerging/struggling artists and hangs it in all of their buildings. Everything except the wedding art is rotated regularly to other County buildings.

The mother was not with them, don't know why, but the bride's father and sister were there. They were all so excited to see the art. They all took pictures of the painting and took pictures of each other beside it. Yes, a Wow moment.

Below is the picture.  Not a great shot,  I didn't realize I have a little reflection in it until just now.   I think this story will be something the couple will tell their great grand children.

A Chinese bride on her wedding day

The artist's name.

I still get goose bumps thinking about someone seeing a family member's work hung in a public venue.  

A little bit of everything

Even though I wasn't well enough to do marriages Monday, I have weddings from other weeks. 

The couple was Chinese.  They were dressed beautifully.  His shirt, slacks, and tie were a rich silver grey.  Her dress was a floor length grey chiffon.  The grey knife pleats bled to different shades from top to bottom.  Then there was the MAJOR diamond jewelry.  I noticed the couple didn't talk, the witness did.  Not a good sign.  Yep, little English.  They couldn't understand anything I asked them.  Now the funny part of this is the clerk who did the paper work is the one who we called to do the ceremony in Cantonese.  She swears they asked for English. 

Screaming children are a part of the job.  The couple's 4 year old son started to climb a support beam in the Wedding Room.  I asked him not too.  I didn't fuss, just told him it was a no no.  He was not happy with me.  I thought here we go.  No, he sat on the floor and just sulked, not a sound.  His mother said that is his go to mad stage, great quiet sulking.

One wedding had many fashion statements.  Plus the Vietnamese bride was so insecure.  She did not want any pictures taken.  She was maybe 40 years old.  She held her hand up to her face and said, "No pictures, I am so old."  Since I am old enough to be her mother, I must be a real hag.  She did give in after the ceremony and allowed some pictures.   Her daughter wore Daisy Dukes, a turtle neck sweater, a thigh length leather coat, lacy thigh high stockings and Dr. Martins.   And the other witness (a woman in her 40's) wore a royal blue sleeveless sheath. She looked very sophisticated.  And then I saw her arm, she had tattoos.  It just didn't match her look.  She had a couple of Hello Kittys tattoos on her arm. 

Drama and Friends

Saturday Marty and I had plans.  We were having the carpet cleaned.  Saturday morning we would have to move furniture, get breakables in a safe spot, move a lot of plants.  Not huge but stuff to do.  Friday night I went into A-Fib again.  It was close to bedtime and I went to bed thinking in the morning the heart would have settled down.  Nope, didn't happen.  Still vibrating and very dizzy.

Again the call to the Kaiser Advice Nurse and Doctor. Again they said to come in now.  No problem, except we were close to the window of the carpet cleaners arriving.  I told Marty to just drop me off and I would call when they released me.  He didn't go for that.  He came in, made sure I was going to be kept and not in danger, and then left.  I received the usual excellent care from the ED staff.  And had to have all the same tests run that had been run last week.  After several hours I was to be discharged. 

Now how to get home.  The carpet cleaners are at the house so Marty can't leave.  I am too tight to call a taxi for a 7 minute ride. Plus I needed to pick up prescriptions and I needed someone to help me.  I was too tired to handle anything.  So I called friend Kirsten. She had Facebooked me to call if we needed help.  She lives less than 10 minutes from me and maybe wasn't tied up with her son's activities.  She said she would be there as soon as possible.

A tech wheeled me down to the pharmacy to get  my new prescriptions.  Kirsten was waiting there for me.  She went up to get my meds and they said, so sorry we don't have drug X.  (this is the drug Marty tried to pick up earlier this week and they didn't fill the correct drug.  I have since ordered it on line but it hasn't arrived yet.)  They could order it and I could come back in a couple of days. Or we could drive to Kaiser Oakland and maybe they would have the drug.  My powerful friend, Kirsten, explained to them I had to have the drug or I would have to stay in the hospital.  She said they needed to pull the drug from the supply the hospital staff  uses.  And they did.  Not a full prescription, but hopefully enough until the rest arrives by mail.  Then Kirsten drove me home.

We all have friends at different levels.  Some care about us, but we don't socialize much. Some are just party friends. Some we see rarely but they are close like family, some are there always when you need help.  Kirsten is one of my friends who is there for me always, emotionally and physically.  If she can't do it she will send her husband or a mutual friend.  She isn't my only friend I could have called, but she was the one I called Saturday.  She handled everything that I couldn't deal with.  She took me home, walked me up the stairs and handed me off to Marty.  Love you Kirsten!

Always something going on at the Marriage Factory

I know, I am way late in sharing the weddings for the last couple of weeks.  I have great excuses, but will just say I am sorry.  Read on.

First couple of the day:  There's only one couple in either lobby, so they must be it.  I called their names and they came up to me.  I hear a clerk calling, "Janet, no, that is the wrong couple."  Well where is the correct couple?   I found them in the computer room off the second lobby.   The couple was fun and taught me a new term, loaner rings.  The jeweler had not finished their real rings, so they had two simple gold bands loaned to them. 

The wrong couple was my next wedding.  The bride was so cute and bubbly.  Her dress was fabulous. It was a swing dress with huge geometric designs in pink, green, and turquoise.  It was very 70's.  I asked her if she bought it in a vintage store, no at Ross. 

Sometimes I play Mother and take sunglass off heads, have them spit out their gum, take off work IDs, what ever needs to be done for good pictures.  But one wedding a clerk and I played concierge.  The wedding party was wanting a good brunch/breakfast on Telegraph Ave.  We both told them Aunt Mary's Café  .    Buttermilk pie, shrimp and grits with Tabasco gravy,  what isn't to like?

Sometimes we marry a couple we don't think will make it or we feel uncomfortable about.  I don't have to marry anyone, as a volunteer I can turn the couple over to staff.  But I usually go on and hope for the best.  The groom was 45 and this was his fourth marriage.  The bride was 20 years younger and no previous marriages.  They had a 2 year old who hated the father.  The child screamed bloody murder constantly.  He hated the elevator, he hated getting off the elevator, he hated going into the Wedding Rooms, he demanded to be held. If he was put down to walk, he kicked and yelled at the groom. Every time the groom touched the mother the child yelled no and tried to push the groom away.  During the ring ceremony the bride is holding the child and he kicked and screamed at the groom.  Clerk K and I think the child was trying to tell the world something.  We hope we are wrong. 

One last story and it isn't about the couple.  I asked is everyone here, answer was no.  A guest's car had been stolen, or hopefully towed.  He was talking to the police.  When he came in the lobby he was the saddest young man I have ever seen.  I told him he looked as if he need a hug.  He said, yes please.  Did they find his car?  Of course, I have no ending.

Damn! I said that out loud.

You should never tempt fate.  I wrote I had been  "normal" for over two months.  And then like an idiot I said that out loud at my book group Tuesday night.  I didn't just tempt fate I waved a red flag.

When I got home that night I was in A-Fib, not bad,  no secondary things to scare us.  No reason to even call the Kaiser Advice Nurse.  We have gone through this over and over.  Nothing serious was going on.  Well, not until 2:00 in the  morning.

I drink a lot of water up until bedtime, so nature took its course.  I needed to use the bathroom.  Along with all my other annoying health issues I have vertigo.  So I always stand up slowly, be sure I am steady and then start walking, didn't work this time.  I just had cleared the bedpost and knew I was going down.  There was nothing to grab onto.  I bounced off the cedar chest, hit the table's pedestal leg with my head, and screamed bloody murder.   I hit hard enough I moved the cedar chest an inch (I found this out later from the marks on the rug) and moved the table a couple of inches. 

We called the Advice Nurse because I am on blood thinners and must be very careful with a head injury.  They wanted me in Emergency immediately. Thank goodness the new Kaiser is only 7 minutes from the house.  No more driving to another town.  Off we went, I was still in A-Fib, so knew they would keep me even if there were no head problems.

I checked out OK neurologically but the heart rate was too high and the blood pressure was way low.  After a couple of hours I sent Marty home to get some sleep.  I knew the blood work and the drip would be several more hours.  I was home before 9:00 that morning. 

I am sore and tired.  Marty had put an ice pack on my head, so no black eye.  We didn't ice my thigh and it is very colorful.  I was extremely lucky, no broken bones, no bad cuts or scrapes, no concussion.

So as I begin a new count of days not in the ER, I will not say them out loud.

Did you have a security blanket?

Many people had a security blankets as a baby/small child.  My little brother had one.  It was blue wool with a satin binding.  He would pick the fuzz off the blanket and feed it to anyone near him.  I never had a special blanket,  nor did Marty.  But Marty's little brother had one.  Another case of the middle child being neglected. 

Our son had a beautiful white thermal blanket he drug everywhere.  The white became pink after a red shirt ended up in the wash with the blanket.  He even took his blankie to preschool for nap time.  On his fourth birthday he came into the kitchen, threw the blanket in the garbage, and said,"I'm a big boy now."  I of course fished it out and saved it.  I think it was for his 21st birthday we had it framed with other things from his childhood.  I think it meant more to me than to him.

Some parents trim the blankets every now and then until there is only a hanky size square.  And some children go to college with their blankie square.  I took a teddy bear that a boy friend had given me. 

Security blankets make you feel safe, comfortable, happy.  And sometime senior citizens need one too.  Marty brought home a Sherpa Throw from Costco this weekend.  Velvet on one side, and the other is fake sheep skin.  It is light, warm, and cuddly.  I told Marty when I pulled it over me, all I wanted to do was suck my thumb.  Talk about warm fuzzy feelings.

Sunday we bought another one.  Neither of wanted to share.  Marty's is blue and mine is green. 

It has been a year and a couple of days since the great drama began

A year ago I went in to Kaiser and stayed for 8 days.  The great drama of A- Fib, diabetes, high blood pressure, and blood clots.  It was a scary time, and it was a life and death time.  Marty and I had to make decisions on my life.  Did I want to live a good life, or be a ticking time bomb?

We chose a good life.  We changed diet, exercise, cut back on commitments, and went through hell for about 9 months.  Lots of ER visits, midnight calls to the advice nurse, scary tests, and meds that didn't work.  Or meds that worked too well and I was a zombie. 

Around July things started meshing. I was used to eating healthy, still want bacon grease and butter.  I exercise 7 days a weeks.  I feel it is a punishment, I don't understand people who love exercising.  My meds were working together and no midnight ER visits.  Not even calls to the advice nurse. 

I have lost 95 pounds and am pretty cute if I do say so myself. 

Before

 

After with Marty, Little Brother, and Ann.

 



I feel fairly good most days.  I have learned to rest before I am exhausted.  I'm blessed with a husband who loves to shop and cook.  So a lot of routine work is off me.  I still cook, but rarely shop for anything.  Yesterday Marty came home with jeans for me.  He saw some 10 short, and knew they are rare and hard to find.   So he bought 3 pairs in different colors.  Yes, Marty is a keeper.

We understand none of my heath issues are curable.  But they are very treatable.  We know I will have flare ups and bad hard days.  But we know most days will be pretty normal.  Of course all of this depends on me following diet restrictions and exercising.  Boo hiss.  But I will do it.  I like my life and want to continue groups I am in and to continue volunteering. 

Most importantly I have learned that prayers from around the world help comfort and help with healing.  My blog friends and Facebook friends are very important to me and to Marty.  You all really helped us through a tough time.  Thank you. 

Stay tuned.  I am a drama queen so you know I will do something dramatic in the near future. 

A few wedding tales

Even though the  Marriage Factory was closed on Monday, Labor Day, I still have tales to tell.  I saved some stories from past weeks to cover the holiday.

A couple of weeks ago I was helping to train an intern.   She had just turned 18, so could now do marriage ceremonies.  She asked intelligent questions, took pictures, helped as needed.  But she was a huge help with one group.  We had a guest who was an elevator phobic.  And the poor guy was only about 10 years old.  So the intern walked him up the stairs to the Wedding Room.  In our building to go to the next floor is at least 2 stories of stairs.  I was tired by then and thrilled not to have to take the stairs. 

We had another elevator phobic, a toddler.  His twin loved the elevator, he was terrified.   What had triggered a phobia in a child so young?

 An example of the busy life of some of our couples.  They had come straight from work, got married, and then changed into casual clothes, and took off to go to class in Berkeley. 

I checked the license, the groom had just turned 40 the day before.  When he walked up to me, I thought we have to reprint.  His birth date is wrong.  He didn't look over 16 years old.  But he was really 40.  He says he is always carded.

People get emotional at weddings, the couple, the family, the guests.  I have even cried at some of the weddings I have done.  People will cry silently, they will have a break in their voices.  But this one was just weird.  The couple were so emotional they had to stop several times during the vows to pull it together.  One guest was sobbing loudly, crying and shaking, holding on to other guests.  Just really strange.  They all made it through, but I really wish I knew what the deal was.   Like I say, I have no endings.

What is that on your shirt?

I recently heard about a mom buying back to school clothes.  First that it is expensive, second you have to know/accept what style your teenager will wear, third it is expensive.  The mom was so thrilled her son finally was interested in wearing decent clothing, showering, and combing his hair.  All of us with sons remember that period when our sons' bedroom smelled like a dirty wet sock. 

Mom took her son shopping and they found some great shirts, bright, colorful, neat designs.  They both liked the shirts which were even on sell.  Score!  Home they go to show Dad the great shirts.

Dad looked at the shirts and then picked one up and said, "You bought this for school?  He can't wear this to school!"  Why not Mom and son asked.  "Look at the pattern."  And they looked.  The geometric design was not geometric.  Oh no, it was tiny cups and tiny beer bottles.  The shirt was a tribute to Beer Pong.

Lesson learned, put your glasses on and check that design closely.